transgender soldiers wanted

The all-volunteer armed forces of Grigovia (www.gov.ggv/fightforfreedom) invite any Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, or Curious (LGBTQC) people to join in our mission of making the world a safer place for all peace-loving individuals. We firmly believe that every living person has both great inherent value and a vital role to play in combating the base scourges of quasi-religious terrorism, imperialist warmongering, as well as terrorist and racist tactics and rhetoric employed increasingly by various world leaders.

Gender-reassignment and other services tailored to the needs of LGBTQC soldiers will be provided without question or hesitation. As per a recent study by Rand, transgender warriors make any fighting force better. Shame on anyone who says differently.

Pay no mind to persons angry and full of hatred. All are welcome in Grigovia, where love and freedom abound.

americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan

Ynki emigrants arrive

The first wave of persons fleeing political and societal oppression in America has arrived at Krukov International Airport outside cosmopolitan Grig. Seeking asylum from the heavy-handed and anti-democratic policies being enacted by the administration of D.J. Trump, the former Ynki gladly relinquished their citizenship and took up oaths of freedom and responsibility under as well as loyalty to the Glorious Republic of Grigovia.

With cries of joy in their throats, the new citizens immediately moved into the well-maintained communal housing option of their choice. After a stroll in one of downtown Grig’s many public parks, they enrolled in classes designed to help them understand their latent artistic or creative potential and harness it to make their world a better, brighter, and more beautiful place.

When asked what they missed most about America, the emigrants responded, overwhelmingly, with: “Little.”

americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan

dark & discreet

To fascist drumbeaters like Trump and Le Pen: we’re not at all surprised to see you again. Not more than a century back in the past was when we encountered and beat you at last but you showed up here in our calm midst again with confidence saying who’s foe and who’s friend. The masses you fool with a message of hate and promises to make brown folks emigrate but once wed with power corrupted you’ll be will drench in blood these shores from sea back to sea. Now fear stokes a fire that only is fed by listening to voices up in the head that champion anger and champion spite corrupting the ego both morning and night. This will not end pretty this will not end well and soon we’ll be swept into a right-wing hell where anyone who dares to strike or speak up will quick taste the heel of a jack-booted thug. With basic rhetoric and too-simple terms these wax-paper leaders the principles spurn upon which their nations long functioned and turned aloof to the lessons that history learns. So up now in unison we can defeat most any opponent or foe we might meet with methods bold brash brazen dark & discreet be it through the wires or out in the street. All antifa red-shirts anarchists and such who value their freedoms and value them much: let’s shake off the shackles of madness and hate and that without dally lest we be too late.

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

on Grigovian features

The Glorious Republic of Grigovia is a landlocked nation in Central Asia. Its neighbors are Iran, Turkmenistan, and Afghanistan. Roughly 200 kilometers north-to-south and 160 kilometers east-to-west, the first known reference to Grigovia is in 'The Histories,' by Herodotus. Marshy bogs lie to the south and west of its capital, Grig (population 120 thousand), which sits on an elevated plateau in the southern foothills of the Yiptlong Massif mountain chain. The Yiptlong has significant deposits of iron-ore, coal, and sulfur that have been mined for centuries. West of the capital is Pyltagrad, a culture-rich city of roughly 50 thousand inhabitants. East of the capital is the Great Dune Sea, an arid former lake bed; Gar Nuuzsch, population 60 thousand, is the primary city in the east – its patroness is Nuuzstathena, goddess of war, technology, and guile. Other deities include Ganestrix (an ant-headed goddess of travel and good fortune) and Oumbast (goddess of cats as well as gracefulness in the face of overwhelming odds). The main city in the south is Pryaghdoyest, an export-oriented manufacturing hub, population 75 thousand; north-east of Pryaghdoyest is an arid plateau with significant deposits of rare-earth metals. Tens of thousands of Yaelong tribes-people call this nation home, living scattered about, primarily in the Yiptlong Massif. Known for their fierce independence and fervent defense of the high plateaus, the Yaelong were feared by Alexander the Great as well as subsequent invaders. A parliamentary democracy with strong socialist traditions, the Grigovian royal family abdicated in the early 20th Century in a sign of respect for the nation's growing anarcho-communist movement, which is still strong today. Group workshops and livings spaces known as 'su'uvyiets' provide training and support in a wide variety of crafts, trades, and skills, each 'su'uvyiets' operating under the loose umbrella of its mother organization. Never in its history has Grigovia been fully conquered (it was the only fully autonomous republic of the USSR), largely because of an extensive tunnel system that runs under almost all of Grig. Most of these tunnels are well maintained and still in use as winter shelters, manufacturing areas, and weapons stores. Robotic and autonomous buses serve outlying villages, and the capital features a dense network of public transportation systems – trams, trolleys, and 4 subway lines. Renewable energy powers roughly 60% of electricity needs, and plans call for the nation to receive nearly all of its power from wind and geothermal sources by the year 2030. Modern Grigovia traces its founding to the semi-mythical Krukuv, a former monk who settled there sometime during the 9th Century C.E., digging a series of deep and sturdy tunnels (for to store his beloved tubers) and taking a Yaelong bride as his mate. Popular recreational activities include hiking, cycling, folk festivals, story-telling competitions, martial arts training, and winter sports; camping is permitted on all public and many private lands. Famous for its tendency to warmly receive immigrants fleeing war and economic turmoil, the population of Grigovia has increased by nearly 9 percent in recent years due to the ongoing conflict in Syria. With strong banking houses, a robust services sector, and a variety of cottage industries that make everything from coo-coo clocks to firearms, the Grigovian economy has proven all but immune to international market volatility, being able to quickly retool according to shifting demand while keeping unemployment at well under 3% for a population nearing 400 thousand souls. In the decades since the Rus and Ynki invasions of Afghanistan, trade with Iran has increased tenfold, primarily heavy machinery from Grigovia's well-developed manufacturing sector. An outspoken critic of Ynki involvement in regional conflicts across the globe, the Glorious Republic of Grigovia has repeatedly demanded that the various peoples of the world enjoy the right to determine their own path in life for themselves, free of foreign intervention. For more on all things Grigovia, please visit www.welcomehome.ggv.

