In the wake of his first ever solo spring-cleaning (during which, however, according to a subsequent eye-witness report, only a few of the dirtiest windows were washed, and only some portions of the wall-to-wall carpet received a merely mediocre vacuuming), Darius Gordon Crickleburg, 34, of Waynesboro, NC, finished feeding the spring-loaded electrical cord into the built-in storage compartment of his brand new vacuum-cleaner, and stepped back to view his handiwork. “The rains are gone, now, and I can see clearly. It all seems so much nicer – all the plants look so much more green, and my house is no longer a total pigsty. I believe I shall write a song about this monumental event in my life,” Mr. Crickleburg said as he settled into the reclining lounge chair he had moved to the garage some years earlier, during the last, then-wife-assisted spring cleaning, and never retrieved. “Look at that,” he continued, pointing out of the window at a house across the street. “I can see Mrs. Chuhsin-Handell's house very well, and all of her begonias look so colorful, and pretty.”
Before said monumental event, very little light penetrated into the dark, dank recesses of Darius' double-wide home, which, since his wife left him last fall for a female shipping clerk from Spokane, has been but infrequently kept up. “The last six months, since Rachel left, have been rough, but the dark clouds seem to be gone, and I don't feel quite as down on my luck as I did before. It looks to be a bright day, outside, a day of abundant sunshine. It is as if I can see all obstructions, all obstacles, that stand in my path, and I can not only see them, I know how to surmount them – what to do about them.” Things continued to look up, and to run smoothly throughout the day, until sunset, however, when Mr. Crickleburg purchased a case of beer from the corner store, and fell to drinking.
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