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02 March 2012

3rd reformed tender of whorphans


Friends.

Our budding tender is struck today with tragedy. United whorphans of the Pan-Coastal region, our lesser jace, Randolm Whittlesmaeyer, died this morning in his sleep. All surviving lesser jaces are expected to attend the emergency sitting of whorphans at 1900 this evening at Jinjo's Diner (near Wahalaihala Point).

At this sitting, duties previously performed by Randolm shall be distributed among the assembled whorphans. These include maintaining the gravel walkways, patrolling along the outer western fence weekdays between 1200 & 1400, chairing the departments of crop maintenance and water recapture/preservation, instructing close quarters combat, and manning the crèche every other evening. Thank you for your time. May you be without ado.

Sincerely,

Reginald Augustus Steele

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