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

America doffs Liberty

Citing its ongoing disregard for the Constitutional directive to secure the Blessings of Liberty for millions of its citizens, the federal government of the United States of America officially abandoned its stated purpose. “We recognize that spying on the People without securing warrants for each intrusion, and denying Americans the right to choose what substances to put into their bodies, has revealed to a candid world that we've given up on the founding principles,” said president Barack Obama at a Rose Garden press conference. “Therefore, we'll continue the process of distancing ourselves from any and all mentions or references to Liberty, a process that started with the sale of the statue known as Liberty Enlightening the World to Grigovia, a Central Asian nation.” Having written the following: in subsection 1 of section D of the Student Guide Introduction of AFSS 0910, a training document, that the persons who founded the American republic were violent extremists; and in subsection 1 of section E of the same document, that speaking about individual liberties, states' rights, and ways to make the world a better place are examples of extremist behavior; the Department of the Army of the United States ordered a redesign of its official crest. “We reject the notion that freedom is an essential component of American society, and are therefore removing the Phyrgian, or Liberty cap, from our emblem,” said John McHugh, current Secretary of the Army. “Henceforth, on the seal, the tip of the sword will be fully visible, to symbolize our unfailing dedication to striking first without regard to consequence.” Plans announced today also call for the removal of artwork depicting the Phyrgian cap from the Senate, and elsewhere. If the government continues its destruction of civil rights, watchdog groups expect incidents of civil unrest to increase as Americans begin to realize the full extent of federal skullduggery.

mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥

Grigovia recognizes independence

As a sign of solidarity to all peoples who struggle for their freedom, the Glorious Republic of Grigovia (GROG) officially recognized their independence. In a declaration, GROG first defined the concepts of both independence and Liberty before listing the peoples whose efforts it supports. These include the Tamil of Sri Lanka, the West Papuan tribes of Indonesia, the Lakota Sioux of the United States of America, the Tuareg of nations across the Sahara, the Mapuche of South America, the Kurdish minorities in Central Asia, and the Palestinians in the Middle East.

“We fought the Soviet empire for many years, pouring out blood, sweat, and tears in our efforts to free ourselves from the yoke of oppression,” said Djaindoglast Bilyend, deputy head of the Grigovian foreign ministry. “As a result, we shall never stop fighting for Liberty, justice, and independence, or for the right to choose our own course in this world – for the fleeting beauty of self-determination. Now, we hold aloft the torch of Progress as a beacon to downtrodden peoples the world over by which they might find their way back out of slavery.”

Grigovia held a summit for leaders of the aforementioned independence movements in the fortified halls of the HM Queen Pylta Hotel. After a sensible meal of czabtyip wine and tchuirff – a local pastry made of acorn flower, goose meat, and sharp curry – prime minister Dr. Alaia Estoyast pledged financial and material support to all peoples who yearn to be free. “We weep for your fallen, we bleed when you are cut, and we stand alongside you every step of the way,” she said, to thunderous applause. GROG, a small, landlocked nation, is readying teams of advisers that it will send to meet with and train the various militias, as well as any government-in-exile, but only by request, never forcefully. Progress has already been made: thanks in part to Grigovian efforts, the United Nations recently granted the Palestinians observer state status, much to the consternation of the freedom-hating governments of America and Israel.

(For a list of downtrodden peoples, please visit http://ministry.foreign.gv/independence.)




mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥

on Grigovian anarchy

Much has been said of late in the international press about the merits of anarchy and the benefits that this complete and total liberty bestow upon all persons lucky enough to have lived it even once. The citizens of the United States of America gave up their liberty in the wake of the 11 September 2001 attacks for the fleeting assurance of safety, thereby proving themselves worthy of neither liberty or safety; luminaries from various universities and myriad walks of life point to the months and years following those tragic events as the period during which the last vestiges of Ynki anarchy were bashed to bits by the batons of terrorism-addled police officers, when they were steamrolled to nothingness under the massive weight of rapidly expanding federal power.

Compare the sad state of liberty in the western hemisphere to the abounding freedom and joyous prosperity in which the people of the Glorious Republic of Grigovia wallow. Here, in modern, high-speed Grig, the nation's capital, people of all ages do as they please to their own bodies and minds so long as they are not directly violating their neighbors' person, freedom, or property; here, from the smallest cottage sitting in the highest high-valley village to the largest apartment complex set firmly into the low granite cliffs of the rushing Yalung river, people leave their doors unlocked in the knowledge that true lovers of liberty would never dare to enter the home of another with sinister purpose, take things without paying for them, or do anything to harm his meager belongings or physical health without written and notarized permission. This notion of liberty-through-responsibility does not just govern interpersonal relationships: it is alive and well also in business, where environmental pollution is virtually nonexistent, contracts are rarely broken, people live up to their word, and a company in a position to monopolize a market will choose rather to encourage competition than to face the wrath of an army of babushkas willing to boycott anyone trying to make them pay a single kopper more than something is worth.

The roots of total liberty extend deep into Grigovia's past. Beginning with the nation's spiritual founder, Krikuv the Watchful, who came to the area to escape European plague-rats and to breed tubers for his mythical green-tuber borscht (the recipe for which is said to have survived to his day in the spicy concoction of the late Queen Pylta the Terrible), nearly all subsequent leaders – with the exception of a few puppet-kings installed by meddlesome proto-Russian czars in the 19th century – have turned away supplicating emissaries and invading armies alike, in no small part because of a rabidly-allegiant populace and the freedom and democracy it has enjoyed since wise Krikuv first started applying the lessons he'd gleaned from his vast collection of old Greek and Latin texts. Grigovia's modern anarchy stems from King Hyu-Yennd Yündlennd, who abdicated in 1912 after attending a series of lectures held in Vienna by famed Hungarian anarchist Dr. Wilhelm D. Tomaz; it continues to this day in the likes of Erya Rovend – who recently broke Grigovia's boycott of the United Nations in order to tell the U.S.A. to, “Kindly go fuck yourselves and leave my fellow Grigovians alone” – and in the smiles and shouts of legions of school children who begin in preschool to learn the basics of close-quarters-combat instead of being allowed to run around mindless during their lunch break. The Glorious Republic of Grigovia proves every day that anarchy foments liberty, and her people prove that liberty is the wellspring of Happiness, a phoenix rising from the ashes of fear and oppression. Praise be to anarchy, and to old man Krikuv.

