slick and relentless

Our systems are scanning they’ve made a detection and as we have feared it’s a true missed erection. Oh my what is that thing? Oh yeah, never mind - it’s just a fine plump and quite rotund behind a wonder to behold a beautiful thing that for some sweet action does seem to be lusting. Is this shlong still hard or must I pause to wait and walk with a bow legged cowboy-like gait to keep them from pinching these pendulous balls the source of much praise and ovative applause.? A meteor’s coming! There’s dire climate change! A fool does harangue us with hatred and rage! Hot dog this girl’s ready and willing at that so long as I strap on a tight jimmy-hat. Keep just her in mind and don’t dare criticize the wars greed and stealing the sadness and lies - if there is one constant in this election it’s steady slick and relentless misdirection.

© JPR / whorphan / americanifesto / 場黑麥

government regulates walking

Following a rash of locomotion-related injuries, the U.S. Department of Health proposed new laws to govern how and how quickly the American people should be allowed to walk. “Thousands of citizens are injured each year when they moving their bodies through this temporal realm at an increased speed without paying enough attention to where they are going,” said Hennrick Thallumann-Errins, the agency’s deputy director of public relations. “Once Congress passes provisional bill ST2240 b.d4, individuals who walk, run, jog, or otherwise move about in such a manner as to potentially harm themselves will face fines no greater than five hundred dollars or fourteen days in jail, per incident.” Walking occurs when a human’s upper body begins to fall forward but then catches itself with the legs, one after another, thus propelling it in a direction of the mind’s choosing. “The American people don’t seem to know how to get around on foot without running into household objects, tripping over curbs, stepping on errant rocks, or otherwise hurting themselves,” said Dr. Wilmina F. Fitzcharles, a gait specialist at the University of St. Stipan in Des Moines, Iowa, who was not directly involved with the proposed legislation. “Hopefully, these pending measures will ensure that people spend absolutely every iota of their brains’ attentive capacity on the act of walking, an act fraught with danger.” Legislation is being drafted to punish citizens who cannot perform similar daily tasks well, such as bathing, breathing, and swallowing. Due to the apparent absurdity of the laws mentioned above, most civil rights groups contacted for this story failed to comment.

© JPR / whorphan / americanifesto / 場黑麥

for-profit crosswalk

Tallahassee, Florida, made history today by switching on America’s first commercial road-traversing-assistance system. Composed of a pair of lights - red for ‘stop’ and green for ‘go’ - mounted atop a metal pole that has a credit-card reader bolted to it for processing payments, the system regulates foot-bound traffic across the eight-lane intersection at Sherman and Main Boulevards. With three strip-malls and two long-term elderly care centers, the intersection was apparently chosen for its potential to generate profits. “Following numerous complaints submitted by motor-vehicle operators apparently tired of waiting for slow-moving citizens to shuffle across this intersection at their own pace, we of the Tallahassee city council wisely decided to install this system,” said Ernesto Wainbight, the city’s deputy mayor. Manufactured by Assisted Crossing Inc. (ACI), from Atlanta, Georgia, the system charges pedestrians $2.50 for each crossing, a bargain according to company CEO Wendell F. Graus. “No driver I know is happy to see his way barred to allow some penniless walker to safely negotiate a busy intersection. And, with ACI’s new mobile-phone application, pedestrians in the process of negotiating the aforementioned intersection can now buy more time to cross the road, should they need it.” Each additional dollar spent extends a person’s crossing time by 30 seconds. Civil rights groups around the nation have criticized the move, claiming that it discriminates against persons who choose to change the temporal positions of their bodies using their own physical power, infringing upon their legal right to freedom of movement. “Foot-mobile citizens should be delighted that the price of a service they too long took for granted costs roughly the same as a cup of gourmet coffee,” Mr. Graus continued. “Nothing’s free in this life, especially not convenience, locomotion, or safety.” Eighty percent of the profits generated by the new system will be used to enrich the executive staff of ACI, whereas the additional twenty percent will fill the city council’s slush fund.

