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Showing posts with label data. Show all posts
Showing posts with label data. Show all posts

15 August 2013

Ynki-proofed data

Now hear ye all hackers, from far and from near, come store with us data files, emails, and gear. We protect our servers from Ynki intrusion, with firewalls, blind-loops, and other solutions. We safeguard your messages, intel, and drops, we stonewall all queries, especially cops'. Our farms they lie buried, in Grig's tunnels deep, watched over by robots that never do sleep. Our coding is some of the finest around, for we just rebuilt it on up from the ground. Sign-up it is shrouded and name-less to boot, we won't check your ID or go through your loot. So stop by and set up your own cloudy hoard, or proxy in via the network of Tor. We welcome all comers, and curse Western eyes, your data is safe from flood theft mold and spies. Our website is ynkiproofdata.gv, sign-up is encrypted, anonymous, free. We're quick alert brash brave fun relaxed and clever, you'll not want to leave but to stay for forever. Huzzah.

mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥

23 March 2012

Grigovia accuses wildlife photographers of spying


Just weeks after apprehending a group of thirteen supposed wildlife photographers found loitering in its Lower Yalung Valley, the Glorious Republic of Grigovia today voiced suspicions that the individuals now incarcerated in the notorious Hrammbar prison complex are members of the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency. While the detained have been allowed to speak with their families and to receive medical attention and psychological care, four of them are rumored to be heavily addicted to the local strain of spice, and four more are being held in solitary confinement following a brazen but unsuccessful escape attempt.

Suspicions were raised when analyses of the Americans' photographs by (Soviet-trained) Grigovian image specialists revealed sensitive data relating to troop movements, field armaments, and active long-range missile sites in sublayers of seemingly innocent image files. Upon being questioned about the data, the Yankees were reported to have remained stone-faced and silent. Pitr Mohammad Yilyilanov, senior press agent for the Grigovian Ministry of Internal Information Gathering (MIIG) speaking from Grig, the nation's capital, stated in a press release that the Ministry had found packets of seemingly random data that, when arranged and compiled with two different sets of commercially available software, turned out to be detailed blueprints and technical specifications for primary military sites along the country's western border, which it shares with Iran.

Each of the thirteen Americans' passports appears to have been stamped by Grigovian customs officials upon entering the country, although MIIG is currently testing the authenticity of the ink, a proprietary blend made using the root of the mountain sharpstand, or czabtyip, which is a rare plant that grows only in the Lower Yalung. Persons processing czabtyip into ink become addicted frequently to the spice, which is a lesser component in the process, but which wafts up readily into the nostrils, and from there, into the lungs.

After verifying their good health and better cheer, the U.S. State Department demanded half-heartedly the return of the thirteen Americans. Insiders at State report that everyone there seems to be standing around in bored half-trances waiting for the real action to get started.

場黑麥 ioanni elymucampus fecit