a Catholic beating

Brazenly violating the teachings of her purported savior and the rules of common courtesy, a supposedly-pious area mother assaults and batters her own, unruly child. “We just can't control her anymore,” the mother is reported to have said. “She curses at us, complaining because we only listen to the Christian radio stations while driving in our car. I went to smack her on the mouth the other day, for saying something stupid and for using a bad word, and the child jerked away from my hand and tried to run away from me. What kind of little shit won't stand still and take her just licks? Incredible.”

Contrary to this news team's initial speculation, the woman's priest, an anal-retentive man with painfully fair skin and a disproportionately large food gut, was not troubled upon hearing about the woman's physical abusive of a child supposedly in his flock, saying, “YHWH gave that woman's husband absolute power over her and that child, but, since the husband is a spineless lightweight and the woman bore the child for nine months, squeezing it out of a tiny hole in her nether-regions, she has the right to discipline it as she sees fit, which, of course, includes smacking it on the mouth whenever she wants to. So long as she does not stop publicly praising Jesus and making regular donations at the church office, she could even kill the child without us so much as batting an eye; in fact, YHWH demands that parents kill unruly children.” (Leviticus 20:9)

Due to the ever-present threat of violence at home, the unruly child has been staying with her aunt and uncle, who do not beat children, since they are worthless fucking heathens. The abusive mother declined our request for interview, stating that she had to organize the next session of 40-days-for-life, a wearisome series of public protests during which the Catholic community labors to restrict a woman's right to her own body, attempting to codify the more radical Biblical teachings into law by legally banning such things as abortion, and birth-control. When cornered at a local discount retailer and asked – in light of her youngest child's severe mental retardation – if she would consider not having any more children to avoid making more handicapped babies, the 43-year-old woman began to scream uncontrollably, lashing out at anyone who came within her reach and babbling incoherently about religious freedom. When we explained to an inquisitive onlooker what was going on, he said, “Jesus tells us to do unto others as we would have done unto ourselves; I don't think he intended for some dumb bitch to discipline her kid by punching it in the face.”

場黑麥 mentiri manufactorem fecit

counter-protest - libertas victor!

  The forces of counter-protest today won a major victory in the battle against the anti-choice crowd: the opponent abandoned the field! With a new sign in hand (ANTI-CHOICE IS ANTI-LIBERTY opposite NO ROSARIES IN MY OVARIES), I arrived on the Hanover square at noon sharp, in time to witness the PRAY TO END ABORTION crowd blatantly violating the borough noise statutes by hoisting colorful signs reading HONK 4 LIFE, thus creating a public nuisance. (I am not a snitch, nor a police informant, so I refrained from informing the borough peace-keepers that noise violations were occurring willfully and continuously.) Less than an hour later, by one pm, the last HONK 4 LIFER had rolled up her sign and sped away in her minivan.

  I was not shaken when they sent a priest to intimidate me; I was not shaken when they sent a local cop to issue his warning – but the pro-lifers seem to have been shaken by my persistence on the square, and by my brazen mockery of their beliefs.

  The field is ours! Our foe is in disarray, routed and scrambling for the hills. Maybe just for one more day, the inalienable, Constitutional right of women to dispose of their bodies (their only true property) as they see fit has been defended by a new Guard for the future Security of the People of America.

  Fetuses are not babies until they are born! If I wanted religion in my womb, I would have slept with Jesus! Keep your rosaries out of my ovaries!

Thanks to everyone who voiced an opinion to the action of these last few days, be it yelled from a car or scrawled on a website. Defend your rights every day – let no man bar your way.

Ultima Ratio Regum - 場黑麥 John Paul Roggenkamp

counter-protesting - day # 4

  This picture shows the sign I have been holding on the square in Hanover PA for the last few days (the opposite side reads, CHOICE = LIBERTY - DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION). Today, however, things got a bit nasty: a priest showed up, grabbed the pro-lifers' only PRAY TO END ABORTION sign, crossed the street, and stood directly behind me for a good forty-five minutes. We had a brief conversation about the freedom of speech (he was incredulous when I told him that most modern nations allow their people to speak freely), but he retreated all the same, with a farewell, "See you later," when his attempts at intimidation didn't cause me to immediately vacate my spot.

  Many were the people who voiced their support for my efforts at counter-protesting, among them a shopkeeper from a nearby store (who praised me for keeping my distance from the pro-lifers and not posting up directly behind or next to them), truck drivers, people in passing cars, and the very nice couple who, out of solidarity, bought me a coffee and a water. Many also were the people who voiced their opposition to my signs, either through thumbs down or by yelling angry threats from passing cars.

  The culmination of my day, however, was when the local police showed up to inform me that they had received multiple complaints about the fact that I was displaying in public the word vagina. "This is borderline disorderly conduct," the officer said; "you have the right to speak freely, but we're getting complaints about the word vagina on your sign." I asked him if I could complain about the fact that the pro-lifers have pictures of dead and bloody fetuses on their signs, which I find disturbing and offensive, and he told me to file a complaint at the station. He took my name, address, and date of birth, and thanked me for being civil about the complaints. When I raised my coffee to him as I was packing up and he was pulling out of the parking area where I had been standing, he nearly shouted out with glee.

  I can imagine only one source for the complaints: the pro-lifers who had tried to bring out the big guns, and, having failed to shake my resolve, turned snitch. To stay out of trouble with the law, I will change my sign to read, "KEEP YOUR PRAYERS OUT OF MY WOMB," but womb is not nearly as memorable as vagina. Every action has an equal and appropriate reaction. I refuse to turn snitch and complain about signs bearing bloody and mangled fetuses, but I will not abandon my battle to secure for the women of this land the Blessings of Liberty. 

Ultima Ratio Regum - 場黑麥 John Paul Roggenkamp