© mentiri factorem fecit (場黑麥)

student uprising in Grigovia

From the capitol city of Grig to even the smallest of hamlets, students enrolled in the Grigovian public schooling systems – some of them merely children – took part over the weekend in often violent protests to draw attention to a number of different issues. While some rose up out of solidarity with Syrian rebels fighting the regime of Bashar al-Assad, others took to the streets to voice their dissatisfaction with capitalism and such poverty and income-inequality as is associated with this unjust and outdated economic system. The youngest protesters, however – they who are most prone to sudden, brutal violence – actively fought various police and even military forces to bring attention to the rising cost of candy and sweets, whose prices have skyrocketed following a local outbreak of the virus nonspecificus willibrandtis, which has destroyed much of the country's reserves of sugar-beets, ruining most of its sugar-beet-derived sweeteners, sweet-makers, starches, and similar smack-a-licious substances.

In a statement posted to youtube and disseminated by hand-printed fliers, the students of Grigovia's vocational-technical colleges declared their allegiance to all other vo-tech student movements around the world, especially to those in Thailand. “We – and our brothers and sisters around the world, especially in Thailand – are dedicated to the free speech, free assembly, and to the propagation and free expression of the various trades, among them woodworking, electrical wiring, and gun-smithing; any government organization that opposes our right to unionize shall not stand long.” Long columns of vo-tech students – recognizable by their red and gold shoulder-patches – marched through the empty streets, or drilled in abandoned lots.

Said Noviembr Chu-Yendt, age 7, from the northern village of Vonya Yellenda, who had traveled to Grig by train, alone, in order to take part in these historic uprisings, “Last night, I ran into some school-mates who were going to join a street-march to highlight the degradation of our national park-lands by foreign companies mining there for rare-earth-metals, but, afterward, we became separated, and so I had to spend the night in a park, which was no so bad, because I brought my father's Soviet-Afghani-War-era Makarov pistol, and all these knives.” The boy opened his knapsack, allowing us a glimpse at what appeared to be a collection of trench-knives dating back to the First World War.

Later that day, we spoke to unemployed former factory forewoman Hana Blastisyennd, a 67-year-old grandmother whom we found manning a street-barricade in front of a Home for Orphans of the Israeli Occupation of Palestine (HOIOP). “When I heard rumors that some teenagers were looting the orphanage of its silver, I erected this barricade to keep the police away while my grandsons went inside to re-capture the stolen goods and to give those damn teenagers a good spanking,” Mrs. Blastisyennd said before stooping to pick up a hissing tear-gas canister, which she promptly threw back into the midst of an approaching phalanx of riot-gear-clad policemen. Pulling an AK-74 assault rifle with a telescoping stock from a floral-print carpetbag resting by her feet, the otherwise-unassuming old woman fired it into the upper windows of a building a few blocks away. Her well-placed shots caused two men who had been hiding there to flee, carrying what appeared to be scope-equipped rifle and a pair of binoculars away with them. Furthermore, the phalanx of cops – which had approached to within a few scant meters of her position – drew back in haste, reforming behind the thick stone walls of a nearby auxiliary citizen's armory. “On any other day, if these policemen had asked nicely to make sure everything was OK within the HOIOP, I would have let them pass in peace, but these pig-dogs are not acting like gentlemen, so fuck them – fuck the police.”

Analysts except the protests to spread before they peter out, hopefully sometime around the harvest festival, in late November.

場黑麥 mentiri manufactorem fecit

on the Department for Securing the Blessings of Liberty

Attention, fellow citizens of America: our Liberty is assured. Thanks to the recent establishment of the Department for the Securing of the Blessings of Liberty (or DSBL, which was just this past Thursday morning founded by President Barack Obama while he was having his morning tea), anything and everything that you do that does not demonstrably infringe upon or otherwise violate the Life, Liberty, or Property of any other citizen is a federally protected act. Smoke that sweet, sweet reefer in your own front yard! Get that face tattoo you have always wanted! Lose that belly fat you put on three Thanksgivings ago! Ever since our fine president – he who has recently come out in support of officially protecting same-sex unions and granting homosexual Americans the rights and privileges until now only afforded to different-sex, heterosexual American couples – ever since he finally got around to actually reading the preamble to the Constitution of the United States of America, which states that the primary purpose of our nation's federal government is to “secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity,” ever since then, we lowly, downtrodden masses have been finally seeing a few, tender rays of hope in our long yet largely bloodless struggle for individual freedom.

For too long did the police forces of this land punish us for consuming drugs other than alcohol, nicotine, and caffeine; for too long did these selfsame oppressors perform unwarranted searches of our homes and vehicles, in direct violation of the Fourth amendment to the Constitution; for too long did we suffer under a system that punished us for affecting hairstyles other than those approved by state and local censors; for too long did we watch as our teenage countrymen were imprisoned for possessing of small amounts of their drugs of choice. Now is the time, friends, when we might all inhale deeply of the blessed winds of change, when we might fill our lungs of the cleansing breath of Liberty; now is the time that we Americans might enjoy actual, unconstrained freedom.

