If
you live in one of the many foul, depressing, forgotten, backwater
towns (such as Roswell, New Mexico or Hanover, Pennsylvania) that dot
these United States, you will have seen stickers affixed to cars that
read NOTW. NOTW stands for Not Of This World, and it implies (as far
as I have puzzled out, because I refuse to converse with clowns) that
the bearer does not consider herself to be a human walking on Earth,
rather that she thinks she belongs to a dream-world that may or may
not exist in the skies above us in which a large Caucasian man sits
on a golden throne all day deciding who gets happiness, who sadness.
Warning!
The NOTW devotee is dim-witted and slow of mind. Because of his
narrow, limited view of the world, he has little patience for
opinions that dissent from his own, and he works hard to drown out
and to silence voices other than those spewing his particular brand
of idiocy. All he cares about is making his invisible god happy by
going to church regularly and chanting along with the other crazies –
therefore his grasp on reality will be, at best, tenuous. Since he
will be going soon to his Other Place, his clothing will be stained,
ripped, and in poor repair. As he will at any moment be beamed up to
his Heaven on a rippling stream of his Jesus' piss, he will not have
showered or brushed his teeth in months, and he will stink like a gut
shot mule-deer. The NOTW crowd, though large and widely-distributed,
has only to die in order to get to their Happy Place; they care not
for the woes of our nation, nor do they see any sense in making
tomorrow a better place.
In
response to NOTW, a loose organization has formed for persons seeking
a respite from lunatics and idiots. Called Not Of This America, or
NOTA, this voluntary affiliation of open-minded, tight-lipped,
results-oriented individuals actually works toward making this nation
a Happier Place for All; we sacrifice time and effort not to meet the
religious measure of others but to improve the lives of our fellow
citizens. Two of the primary goals of NOTA are to battle tyranny and
religious oppression within the republic and to defend Liberty
against all who might do her harm. In keeping with our proud and
longstanding traditions of taking personally the plight of fair
Columbia, NOTA shall highlight a number of its core values,
submitting facts to a candid world.
My
America is a place where the Blessings of Liberty are alive and well,
where people decide for themselves which drugs to use, where they are
allowed to affect their bodies in any way they decide is best, where
they can gain or lose weight, drink booze or not drink booze, and
smoke dope or not smoke dope as they please. My America is a place
where politicians have the common fucking courtesy to keep their
religious opinions to themselves. My America is a place where women
have full, inalienable rights to their bodies, and where they are
free to decide if and when to abort a fetus. My America is a place
where all persons have food, clothing, and shelter, and where one out
of six of my countrymen does not live
with hunger. My America is a place where a homosexual can
marry anyone who agrees to marry him back. My America is a place
where the economic systems work to better the lives of three hundred
million, not to make a few hundred thousand wealthy beyond reckoning.
My America is a place where the police protect the Constitution
rather than tricking and browbeating innocent persons into forfeiting
their hard-won protections. My America is a place where there are
more than two, all-but-identical political parties. My America is a
place where the people elect their president rather than having their
president appointed for them by an electoral college. My America does
not invade foreign countries without having first declared war on
them, nor does she ever initiate wars of aggression against sovereign
nations. My America is a place where only rational laws are passed,
where laws based on moral or religious considerations are laughed
down raucously by all members of Congress. My America is a place to
which the wretched flee so as to escape tyranny, not where the
downtrodden are constantly tyrannized.
If
any of the aforementioned values struck within you a tone, scrape off
that useless NOTW sticker and join the cause for creating a more
perfect Union, establishing Justice, insuring domestic Tranquility,
providing for the common defence, promoting the general Welfare, and
securing the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, all
of which at some point in the future shall become again the primary
goals of this nation's government. And remember: it doesn't matter if
there is a god or not; what matters is what happens where you stand,
right now, on this planet, in this land, and if anyone tells you
differently, he is a crooked, lying charlatan bent on selling you
something.
場黑麥
ioanni
elymucampus fecit
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