Following
approval from the city council issued at its emergency sitting late
last night, property owners across Los Angeles revoked unilaterally
the rights of pedestrians to use private property, including
privately owned sidewalks. This move has been expected for months,
since LA's city council long ago abandoned her pedestrian population,
preferring rather to kowtow to rich property owners who because of
their great wealth can have laws written in their favor by bribing
and influencing elected leaders.
Attention
pedestrians of southern California: you may not use a privately owned
sidewalk unless you have on your person written permission from the
property owner! Instead, use the street, the roadway, or any publicly
owned sidewalk (which are stamped with City Of Los Angeles, whereas
private sidewalks are embedded with polished bronze medallions that
warn walkers to turn back). The Los Angeles Police Department is
issuing tickets upwards of $1000 to any individual caught using or
otherwise trespassing on a privately owned sidewalk.
“Anyone
not driving a car by now is just not worth our time, nor are they
worth any effort,” LA councilman Hinnrich Rheingoldt was overheard
saying just after the sitting ended. “We just don't have time to
protect economically insignificant, litigation-shy, foot-mobile
fuckheads who aren't buying us flights to Mammoth, or who haven't
contributed to any of our political action committees.”
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p.s.
cars have right-of-way in the street, so stay on your toes unless you
want to get sucked into the slipstream of a passing semi-truck and
tossed around like a rag-doll
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