Not only shall this newest federal Department defend aggressively – in court – the individual's right to do whatever she might please to do to her own body, mind, skin, hair, or clothing: it is spit-polishing rigorously trained and tirelessly educated legions of Enforcers of Liberty's Blessings, or ELB, men and women who have dedicated their Lives, their Fortunes, and their sacred Honor to protecting the People from the last, clinging remnants of this nation's all-too-recent tyrannical and oppressive past. Is a SWAT team trying to enter your home unannounced? Call the ELB. Is the Drug Enforcement Agency on your ass about that grow-room in the attic? Call the ELB. Are you being hounded by the Department of Homeland Security for exercising your First Amendment right to free speech? Call the ELB. Finally, dear friends, good fellow upstanding American patriots, finally, we can rest assured that the federal, state, and local governments exist to serve us in any possible way they can serve us instead of doing nearly everything in their power to keep us in a state of fear-addled submission to the fickle whims of Johnny Law. So contact the ELB at 1.877.555.GFYS (1.877.555.4397) or visit their website at www.enforcersoflibertysblessings.gov, today!

p.s. This article is a hoax: the federal government does not secure the Blessings of Liberty for the average American, neither our President nor our Congresspersons or Senators aim to enforce the Constitution's preamble, the Constitutional protections do not exist, and you are not free to do with your body or your mind as you see best fit to do, so keep your head on a swivel, a song in your heart, and the Bill of Rights clenched tightly in your white-knuckled fist. Mahalo.

場黑麥 mentiri factorem fecit

North Carolina announces Fag-Out 2012

Come one, come all, to Fag-Out 2012, and help us get the Fags Out! Billed as America's largest concerted action against homosexuality, lesbianism, and freedom since that cunt Liberty first sneezed, this will be the righteous killing-spree demanded by our bloodthirsty God. We shall drive the queers, the screwballs, and the homos out of this state – and out of the whole goshdurn South – first by casually banning gay marriage, then by passing and enforcing laws based on those found in Leviticus 20 of the Old Testament. As per the explicit, clearly-worded instructions of terrible god YHWH, it is the duty of every Christian to kill, murder, put to death, and otherwise end the life of any man sleeping with another man as he would sleep with a woman. Fuck the teachings of Jesus Christ, who never once said that marriage Had To Be between a man and a woman, or, who, for that matter, never actually spoke of homosexuality as evil, or bad – we are going old-school on this one, unleashing the fury of that most jealous and spiteful of gods, Jehovah, with a fierce vengeance and unrelenting fury not seen since He wreaked His blessed genocide upon the inhabitants of Jericho.

It was not enough for us to call homosexuality a sin; we were not satisfied with ridiculing and occasionally beating on those damn dirty fairies; our efforts to marginalize these our honest, upright fellow Americans in other, less obvious ways, simply did not go far enough; no, we had to pass laws to make them officially and legally Worth Less Than Everyone Else (and lacking of equal treatment under the law). And now, we finally get to start killing them. Please, concerned citizens of North Carolina, denizens of the Southern states, please, if you are not a filthy fucking faggot, please mark your front door with three large black X's, and do not interfere if you see us dragging your lesbian neighbors out of their homes by the hair and hacking their heads off in the streets using common digging shovels. Please, stay inside, watch your TV, have another snack, and don't forget to send your checks to support the blessed, righteous ministry of your favorite televangelist. If you want to get involved, if you want to bludgeon a stinking homo to death without worrying about others mistaking it for a human being, go on down and get deputized at your local police station, thus joining our honorable ranks and perpetuating the proud tradition of the Leviticus 20 Liberator (c), such honest, caring people as have been “liberating the souls of gays to Hell since well before the birth of Christ."

So join us for Fag-Out 2012: put a shine on your killin' boots, a razor's edge on that pig-sticker, and leave your ability to reason and any remaining shred of common sense at home, 'cuz we got more Freedoms to rescind, and a whole bunch of pillow-biters and rug-munchers to put out of their miserable fucking lives.

場黑麥 mentiri factorem fecit

New Hampshire secedes

Last Tuesday, in Concord, the capital of this now-sovereign nation of 1.3 million individuals, the decision was announced to bow quietly out of the Union of American States. Initiated by a referendum in which 98% of the voting population supported secession (and inspired by New Hampshire's history as the first post-colonial sovereign nation in the Americas), the move comes at a time of increasing national and international doubt over the feasibility of the Union in general. During a brief ceremony completely devoid of fanfare, bluster, or celebration, the governor for the state, a Dr. Florentine B. Mistleblanch, declared, “For too long have we citizens of the once fine state of New Hampshire – and the now fine nation of Nu-Hemp-Sure – merely payed lip service to our motto, 'Live free or die.' Since all persons who are alive at this time will soon be totally and completely free of any and all outside interference, this shall cease to be just a slogan, and it will become a reality.”

Polls conducted in the wake of last fall's referendum showed that individuals living in this ex-state wanted nothing to do with such other states as North Carolina, a state that is currently in the process of passing laws to codify marriage according to hard-line Christian rules. (As of press-time, Christianity is merely one religion among many thousands of different religions practiced in America; it is neither the nation's founding religion nor its dominant religion.) Said governor Mistleblanch while unlocking her bicycle from a nearby stop-sign, “We don't want to be lumped together in the minds of the world with leaders seeking to overthrow reason; we do not care to associate with madmen looking to rule according to one – and only one – religious codex; and we want nothing to do with lunatics who abolish the principles of liberty and democracy by installing and maintaining theocratic rule. We invite the North Carolinians to do as they please, but we proud denizens of the Hempen-Shire want nothing to do with such crazy, freedom-destroying schemes.”

Nu-Hemp-Sure is the world's newest nation, and the fourth – following Canada, Puerto Rico, and Panama – to officially renounce, rescind, or refuse membership in the crumbling, tyrannical, and politically-corrupted collection of – formerly United – States of America.

場黑麥 mentiri factorem fecit

on the pagan power of capitalism

  Capitalism, with all its evil and all its ills, has had one definitely positive affect on American society: to rid our pagan holidays of religious contamination. Neither morality nor meaning matter in the eyes of capitalism – the only thing that matters is making more money. For example: capitalism has freed the ancient holiday of goddess Eostre from the clutches of biblical oppression. As a holiday that once celebrated that goddess who makes women fertile (and the land grow green again), the festival we now know as Easter was high-jacked by religious forces and co-opted for their own narrow uses. In the last half century, however, the ever-grasping paws of capitalistic greed have freed Easter from the Shackles of Scripture, so that we once again celebrate lustful procreation (symbolized by the rabbit) and the return of the teeming things (symbolized by daffodils and other such flowers).

