haiku 10 Sep 2018

Fierce fast and playful
Plumed slashes that crave sugar

Bright blurred humming wings

[ americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan ]

my sentiments exactly

‘This is the life,’ the drug dealer thought, pulling back on a hinged brass handle screwed into a row of others like it. A brownish, fermented, sugary fluid ran out of the nozzle attached to the handle, flowing into a freshly washed glass. Setting the now-full glass down on the copper counter erected for the purpose of giving the users of that particular drug somewhere upon which to rest their arms while using it, the drug dealer took cash in exchange for the addictive, mind-altering substance he’d just dealt.

The appearance of cleanliness was important to the drug dealer, wherefore he carefully wiped down a few meters of bar dirtied by customers who’d become slightly sloppy after using the habit-forming drug he peddled. The drunk people had left earlier - not because he’d kicked them out for shouting crassly or the other drug users had told them to leave for making racist comments but because they’d decided to keep taking drugs elsewhere. Such things happened often, and the dealer was used to it. He knew they’d be back. He sold them the junk they liked in an environment they enjoyed, and he pretended to listen to their problems, which made them repeat customers.

“This is the life,” slurred a middle-aged patron, holding up his glass of beer to admire its color under the tepid house lights, his back stooped and bent under the weight of decades of sadness and addiction, his skin fallow and eyes yellowish from early-onset liver failure. On the bar in front of the middle-to-end-phase addict was a packet of cheap, pre-rolled cigarettes and a cheap lighter, things he needed on his sprint to an early grave. The drug dealer, who was in the process of mixing a drink using a more refined and potent form of the life-shattering substance he got paid to sling, nodded encouragingly, saying, “My sentiments exactly.”

americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan

governor slays dealers

True to his pledge to publicly execute persons harming Mainers, the state's governor, Paul Le Page, today beheaded two (2) executives of a leader sugar corporation as well as two (2) convenience store owners. “These sick – and now, thankfully, dead – people conspired to advertise and sell products packed with toxic levels of their addictive substance to children,” the governor said whilst standing in fresh, pooling blood. “Hooked, those children continued to consume 'White White' until they reached adulthood, when the substance commonly known as sugar overwhelmed their kidneys, which failed. Despite the best treatment available here in our great northern state, fine Mainers succumbed to the damage wrought upon them by the uncaring and solely profit-oriented importers of deadly, addictive, and highly-processed saccharose.” The governor's aides have issued threats against the importers and distributors of alcohol and cigarettes as well as the manufacturers of firearms, and knives. “Let this be a warning to anyone who dares distribute potentially dangerous items to the good people of my beloved Maine,” Le Page said, sweeping his arm over the cooling bodies piled at his feet. “We will not rest until anyone who offers for sale things that might harm us is six feet under.”

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

on changing tastes

In a stunning reversal of gastronomic preference, the American people started to demand high-fat, high-salt foods, refusing to eat anything that claimed to be low in fat or devoid of added salt. “We have not seen a shift in public sentiment – especially when it comes to the sodium and transfat content of food – occur so quickly, almost overnight, in a long time,” said chairwoman of the United Heartland Food Councils, Darlene T. Wikkelbak. “Not since Wafflegate, when the Pastrymakers of America publicly announced that although waffles were utterly delicious they were essentially sugar-packed, dimpled pancakes made up of massive amounts of gluten, not since that tragic day have the American people changed their minds so quickly.” Preliminary reports indicate that a single, 42-second-long, shoddily-produced parody of a fast-food commercial playing on the YouTubes has shaped Ynki opinion more effectively than all federally-funded public service campaigns of the last two decades, combined.

mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥

read this, smokers of tobacco

  Additional cigarette-smoking permits available – act now, limited numbers available. The California Department for the Restriction of Freedom (CDRF) has printed additional permits for persons seeking to smoke tobacco in public. It is illegal to simply light up, and citizens interested in sparking that cancer-stick on the street are advised to initiate the proper paperwork necessary to start the arduous process of obtaining one of these permits.

