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15 August 2013
23 March 2012
Grigovia accuses wildlife photographers of spying
Just
weeks after apprehending a group of thirteen supposed wildlife
photographers found loitering in its Lower Yalung Valley, the
Glorious Republic of Grigovia today voiced suspicions that the
individuals now incarcerated in the notorious Hrammbar prison complex
are members of the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency. While the
detained have been allowed to speak with their families and to
receive medical attention and psychological care, four of them are
rumored to be heavily addicted to the local strain of spice, and four
more are being held in solitary confinement following a brazen but
unsuccessful escape attempt.
Suspicions
were raised when analyses of the Americans' photographs by
(Soviet-trained) Grigovian image specialists revealed sensitive data
relating to troop movements, field armaments, and active long-range
missile sites in sublayers of seemingly innocent
image files. Upon being questioned about the data, the Yankees were
reported to have remained stone-faced and silent. Pitr Mohammad
Yilyilanov, senior press agent for the Grigovian Ministry of Internal
Information Gathering (MIIG) speaking from Grig, the nation's
capital, stated in a press release that the Ministry had found
packets of seemingly random data that, when arranged and compiled
with two different sets of commercially available software, turned
out to be detailed blueprints and technical specifications for
primary military sites along the country's western border, which it
shares with Iran.
Each
of the thirteen Americans' passports appears to have been stamped by
Grigovian customs officials upon entering the country, although MIIG
is currently testing the authenticity of the ink, a proprietary blend
made using the root of the mountain sharpstand, or czabtyip, which is
a rare plant that grows only in the Lower Yalung. Persons processing
czabtyip into ink become addicted frequently to the spice, which is a
lesser component in the process, but which wafts up readily into the
nostrils, and from there, into the lungs.
After
verifying their good health and better cheer, the U.S. State
Department demanded half-heartedly the return of the thirteen
Americans. Insiders at State report that everyone there seems to be
standing around in bored half-trances waiting for the real action to
get started.
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