3rd reformed tender of whorphans

Friends.

Our budding tender is struck today with tragedy. United whorphans of the Pan-Coastal region, our lesser jace, Randolm Whittlesmaeyer, died this morning in his sleep. All surviving lesser jaces are expected to attend the emergency sitting of whorphans at 1900 this evening at Jinjo's Diner (near Wahalaihala Point).

At this sitting, duties previously performed by Randolm shall be distributed among the assembled whorphans. These include maintaining the gravel walkways, patrolling along the outer western fence weekdays between 1200 & 1400, chairing the departments of crop maintenance and water recapture/preservation, instructing close quarters combat, and manning the crèche every other evening. Thank you for your time. May you be without ado.

Sincerely,

Reginald Augustus Steele

classical music for war

If I could go to war, I would not be playing heavy metal from the loudspeakers of my M1 Abrams MBT, but one of the following pieces of classical music:


Bach: Violin Concerto #1 In A Minor, BWV 1041 (listen)
Beethoven: Symphony #6 In F, Op. 68, "Pastoral" (listen)
Mozart: Symphony #40 In G Minor, K 550 - 1 (listen)

Imagine the look on some Arab's face when you're shredding up the streets near his house in a massive metal beast with violins soaring and the beat of giant kettle-drums pounding in his skull.

The obvious choice, the one portrayed in film, is the Flight of the Valkyries (listen) by Wagner, which scared the hell out of Charlie back in 'Nam, and which is perfectly suited for combat because it is heavy and it invokes the Norse gods of war.

The modern enemy however might be wise to this strategy, and might have been trained to ignore Wagner's mounting crescendo of massed brass. He will not be ready for the hopeful oppression of Bach's Concerto in A Minor, a piece so full of misery that even the most battle-hardened opponent is likely to soil his trousers.

Semper Fidelis, Blood and Steele, Lead the Way.