  Similarly, the holiday of the winter solstice, an occasion that has been marked throughout the centuries with lights mounted on pine trees. This holiday was taken hostage by the forces of Christianity, forces that bastardized the logical marking of the passage of time and tied it to the fictitious birth of a fictitious god in a land far removed in time and space. The passing of the winter solstice was only recently liberated by the uncaring hand of capitalism – an emphasis on Santa Claus and the profuse giving of gifts has replaced, thankfully, the (biblically) unspecified day upon which a young lady gave birth, in a (biblically) unspecified structure, in an (biblically) unspecified place, to a male child. (The story of Jesus is a precise retelling of the story of Horus, an Egyptian god born of a virgin who died only to arise from death after three days.) Now, instead of worshiping some stagnant and foreign godhead, during the darkest days of winter we celebrate the coming-together of loved-ones, and shower them with presents as a sign of our affection. Gone are the days of the churchly mandate – capitalism has finally, and for good, removed Christ from Christmas.

  And, most importantly (to me, at least), the uncaring and voracious greed of capitalism has removed any shred of religiosity from the delightfully pagan holiday of Halloween. What started as a heathen ritual to mark the beginning of winter was commandeered by Christian forces, who turned it into All Saint's Day, on which day only the dead of that religion were praised (in effigy). After centuries of suffering under the cruel, stifling blanket of this biblical slavery, Halloween has been dragged from its prison by the ever-hungry maw of monster-capitalism. Gone are the days when Americans celebrated the Christian dead – arrived are the days when we Americans celebrate inventiveness and the ability to take a good scaring, when we shower upon the children of the land many sweet gifts, when we might, for one short night, become someone other than our boring normal selves. (The proliferation of Halloween as a national holiday was made possible by profit-hungry corporations that recognized in it a way to sell cheap, Chinese-made costumes.)

  While I generally abhor capitalism for its tendency to make only a small portion of the American people rich, I celebrate it now for freeing our shared and common history from the clutches of religious oppression. We can ill afford to live according to the rules of a lost tribe of desert people, so it is fitting that the forces of our chosen economic model are wiping our history clean of religious contamination.

  The next time you are carving up a lamb on Easter, remember horny old Eostre, and give your spouse a long, lingering kiss. When you find yourself stringing lights on a tree, remember to go outside and enjoy the longest night of the year. As you are putting the finishing touches on an elaborate and dazzling costume, remember that its job is to scare away the sickness-bringing forces of the impending long cold darkness. Thanks to the religious impartiality of our capitalistic system, you can enjoy these events without being forced to fear the wrath of some jealous, vengeful godhead.

  America is not a Christian nation, nor was it in any way founded upon the Christian faith. Neither easter nor the winter solstice were originally Christian holidays – these pagan rituals were commandeered in order to facilitate the spread of one set of religious teachings. Just how non-Christian is America? We honor the Roman god Saturn on Saturday. On Wednesday, we remember the Norse god Wotan, and on Thursday, his son-brother Thor. In the harbor of New York there stands a large statue of the Roman goddess Libertas (whom we call Lady Liberty), a goddess who holds in one hand the Torch of Progress, in the other a representation of our most treasured of documents, the Declaration of Independence.

  Everywhere in this great land we witness the chaotic jumble of different faiths and systems of belief, all tumbling together and jostling to retain the slightest shred of relevancy. May the uncaring grasp of our institutionalized greed continue to keep American society free of religious one-mindedness! Thank you, lustful and rapacious Capitalism, you old sport, for doing you part to keep America jumbled, confused, and oppression-free.

Spes Mea In Ratio Est - 場黑麥 John Paul Roggenkamp

on safety vs. liberty

  In America today, we face a simple choice: whether to fight for our freedom or to continue on our present course, and sacrifice freedom to the hollow lie of false security. (By false security I mean the efforts by our government to control the lives the American People by restricting what they do to their bodies, and by punishing them for pursuing Happiness or for exercising Liberty, efforts that mock and destroy the tender concept of freedom by trying to make it one-size-fits-all, when it is a messy, individualistic affair too easily ruined through external tampering.)

  We, the People of America, are not a free people. We have allowed our freedom to be taken from us. We have allowed, for forty (40) years, the Controlled Substances Act to destroy our freedom to choose what to do with our own bodies (thankfully, it is not yet illegal to get tattooed, or to undergo elective surgery, two activities that alter the body just as much as recreational drug use). We have allowed the Patriot Act to do violence to the Constitution, and to rob us of our once inalienable protections. We have allowed our police to focus on sidestepping our Constitutional protections (by letting them brow-beat citizens into body and property searches, and by letting the police lie, cheat, and steal in order to bust criminals engaged in non-violent “crimes”), a focus that negates police effectiveness and that forces them daily to violate their most sacred of oaths, as they have all sworn to defend and uphold the Constitution of the United States of America. (A police officer actively involved in persuading a citizen to give up his Constitutional protections is actively involved in destroying the U.S. Constitution.)

  We have allowed all these things to happen because we have allowed Fear into our hearts. When, in the early Seventies, we saw our crime rates rise, we blamed it solely on drug-use, and banned the use of certain substances (thereby robbing the American people of the right to dispose of their bodies any way they wanted), while not banning certain other substances – alcohol and cigarettes – substances that have maimed and murdered millions of America's sons and daughters. When faced with the consequences of our failed foreign policies (09SEP2011), we gave up our freedom, preferring to have our liberty violated by persons within our own government rather than to have it violated from without. For these reasons, we are no longer a free People. For these reasons, ours is no longer the land of the free (for Liberty knows few personal restrictions), nor is it the home of the brave (for the pure of heart rejoice always in their impending death: they fear only cowardice).