© JPR / whorphan / americanifesto / 場黑麥

Grigovia boycotts competition

Anyone watching the Mundi Venatus (an international festival of sportsmanship being held this year in Brazil) will notice the glaring omission of Grigovian gymnasts. Long hailed as one of the best overall teams to grace the world stage in recent decades, athletes and parathletes representing the Glorious Republic of Grigovia are for the fifth time staging a boycott of this purportedly highest level of competition. Their reasons for staying away include America’s continued and illegal killing of innocent civilians using armed unmanned aerial systems as well as recent leaks that highlight the corruption and greed endemic within the event organizers’ highest ranks. “We would of course love to participate,” said 16 year-old balance-beam specialist Ghreiya Yastyend, “but in protest of longstanding, inhumane Ynki brutality against our Afghani neighbors, we shall not attend.” Speaking from the media center of the sprawling National Gymnastic Sports campus in suburban Grig, the nation’s capital, other members of the Grigovian team gave similar reasons for staying away. “We boycott the Mundi Venatus out of principle,” said Dr. Heira Glougagon, head trainer of the men’s team. “The committee that runs it is made up of individuals who care more about personal enrichment than human life, who are indifferent to the destruction and destitution some of the nations hosting their event inflict upon helpless populations.” Joining Grigovia in their boycott of the Ludi Mundi are the Principality of Liechtenstein, the Jewish Independent Oblast, and the Islamic Republic of Iran.

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

French ban crosses

In an emergency session of Parliament yesterday the legislative body of the French Republic announced a nationwide ban on religious symbolism. “Here in this glorious land, the birthplace of Avril Lavigne, it is henceforth forbidden to display any kind of religious symbol in a public place,” said Lorellayi Cheattou, deputy minister of the interior. “No longer shall the ankh, cross, evil eye, ohm symbol, star of David, star and crescent, dharmachakra (Buddhist wheel), or praying hands be allowed to potentially offend the sensitivities of onlookers by dangling on chains or other such contraptions from the necks of peaceable people.” Civil rights groups around the world immediately condemned the new law, calling it a crime against humanity because it robs people of the freedoms of religion and expression. “Given the spate of attacks carried out recently by ardent extremists, the secular paradise that is modern France cannot afford to have anyone become excited by the sight of any symbol or symbols that could even potentially cause them to become aroused,” said AnLuise Heimer-Guizou, the sitting president’s chief of staff. “Sécurité, conformité, asservissement. Whether by bootheel or riflebutt, calm shall be enforced to give the French people the peace they want.”

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

such unending blessings

The faces swept past and the toys piled up and deep we did drink from the rim of life’s cup and up he went swiftly on rides’ metal beams and bright ‘pon his face shone the heat of his dreams. I spent time and money shall gladly again treat him in the manner of a darling friend and teach him a lesson while waiting our turn about how another man’s respect to earn. It’s swell to be with him and learning his ways I cherish these our few last remaining days and hope to stay loyal to those ancient lessons that bestow upon us such unending blessings.

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

letters and arts

Only time will tell if this gobbledegook will have had the power this world to have shook. Ich muss deshalb schreiben und das jeden Tag egal ob ich Zeit hab egal ob ich mag. For that I need focus and visual charts to help keep me sharp in the letters and arts. Ja gut ich bin sieben mal sieben mal zehn und alles was ist wird schnell genug vergehen.

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

on craving Kiefer’s Kefirs

There isn’t much in the far reaches of Earth that swells man with passion and fills him with mirth as a Kiefer’s Kefir fresh from the refridge - it’s swell for all ages from grandfolks to kids. Featuring fine flavors like berry and herb in tubs separated according to curd in batches fermented buried underground his Kefirs are the best that you’ll find around. The Kiefer himself oversees each last straining to make sure there won’t be customers complaining he’ll tweak fiddle mess with them throughout the night until he is sure they are completely right. If not in the boardroom he’s out in the fields broadcasting fresh-cut grass to boost his cows’ yields then back he’ll rush quickly to handle affairs that require breathing those Hollywood airs. His milks they make headlines from here to the coast of many gold medals he is proud to boast he’s risen far above his earthly-born station and that on the back of lactose fermentation. Just who is this genius with all the big plans? It’s the homie Kiefer ‘Top Dog’ Sutherland.

