This past Mother's Day weekend, slotted in prime-time advertising segments across its various networks, MTV ran a series of ads promoting the re-release of its semi-hit-series, Corn Cribs. A show that focuses on revamped, and, sometimes, even completely rebuilt, bins for keeping and for drying entire ears of corn (so as to improve their self-life and to reduce moisture-related transportation costs), Corn Cribs has been derided by critics for the fact that financial and temporal resources that could have been spent uplifting the poor or feeding the hungry was instead wasted following camera-unready non-celebrities around and filming them as they pointed out various features of their supposedly interesting maize-retainment-structures. Fans of the show, who hail predominately from the Southern and the Midwestern states, praised MTV networks on agriculture-related web-sites and entertainment-related, Internet-based message-boards alike for taking the chance on such a far-out concept that focuses on such a seemingly mundane aspect of everyday farming life. Said MTV chief executive Brandon D. “the Hiff” Hiffelbottom, “We realized that, due to the fact that Americans have become such worthless pieces of shit with so much free time on their hands that they will actually sit down and watch a show about, of all things, spruced-up and pimped-out corn silos, we decided to re-air all seven seasons of Corn-Cribs.”
According to unconfirmed reports, upon hearing the news, America's more upstanding and self-respecting citizens wept openly, with shame.
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