tail and run

Our leaders are scumbags our cops break the law our money’s worth little our glaciers have thawed we poison the waters and dig up the land the sinister killing the dexterous hand. Huge banks receive trillions of dollars to stay afloat open solvent for a few more days the Army’s lost trillions too oh what a bummer but hey listen to this feel-good song for summer. Let’s fiddle along as the whole structure burns and be done with worry and doubt and concern instead lining up with our jackboots on tight with blood set to boil with torches alight. America’s bounty must not be spread out to hardworking peons and upstanding louts - it’s that of the elite who sit at the top who’ve found in taxpayers a sure source to tap who milk and who bilk us then turn tail and run to where they have hidden their wrongly gained sums. If this standard business continues apace there won’t be much left here on Earth for our race but paved-over wetlands but clouds of sour rain but legions of innocents suffering pain. To return to balance most us of must die (at least sixty percent if not eighty-five) whether from starvation or terror event - Mom Nature won’t rest ‘til her full wrath is spent. Sleep well in this knowledge do not get upset for there is some hope and promise for us yet provided we turn from our self-centered ways in these next few shallow and woebegone days.

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

America doffs Liberty

Citing its ongoing disregard for the Constitutional directive to secure the Blessings of Liberty for millions of its citizens, the federal government of the United States of America officially abandoned its stated purpose. “We recognize that spying on the People without securing warrants for each intrusion, and denying Americans the right to choose what substances to put into their bodies, has revealed to a candid world that we've given up on the founding principles,” said president Barack Obama at a Rose Garden press conference. “Therefore, we'll continue the process of distancing ourselves from any and all mentions or references to Liberty, a process that started with the sale of the statue known as Liberty Enlightening the World to Grigovia, a Central Asian nation.” Having written the following: in subsection 1 of section D of the Student Guide Introduction of AFSS 0910, a training document, that the persons who founded the American republic were violent extremists; and in subsection 1 of section E of the same document, that speaking about individual liberties, states' rights, and ways to make the world a better place are examples of extremist behavior; the Department of the Army of the United States ordered a redesign of its official crest. “We reject the notion that freedom is an essential component of American society, and are therefore removing the Phyrgian, or Liberty cap, from our emblem,” said John McHugh, current Secretary of the Army. “Henceforth, on the seal, the tip of the sword will be fully visible, to symbolize our unfailing dedication to striking first without regard to consequence.” Plans announced today also call for the removal of artwork depicting the Phyrgian cap from the Senate, and elsewhere. If the government continues its destruction of civil rights, watchdog groups expect incidents of civil unrest to increase as Americans begin to realize the full extent of federal skullduggery.

mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥

on Grigovia's mummies

Students of Central Asian history are celebrating the [re]discovery of vast burial and social complexes scattered throughout the heavily-wooded valleys of the towering Yiptlong massif. Bisecting the nation of Grigovia, the mountains have for millennia shielded the people who reside amongst their snow-capped peaks from enslavement, hunger, and want. With abundant rainfall in otherwise parched lands, a wealth of edible flora and useful fauna, and more deep, vine-choked woodland than most people would expect in a region lying so far above sea level (1600 meters, on average), it is little wonder that the ancestors of the modern Yaelong tribes settled here, and flourished. “Up until his death at age 97, my maternal grandfather would regularly lead me through mazes of tunnels reading the stories of the kings and queens of old that are carved into the stone walls of many of the subterranean halls. I shall gladly help decipher these pictographs and share what he shared with me,” said Erya Rovend, erstwhile leader of the Yaelong's Farflung Free nations and Grigovia's ambassador to the United Nations, who is currently living in South Dakota among the Lakota Sioux. “The proceeds from my newest book, 'A Yaelong Amongst Ynki,' will go to help to erect and operate a new visitor's center and to fund ecological and archaeological conservation efforts currently under way in the valleys of my youth.”

The sites, which include not only enormous mounds used for both burial and celestial reckoning but also entire cities made from quarried blocks the size of omnibuses, span dozens of square miles of what to the untrained eye resembles little more than dense forest. “We haven't seen anything this well-preserved from the ravages of history since the discovery of Teotihuacán, in central Mexico,” said Dr. Zynthia Weinbrenner, an archaeologist for National Geographic (Nat-Geo). “We felt that the time was right to share with the world the abundance and majesty of our forebears,“ said Duiro Vassd, leader of the Uloyindt branch of the First Peoples' Nation, a Yaelong tribe. “This is why we invited researchers, photographers, and writers from Nat-Geo into our sacred lands and guided them to sites spoken of only in myth by outlanders but celebrated and cherished in sung, verbal histories passed down to us from the time of Herodotus. We invite the world to come bear witness to another example of the artistic mastery and architectural cunning of bygone peoples.”

One [re]discovery likely to stand out is that of hundreds – if not thousands – of clay soldiers arranged in neat ranks around the 2nd Century tomb of King Leitho II, a feared ruler known even to Xerxes II, king of ancient Persia. Similar in scope to the terracotta figurines of Chinese emperor Qin Shi Huang Di, the Grigovian statues differ in that they were made using a clay rich in iron oxide, which should make locating them using x-ray and metal-detecting technology that much easier. “We know where to dig and what to dig for,” said Hu Lao-Xi, PhD., who has spent decades in his native Xian unearthing the armies of emperor Qin Shi Huang. “Therefore, we should be able to uncover more treasures more quickly than if the ancients had used a different base substance for their pottery.” Locals have little fear that outsiders will descend upon the area to rob graves or run off with hordes of ancient gold. “Not only is the terrain inaccessible to motorized vehicles, the great height and strong winds all but rule out airborne incursions,” said Thallandia Yündlennd, crown princess of Grigovia's now merely symbolic monarchy. “Furthermore, this region's ancient people stored their wealth in knowledge and art, not gold. Still, persons caught trying to smuggle treasures out of Grigovia will have their foreheads tattooed before answering to me.”

mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥

child takes things too far

While celebrating his 8th birthday party at a local park, Yusuf Henry D'Angelo once again took things a bit too far. Said the boy's father, Damion Xavier D'Angelo, aged 47, “Yes, Yusuf went over the line, as he seems to always do. One moment he and the other children are playing nicely in the creek, and the next, the boy is three stories up in a tree and cannot come down by himself.” While the birthday child was able, after many tears of shame and much coaxing from his mother, to climb under his own power back down to terra firma, sure enough, within a couple of minutes he had set fire to a pile of wet logs behind a nearby utility shed. “We do not know how he accomplished these things,” said Yusuf's mother, Georgina Hunt D'Angelo, aged 25. “He is a smart boy, and, normally, a good boy; his father and I watch him very closely in an effort to prevent just such occurrences, but, somehow, he manages to get away with stealing at least one police cruiser every week, and, just last Thursday, he hacked a Predator drone flying over Afghanistan and used it to rain death and hellfire onto a compound filled with bloodthirsty jihadists. How did he know where they lived, and how did he know, afterward, at which forward operating base to land the drone with such apparent skill? He even taxied the craft to its assigned berth. It may sound incredible but, here,” the woman said, pulling out her mobile phone and scrolling through the Received Calls list. “Here it is, right here, three calls from the Department of the United States Army. After the officer had calmed down and stopped shouting, he asked if I would permit my son – my eight-year-​old son – to join ROTC! Wow.” In the few minutes before the park closed and his birthday party ended, Yusuf tuned the park's only chainsaw, fixed a toddler's tricycle, made two new friends, and rerouted the town's commuter bus system to run more efficiently, all without appearing to have done a thing.

場黑麥 mentiri manufactorem fecit