  In concurrence with the erosion of America's common dream, we have seen the erosion of our most basic and fundamental concepts. Our patriotism has been supplanted by conspicuous flag-waving and banner-hanging (very often in blatant violation of the code governing the treatment of the flag of the United States of America). Our secular morality has been high-jacked by the forces of religious conservatism (to become xenophobic proxy-racism). Gone are the days when we were told to fear nothing but fear itself: now we are told exactly what to fear, and that we have a whole lot more to fear that we ever thought we were capable of being afraid of. Our once-great traditions of story-telling and gung-ho, can-do enthusiasm have been tongue-lashed out of us by our corporate overlords; they have shriveled to almost nothing before the inexorable, terrible beauty of television.

  Brothers. Sisters. Fellow New Guards for our future Security. Now is the time for your voices to be heard. Now is the time to recover for our Posterity the promise of this land, and to free our constitutionally-guaranteed Liberty from the shackles of repression, religion, and fear.

  Freedom, much like democracy, is always messy: its expression will hurt someone else's feelings, every time. But as much sacrifice as freedom demands, it repays tenfold with deep, abiding confidence, with true and tender self-respect. So take a chance, and take your opinions known: it does not matter what you have to say, merely that you are saying it out loud, in full accordance with your Constitutional rights.

  It is easier, far easier, not to fight for the Blessings of Liberty that the Constitution guarantees: all we have to do is continue to do nothing, to let the enemies of freedom take from us the few liberties we have left.

  This cannot come to pass. Stand up. Speak out. Challenge everything.

p.s. congratulations to the United States Marine Corps for two hundred thirty six years of defending the liberty of the American people from all enemies, foreign and domestic.

Libertatem Defendendam - 場黑麥 John Paul Roggenkamp

counter-protest | assault on the square

  In keeping with the horrendous pagan tradition known as Halloween, today I dressed up in a fine cashmere loden (cloak) and a nice, pointy felt hat, to keep me warm out on the square in downtown Hanover, Pennsylvania. My new sign for this heathen holiday: WHAT'S NEXT? PRAY TO END HALLOWEEN opposite KEEP DEMOCRACY MESSY.

  In addition to the usual jeers, middle fingers, and cautious votes of confidence, I was approached by a skinny, middle-aged man who claimed that freedom of religion means freedom to worship Jesus, not freedom to worship any other god (Satan). I told him he was wrong about that, and about his claims that the Quakers founded America (we were founded in 1776, by the 2^nd Constitutional Congress), whereupon he battered me (by tapping me on the arm with his cheap little fake-leather notebook). Immediately I sprung back out of his reach, lambasting him for violating my person and saying, “If you assault me again, sir, I will defend myself.” He laughed and scoffed and looked around to see if anyone else had witnessed his foul act, mocking my anger at having been touched without consent. He claimed to have at one time been a Marine, and said that he was about to beat the crap out of me.

  He called me a pussy (I agreed), and a faggot (I agreed), and I invited him to kindly go fuck himself somewhere else, but he stuck around to make fun of me and to try to block my sign with his body. “Why are you assaulting their freedom of speech?” he asked, to which I responded that I was doing nothing of the sort, rather that I was defending the rights of the women of America to decide for themselves what to do with their bodies, and with things growing inside their bodies. When he would not budge, I started singing my nonsense song about vaginas and wombs and keeping your business out of them, which sent him skittering across the road to safety.

  He talked to each of the anti-choice protester in turn (no doubt recounting his terrifying encounter), and when a police cruiser drove past (they drive past every few minutes now) he pointed at the officer and yelled at me to report his criminal conduct. I responded by smiling and nodding my head at him, so he gave me the finger, and fled into a nearby shoe store.

  With my new signs – WHAT'S NEXT? PRAY TO END FREE SPEECH and WHAT'S NEXT? PRAY TO END HALLOWEEN – I think I have been getting my message through to the disinterested drivers who pretend to ignore the sign-war on their square. The gist of my struggle is this: if we let the forces of moralistic and religious conservatism destroy one of our freedoms (that being liberty, or the ability to decide what to do with your own body), all other freedoms (speech, assembly, religion, &c) will be taken from us as well.

  Hence my other new sign, KEEP DEMOCRACY MESSY, to remind the People that counter-protest is vital to the healthy functioning of a true democracy in that, as an organic reaction to a well-organized and well-funded juggernaut of religious oppression (40 days for life), it provides a plurality of opinion.

  Stand up. Speak out. Challenge everything.

Ultima Ratio Regum - 場黑麥 John Paul Roggenkamp

American theocracy - 2

  In my writing, I am often more critical of Christianity than of the hundreds of other religions practiced every day in these United States. America is not a Christian nation, nor is it Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, or Taoist. This nation was not founded upon the principles of any one belief system. Therefore, we as a nation cannot allow one religious group, under any circumstance, to incorporate their beliefs into the laws of our land; we can ill afford to take sitting down the intractable religious rhetoric spewing from the orifices of our public figures.

  Someone asked me recently: "Why are you so critical of Christianity? No one will defend Christianity, so you are better off taking Islam to task – that will drum up more controversy, boosting readership numbers on your blog in the process."

  I am loathe to attack Muslims because: they are not attempting to define legally the parameters of marriage according to their own religious texts; they are not attempting to restrict legally, again according to their religious texts, a woman's inalienable right to do to her property, her body, whatever she pleases (such as aborting a fetus), a right granted to all women under the 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution; they are not attempting to claim for their own the reference in the Declaration of Independence to Nature's God, a moniker broad enough to encompass, in the spirit of true egalitarianism, the deities of all systems of belief, not a direct reference to one god in particular. (If, instead of Nature's God the Declaration read Yahweh, I would concede the field to the Christians, but it does not, so I will stand my ground.)

  In comparison, Christians are laboring to define marriage according to the books they consider holy (see here); they are trying to take from the women of this land the right to their bodies, their property, by making abortions illegal (see here); they claim that Nature's God refers to Yahweh, the god of the Christians, the father of Jesus (see here), when Nature's God could refer to anything from the Universe, to Chaos, to the Great Spirit once known to the Indian tribes.