  In a press release issued today the CDRF stated that it restricts the liberty of the tobacco-smoking population in this fashion in hopes of silencing complaints from marijuana smokers, those violent and vociferous vagrants who grovel gladly before the CDRF for permission to pursue their Happiness. To insure the domesticTranquility and to secure the Blessings of Liberty to all citizens equally, smokers of any type of tobacco must henceforth obtain permits before they shall be allowed to smoke in public their preferred substance.

  The elected leaders of the State of California and the appointed heads of the Department for the Restriction of Freedom began using the permit system when they discovered they could deliver vast profits to their prison-owning cronies by outlawing the use of addictive substances other than those sold or regulated by the State itself (prescription medication, alcohol, sugar). In addition to printing this batch of new tobacco-smoking permits, the CDRF is accepting applications from individuals seeking to drink coffee in public, from people wishing to gain or to lose body-weight, to cut their own hair, or to prepare their own food, and from citizens seeking to possess and to read books. Act now – limited numbers available.

  - reporting for The Violent & Vociferous Vagrant is HELLO MY NAME IS WHORPHAN

Spes Mea In Ratio Est | 場黑麥

on slavery as punishment

  The thirteenth amendment to the US Constitution reads, "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction."

  By any measure, this amendment does not abolish slavery - it makes slavery into an acceptable, official form of punishment. If my memory serves me correctly, however, few if any convicted criminals have been sentenced recently to slavery or indentured servitude. The use of slavery as a punitive measure would be more useful in some situations, less in others. A petty thief is fairly likely to renounce his life of crime after a few hard seasons under the lash, while a corporate officer convicted of fraud and embezzlement, a white man accustomed to the finest treatment his ill-won gains could bring him, such a man might just emerge from his grueling months toiling in the hot summer sun a humble and reformed person. Similarly, a man-slaughtering cuckold is unlikely to find redemption in tall swaying fields of sugarcane (a modern industry in which slavery is still widespread today), while the bankers who were allowed to profit enormously from the sale of fraudulent mortgage-backed securities would truly understand the meaning of labor if put to task making self-guided V2 rockets in the caves of central Germany.

  Perhaps is is because so many Americans have enslaved themselves willingly to the whore-gods of small-scale capital gain and conspicuous materialism that slavery is not used more frequently as a punitive measure: the slave is already under the yoke, so allowing her to max out her credit cards and providing her with no better outlet at which to express her abounding creativity and endless potential – in her pursuit of food, shelter, and clothing, the Three Fundamental Components of Safety – no better outlet than some menial, repetitive job, her self-imposed and self-maintained slavery ensures that the fruits of her hard labor are not afforded to her but to the very few persons who sit atop America's pyramid-scheme of capitalism. The slave will be in debt until the day she dies, always struggling to make the minimal payment for things she did not truly need, and could not truly afford.

  I abhor slavery. I do not think any person should ever be put (or put themselves) in chains, but as long as our Constitution states that slavery can be utilized as a way to punish criminals, we should consider using it to bring the false princes of capitalism down a peg or two. The humble are not just the backbone of civil society, they are its savior.

  Until next time, I remain, your most humble and loyal servant, &c.

Ultima Ratio Regum - 場黑麥 John Paul Roggenkamp

drug-free America

  National organizations such as the Partnership for a Drug-Free America and Above the Influence are established to educate children about drugs, including alcohol, in the hopes that these children will not use drugs. Until the last doctor proscribes the last prescription to Addreall, which is synthesized meth-emphetamine, and until the last child pops his Ritalin, which bears close resemblance to cocaine, our children will not be drug-free.
  The positive affect of getting kids hooked on synthetic meth and synthetic coke is that the purity of the drugs they are taking is very high, and the dosages are easily discernible, thus lessening the likelihood that these kids will overdose or be poisoned by the drugs they receive from their parents and from their doctors.
  Until the last liquor store closes and the last pack of cigarettes is sold, we will not be free of drugs in America. Until the last parent stops taking the last pill to combat their probably obesity-related illness, we will not be free of drugs in America.
  The only way to show our kids that life is livable without drugs is to make all drugs in this country illegal and unobtainable. Otherwise, we are sending our young people mixed messages that they will misinterpret. Far better were it to make all drugs available to all people, educating them on the uses of the drugs and on their potential side-affects, and making them sign a waiver before they receive sufficient quantities of the refined substance they deem most likely to positively affect their Pursuit of Happiness. Far better were it to admit to ourselves and to the world that we all take drugs (be they caffeine, sugar, alcohol, or nicotine), that life in this country without drugs is virtually unimaginable, and that we are a people that love their drugs in many and varied forms.
  End the confusion. End the oppression. End the restriction of Liberty.
  Legalize all drugs, or ban them all.
  Let the people Pursue their Happiness as they see best fit.
  Remember the promise of the Declaration of Independence.

