George Zimmerman shot

In a stunning turn of events, the man who gunned down unarmed 17 year old Treyvon Martin was himself fatally shot last night. George Zimmerman, who killed a child in cold blood not long ago, was walking home from a convenience store after purchasing a packet of sour candy with his own money. He was approached by Edgar Wallace Finkelstein III, a Caucasian neighborhood watch volunteer who didn't like Zimmerman's odd, foul look or his obnoxious body odor. Jacked up on caffeinated soda and crazy with infamy, Zimmerman started acted in a threatening and dangerous manner. Finkelstein, who feared for his life, stood his ground and promptly shot Zimmerman in the face, killing him immediately.

mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥

Grigovia boycotts Olympics

This year, in London, the long jump will be a little less joyous, and the newest sport – bouldering – will be a little more bleak. As usual, America will win the most medals overall, with Russia and China taking second and third, or vice-versa. But, this time around, there will be no fights at the horse track and no shoving amongst the women's cross-country runners, no hostels set on fire and no main subway lines shut down due to rioting on the tracks. Yes, dear friends, the 2012 Olympics, being held in Great Britain's capital, are progressing in predictably subdued fashion, with just enough controversy to hold the fickle interest of the general public and just enough flash to keep the masses from asking why their governments are spending billions on shot-put and synchronized swimming when millions of people are poor, tired, hungry, and out of work. Regular spectators of the Games have already begun to lament the omission of one shining star from the usual roster of nations – the Glorious Republic of Grigovia (GROG). A country that in the past has made strong showings in militaristic events such as track-and-field, target-shooting, archery, long-distance running, judo, karate, and break-dancing, Grigovia announced it would boycott this year's celebration of peaceful competition through sport due to the participation of the United States of America, a country which invaded the sovereign nation of Afghanistan a decade ago and which continues to occupy that mountainous, arid, and landlocked Central Asian nation.

Said Baiyal Yennd, spokesperson for the Grigovian Ministry for Athletics and Sport, Interior (MASI), in an official press release at the start of the Games, “Beyond the fact that we as nations are both mountainous, arid, and landlocked, we Grigovians condemn any fascist state that perpetrates illegal and inhumane acts of war-like aggression against sovereign peoples – especially against peoples such as the Afghanis, who live nearby. Grigovia has rich deposits of rare-earth-metals, which Western companies found in Afghanistan last year and which they have already begun to exploit. Are the Yankees coming for us next? Will they bomb us next, and maim our children next, and kill our women next, in the name of their rapacious and capitalistic world-order? Until we know that America plans to abide by resolutions passed by the United Nations and by laws passed by its own government, and that it has removed itself from any sovereign nations where it has no business being, only then will the citizens of Grigovia even consider engaging the various peoples of the world in fair and honest athletic competition.”

When the USA invaded Iraq and Afghanistan in the years following the September 11, 2001 attacks, it violated international agreements signed in the wake of victory over the Nazi Third Reich and its ally, the Japanese Empire, which had invaded sovereign nations illegally, subjugating their populations and forcing them to dance to a tune not of their choosing. By following in the footsteps of Hitler and Hirohito and committing illegal acts of aggression (which are crimes against humanity), the president of the American Union at the time, a Mr. George Walker Bush, along with complicit Houses of Congress and Senate, mislead fair Lady Liberty by spreading among peaceful peoples not goodwill and freedom but avarice and death. “We have no interest in talking to or dealing with or buying things from greedy cowards,” said Uliyana Utlennd, head of GROG's Ministry for Athletics and Sport. “Just as we boycott murderous Soviets back in 1980, and I had to wait until '84 Games to win gold in both biathlon and women's cycling, now we boycott murderous Americans in 2012. A pox be upon the enemies of freedom, democracy, and free speech.” Grigovia has made just one bid to host the Olympic Games, in 1922, backing out only after the economic crisis known as the Great Depression – which was brought about by American and European avarice that persists to this day – ruined not only the country's nascent national athletics program but also a perfectly good pair of khakis.

場黑麥 mentiri factorem fecit

creativity supposedly ”still valid”

According to a report released recently by the office of the rear-secretary for Art-Specific Studies Among Urban American Populations (ASSAUAP), spontaneously occurring artistic creativity performed by individuals who are not paid specifically to be creative is still necessary for sustaining an upbeat, positive national consciousness. “We could not believe it, either,” said the project's lead researcher, Charong K. Charondibadi. “It did not matter how we tried to skew the numbers, or how many times we had those Bangladeshi typists re-enter the data – it turns out that uncompensated creativity matters, somehow.” The study, which bears the title, “Is creativity still valid?” furthermore indicates that works of art made and applied by individuals known as street artists enliven the General Public and enhances Its mood to such a large degree that all efforts to date to eradicate graffiti have been more detrimental to the continuing economic survival and spiritual buoyancy of the U.S.A. than the rise of the military industrial complex (which demands a state of perpetual war), the proliferation of the television (which has destroyed the art storytelling in this country), and the presidency of George W. Bush (which, via the Patriot Act, annihilated the Constitutional protections), combined.

場黑麥 mentiri factorem fecit

on my postal commie nightmare

I watch, each day, with loathing and great trepidation, as an agent of the socialist ideal drives up to a box at the end of my unpaved driveway into which he deposits slender pieces of folded and stamped paper, or, occasionally, a carefully-wrapped package. Then, his foul work done, he speeds off rapidly, as if part of an escape pattern calculated to send shivers down my spine. I have seen the agent close-up, and he wears the uniform of the United States Postal Service. Be warned, citizens of America: there are commies in our midst.

The U.S. Postal Service, or USPS, is a stubborn and tenacious holdout of the communistic infestation that has blighted this nation since before we had a presidency, a Congress, or a Supreme Court, and before the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence were written (let alone drafted). For nearly two and a half centuries, we have suffered from the benefits of this institution; for too long has it served all persons equally, and at low cost; for too long have we wallowed under this communistic oppression. The bastard Benjamin Franklin served as post-master to the state of Pennsylvania; he allowed this stubborn poison to infect his adopted colony; he even encouraged its spread to other colonies of the time. Such a man was Franklin, such a base and vile miscreant, such a foul agent of ever-creeping socialism, that in his supposedly enlightened time he was seduced and enslaved by forces acting in the interest of the general Welfare.

It is well that under the presidency of George Walker Bush the United States Postal Service was all but annihilated through clever and dastardly schemes (in part by being forced to accumulate within a short amount of time a full decade's worth of pension payments); if he had been but successful, we would still be singing his praises not only for engaging America in ground wars in two separate, sovereign nations, but also for wiping from the face of our shining land the final remnants of foul socialism. There is no option but the capitalistic option; there may be no services rendered but for those done by for-profit corporations; the dream of a state bent on improving the general Welfare and seeing to the domestic Tranquility was just that – a hollow, worthless dream conjured up by such scum as foul olde Franklin. Let no further socialists darken the threshold of my home – not to bring me my new shoes, nor to bring me the bill for my new shoes, not even to drop off a Festivus card – for I refuse to interact with commies, no matter how sunny their demeanor, how pleasantly they might smile, or with what sort of conviction they perform their duties in rain, sleet, and hail. A pox upon all commies, I say.

場黑麥 ioanni elymucampus fecit