  We hear in the news about the dangers of an Islamic caliphate arising in the Middle East. (For one example of this, see here.) Here in America, we face the dangers of an impending Christianity-based theocracy. Any system of government that rules according to the code of a specific religion will, invariably, subjugate those people living under it to its own laws; it will stifle freedom of expression by striking fear in the hearts of honest but non-believing citizens; it will, when challenged, resort to barbaric and unreasonable action to silence dissent; and, most crucially, it will render unattainable to ourselves and to our Posterity the Blessings of Liberty by coercing us into recognizing and worshiping a suicidal zombie who, being “one with god,” as the “holy spirit” impregnated his own mother.

  For an example of the horrors inherent to religious rule, look into life in Afghanistan under the Taliban. We, as a nation, must fight the efforts currently under way to further codify into law one religious doctrine in particular, no matter how long that religion has been practiced here or what percentage of the population holds it to be true. We cannot allow our fundamental principles to be made subservient to the beliefs of one specific religion: our republic, our rights, our liberty, and our lives are at risk. American flexibility and inventiveness will suffer under religious rule – these characteristics that we hold so highly will wither and die if confined in a closed and unchanging framework based on the writings of a desert people who lived in the Iron Age many thousands of years ago. To do any of these things would be to shatter fully our frail democracy, our tenuous republic.

  Future generations will cheer our efforts at maintaining a republic dedicated to the principles upon which it was founded, those being the general Welfare, a more perfect Union, the establishment of Justice, the domestic Tranquility, the common defence, and the Blessings of Liberty. If our nation were to fall under the sway of the religious zealot, even a supposedly pious zealot possessing of convincing fear-mongery, these founding principles would fall prey to the demands of righteous necessity.

  The Christians of America have not been subjected to a long Train of Abuses and Usurpations – thus, they have no Right, no Duty, to throw off such Government and to provide new Guards for their future Security: their communities are not under siege, their places of worship are being built regardless of location, they are not being attacked in taxi cabs, or in the streets. I believe in freedom of religion. I envy the faithful for their unfaltering belief. I support fully the right to pray to the god of your choosing in public or in private. I will not, however, stand idly by as born-again, my-way-or-the-highway, ultra-conservative types vie for this country's highest office with dreams of dominionism dancing in their eyes.

Fight theocracy in the U.S.A. Act now, for the forces of oppression seldom rest.

Ultima Ratio Regum - 場黑麥 John Paul Roggenkamp

on acting like a bitch

The mentality of the average American voter bears certain resemblance to that of a skittish dog rescued from the pound. No matter her physical size or how well she is treated by her adoptive family, the canine will likely never shake the Fear put into her by her abusive former master(s). If when out walking she is spooked, she at times will shake off her leash and bound away at high speed, her face seeming to express an exuberant anxiety. Gracefully eluding all attempts at capture, one of the few options for bringing her back under control is to trick her into entering a vehicle (an action that normally means a trip to the park or some such thing). Once inside the vehicle, she forgets the potential for freedom unbound that lies but a quick tug of the head away, and allows the leash to be bound around her neck once again.
  So it is often with voters in this nation, especially with those who were so scared by the events whose ten year anniversary we will soon mark that they sat quietly by, cowed by Fear-driven propaganda into allowing the Patriot Act to pass unopposed, believing of the lies spewing forth from the suck-holes of power-hungry politicians desperate to expand their base, cheering as we joined the short-list of nations guilty of initiating a war of aggression, re-electing a president who forever tarnished America's long and honorable traditions by valuing the paltry benefits of enhanced interrogation over the unalienable and immutable Rights of the individual.
  A dog raised to fear is unlikely to shake its burden; an individual provided the opportunity to fear will settle gratefully into the welcoming cocoon that fear provides, forever ignorant of the beautiful savagery inherent to mankind, never doubting the actions or the rhetoric of persons claiming to have all the answers, forever trusting any individual who stokes the fires of that fear and who makes skin-deep promises that evaporate immediately upon re-election.
  When the conditions seem right, the voter is likely to break free and to dash about wildly, demanding changes in the status quo through the implementation of untested strategies championed as the solutions to our economic and societal woes, believing with exuberant anxiety in the clever deceptions of the heads shouting on TV, scrambling madly for the first door that promises even the faintest hint of Happiness only to succumb instantly, wild-eyed and out-of-breath, to fear's soothing grip as the shackles of ignorance and repression are calmly reapplied to the cardinal points of the soul.
  It is without question easier for the People to accept the oppressions to which they have become accustomed than for us to venture forth, without a backward glance or the slightest hesitation, in search of new Guards for our future Security. Unlike a tortured and skittish bitch, however, once we have broken free of the chains that have held us in check, we have the capacity to maintain that newfound freedom by consuming news from various unrelated sources, by being wary always of the power of propaganda, and by not forgetting for an instant that, as Frank Herbert said best in his book Dune, “Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.”
  Fear in itself is a sufferable Evil, but fear employed by the highest powers as a tool for controlling the hearts and minds of the People is an Evil that has ceased to be sufferable. Freed from constriction, the mind is capable of feats far-reaching and grand, while a mind hobbled by perpetual paranoia functions similar to that of a broken, groveling beast who understands only the bite of the lash.

Speak freely. Stay vigilant. Spread liberty.