Ultima Ratio Regum
John Paul Roggenkamp

on private property

or, On the individual's right to the body, the ultimate and irrefutable private property.

  Humans have bodies. Without the body, the human dies. There is no way to separate oneself fully from one's body without killing oneself. Therefore, the body is the only truly private property that man possesses. His house can be destroyed; his land taken from him; his car can crash; his clothes will fade and turn to rags; but, throughout his whole life, his body is always his private property, which by right of irrevocable possession he may affect as he pleases.
  If an individual decides to destroy her house, to smash up her car, to tear her clothes to ribbons, i.e. if she decides to do with her external private property as she sees best fit, no government agency will prevent her from altering or destroying her property unless said destruction and alteration should pose a threat to other people.
  In the United States of America, the use of external private property does not fall under federal jurisdiction, unless of course said usage poses a threat to others. Yet, the use of the ultimate private property, the body, does. It is illegal to introduce a great number of substances into the body, substances such as marijuana, cocaine, heroin et cetera, substances that can create feelings of euphoria and that expand the capabilities of the human mind. Instead of these entheogens (see here), Americans are allowed by the federal government to introduce into their bodies a number of other substances that excite the mind to a lesser extent, substances such as sugar, caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, and salt. It is not illegal to consume these substances, although over-usage of same can and very often does lead to addiction, physical disease, and death.
  Caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine together kill tens of thousands of Americans every year (see here), yet their use is unrestricted, and the federal government does not raid the homes of people using these substances. If police officers suspect that someone is smoking weed, they sometimes conduct, in appalling violation of the Constitutional protections, what are known as a "no-knock warrants" (see here), in which the smoker's property (the door to his home) is destroyed and his peace is violated by the forced entry of heavily armed officers.
  Why is this individual's home being raided? To protect him from himself? To protect those who live around him from potential harm? On average, the marijuana smoker is not a violent person; his drug of choice makes him hungry, prone to conversation, and generally happy. The alcoholic is violent, abusive, and unpredictable, and would therefore be the person who is more likely to be a threat to himself and to those around him. But I doubt a single "no-knock-warrant" has been ever issued because someone was witnessed carrying a case of beer into his house.
  Americans must be allowed to choose for themselves which substances they want to consume. We are already allowed to buy drugs like alcohol and nicotine, drugs that destroy the body and that cause inestimable harm to individuals and their families. Perhaps the greatest harm ever caused by marijuana is the removal of the smoker from society to a prison cell. Imprisonment leads to criminalization. Imprisonment breaks apart families. Imprisonment forever reduces the individual to life as a second class citizen.
  Outlaw all substances or legalize them all. Anything else is hypocritical. Anything else violates the right of the individual to do with her private property as she sees best fit. Anything else violates the essence of the Declaration of Independence, the notion that government is established: "As to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness."
  The incarceration of non-violent drug offenders does not effect, or create, Happiness; it destroys Happiness.
  The prohibition on substances other than those deemed acceptable by a majority of the population is un-American. We must have the right to choose how we handle our ultimate private property, our bodies. We have the freedom: to eat too much sugar, too much salt; to drink too much booze; to smoke too many cigarettes.
  The freedom to consume these substances is literally killing us. Ergo, any argument claiming that the prohibitions on substances such as marijuana, cocaine, and opium exist to protect us from harm and death are completely invalidated.
  Outlaw them all, or legalize them all.
  Let the People find Happiness where they may.

Ultima Ratio Regum.

JPR 30APR2011