Ultima Ratio Regum - 場黑麥 John Paul Roggenkamp

no American theocracy II

  America is not a Christian nation. Nor is it Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, or Taoist. It is a republic founded on the principles of Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. We, as a nation, cannot allow one religious group, under any circumstance, to incorporate their beliefs into the laws of our land. In this blog, I am more critical of Christianity than any of the hundreds of other religions currently practiced in the United States.
  Someone asked me recently: Why are you so critical of Christianity? No one will defend Christianity, so you are better off taking Islam to task, as that will drum up more controversy.
  To this I say: Muslims are not currently attempting to legally define the parameters of marriage according to their religious texts; they are not attempting to legally restrict, according to their religious texts, a woman's inalienable right to do with her body as she sees best fit (such as aborting a fetus); they are not attempting to define the reference in the Declaration of Independence to Nature's God as a reference to the god they consider supreme above all others, Allah.
  We hear, in the news, about the dangers of an Islamic caliphate arising in the Middle East. (For one example of this, see here.) Any system of governance that rules according to the code of a specific religion will, by necessity, subjugate those people living under its rule to its own laws; it will stifle freedom of expression; it will, when challenged, resort to barbaric and unreasonable action to silence dissent.
  For an example of the horrors of religious rule, look into life in Afghanistan under the Taliban. We in America cannot allow religious doctrine to become the law of the land. We cannot allow our fundamental principles to be made subservient to the beliefs of one specific religion. Our republic, our freedoms, our liberty, our lives, are at risk. American flexibility and inventiveness will suffer under religious rule; ultimately, these characteristics we hold so highly will be extinguished altogether. We owe it to future generations to maintain a country dedicated to the non-religious principles set forth in our founding documents; we cannot allow our republic to be destroyed by religious zealotry.
  No to theocracy in America.

Ultima Ratio Regum.

John Paul Roggenkamp

no American theocracy - seimthingc

A dangerous effort is under way in the States of America - to bind the concept of marriage, and its societal and legal ramifications, to the code of a specific religion. This effort, if allowed to pass, will abolish the separation of church and state as mandated in the Constitution of our American Republic. This effort is an assault on the sullied concept of Liberty in this country. We cannot afford to further bind our fine nation to the concepts of one religion over the many others that here persist. Just as we would not affix to our most sacred documents (and I mean sacred in the strict sense of the sanctity of our concepts of Liberty and Freedom) the codices of the hundreds of other religions enjoyed by Americans today, we should not shackle ourselves to the strictures of just one set, albeit one more prominent and more widely practiced, of religious rules.
For if these efforts were to succeed in binding the concept of marriage to the code of one specific religion, it would logically follow that Yahweh's clearly stated mandates regarding the murder, in front of the father's house, of new wives found deflowered (Deuteronomy  22:20-21 NAB), would circumvent the forces protecting us from wanton and irrational actions, and our code of laws would become subject to the notion of a blood-thirsty and destructive being with a long and well-documented history of genocide and mass murder (see the Midianites, and the denizens of Jericho, Sodom, and Gomorrah).
John Adams said, and his contemporary Congress unanimously agreed, The government of the United States of America is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion (see here). These are more than idle words spoken in private, more than a backroom speech made to moneyed sycophants. These words were part of an official declaration made to a sovereign government in the notion of making peace, an attempt to placate the heated ire of another by stating that we as a nation do not, under any circumstance, under the guise of grounded rationality, assume to pass legislation based on the stultifying affects of a code of ethical behavior that does not propose to make us people intrinsically better attuned to the balance of our desires, our excesses, and our deep knowledge of a unifying and perpetual energy, perhaps called Primal Simplicity, at once terrifying and empowering, that lurks among the passions of our lives, but a code that proposes to bind us in strict adherence to the myriad rules of the Christian Bible, one religious book among many.
We are not a nation of one religion. We are a nation founded to establish Justice and to secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity. We do this by guiding our country, through legislative act, executive lunge, and judicial rule, via rational and lively debate, toward the emancipation of Happiness and Security among the People, not through the rule of fear or codex, but through the application of our vast collective potential in service to all people, not a diminishing minority of the fabulously rich.
No American Theocracy.

Ultima Ratio Regum -
John Paul Roggenkamp

P.S. We really gotta start setting up Wardenclyffe Towers. But if we all had free energy, oil company execs and plenty of other folks would get mad heated.

no American theocracy

THE United States of America were not built on a Christian tradition. Our country was not founded as a Christian nation.

For those who are still confused on this point, please refer to the Treaty of Tripoli from 1796. The Treaty, supported by founding father John Adams, was ratified by nearly every elected Senator.
Article 11 of the treaty states:
"... the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion..." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treaty_of_Tripoli#Article_11)
The entire treaty, including article 11, was distributed via newspaper to the American people.
There was no public dissent. No angry voices arose to challenge the statement of non-Christianity. The people at the time, active participants in the founding of our nation, in no way disagreed with the statement.

And yet, today, a movement is growing to declare America a Christian nation. The leaders of this movement claim that the founding fathers built our young nation on the notions of Christianity.
There is little if any evidence for this argument. Far more evidence exists that the men who crafted the constitution, most notably Thomas Jefferson and John Adams, had atheistic leanings and were well informed of the dangers of a state religion.
An official Christianization of America would be devastating to our way of life. Instead of officers of the law enforcing legal standards, we would have religious officers persecuting those they deem unholy or sacrilegious. Instead of freedom of thought and freedom of religion, our thoughts and beliefs would be restricted.

Little good comes from a state religion.
Theocratic government in America is not a valid option - look at the theocracies in the Middle East, and imagine the suffering it would cause in our country.
Under a Christian theocracy, a man in America would be obligated to murder his new wife if, on their wedding night, he discovered she wasn't a virgin (Deuteronomy 22:13-21). He would be obligated to kill his children if they were disobedient (Leviticus 20:9). It would be his Yaweh-mandated duty to kill homosexuals suspected of buggering each other (Leviticus 20:13).

Americans should be allowed to believe in whatever religion they choose. I, for example, believe in Allah, Odin, Athena, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Mercury, the Earth-Mother, and the pile of dog shit I saw on the street the other day.
Under a Christian theocracy, I would be killed if anyone even suspected my non-Christian beliefs.
If a Christian wants to believe that women are the servants of men, or that humans were made from clay, that is her preference.
It should not be the law of the land.

The American government cannot take sides in this issue; it must remain neutral and aloof.
Diversity is what makes America special. It keeps us alive, young, and vibrant. We cannot afford to close our minds to the bounty of human inventiveness and imagination.

Keep religion out of government, and keep America free.

Ultima Ratio Regum.

JP