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

tail and run

Our leaders are scumbags our cops break the law our money’s worth little our glaciers have thawed we poison the waters and dig up the land the sinister killing the dexterous hand. Huge banks receive trillions of dollars to stay afloat open solvent for a few more days the Army’s lost trillions too oh what a bummer but hey listen to this feel-good song for summer. Let’s fiddle along as the whole structure burns and be done with worry and doubt and concern instead lining up with our jackboots on tight with blood set to boil with torches alight. America’s bounty must not be spread out to hardworking peons and upstanding louts - it’s that of the elite who sit at the top who’ve found in taxpayers a sure source to tap who milk and who bilk us then turn tail and run to where they have hidden their wrongly gained sums. If this standard business continues apace there won’t be much left here on Earth for our race but paved-over wetlands but clouds of sour rain but legions of innocents suffering pain. To return to balance most us of must die (at least sixty percent if not eighty-five) whether from starvation or terror event - Mom Nature won’t rest ‘til her full wrath is spent. Sleep well in this knowledge do not get upset for there is some hope and promise for us yet provided we turn from our self-centered ways in these next few shallow and woebegone days.

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

clad in black

Ron Bleibfest, former police chief of Willow Grove (AK) and current chairman of the Police Officers Regional & National Union (PORNU) addressed a group of reporters today to speak on recent controversies surrounding statements attributed to his organization. “We at Reggie Nash think that America should be as safe as possible,” he said whilst standing in the parking lot of an events hall somewhere near Baton Rouge, Louisiana. “Statistically speaking, people of Arab descent carry out more terrorist attacks than any other group, worldwide, as we have stated correctly. It makes sense, therefore, for we concerned citizens to monitor them and control their movements here at home, which is why, even if it makes us unpopular, PORNU supports the policies in question and stands behind the statements made.” A dozen men clad in black riot gear emerged from an unmarked van parked nearby, to form a phalanx behind Mr. Bleibfest. Armed with automatic rifles and wearing balaclavas, their name tags had been blacked using tape, as had the reference numbers on their shields. Mr. Bleibfest then shouted at dishwasher Luis Rodriguez, who was walking past on the way to a workshift, yelling at him to “Back up” and not “crowd me.” One of the masked agents immediately battered Mr. Rodriguez, grabbing him by the upper arm and yanking him backward. Not having seen his assailant, Mr. Rodriguez tried to pull away, after which he was forced to the ground by a half dozen officers shouting at him to “Stop resisting.” He was shot with a less-than-lethal device, maced, handcuffed, then taken to a waiting cruiser. “That man was clearly resisting arrest, which in a safe America cannot be tolerated,” Mr. Bleibfest proclaimed, chuckling with apparent joy. Warily, Regina Stockmight of the Southern Regional Journal, Jackson (MS) said, “The frequency of encounters in which police officers have shot unarmed individuals appears to be increasing. Do you think this is because police officers are acting more violently during roadside encounters, or that there are more people with cameras recording merely isolated incidents?” “Is that a weapon?” Ron then yelled, recoiling from the recording device the young lady was pointing at him. “I think she’s got a gun!” At the mention of the word gun, almost all of the blacked-out officers raised their weapons, with one of them firing a high-velocity round into the midsection of Ms. Stockmight. The fresh hole in her spine caused her to crumble to the ground. The agent who fired the round began to cry, whereupon one of his colleagues moved over to comfort him, stepping through the pooling blood and over the twitching body of Mrs. Stockmight. “That woman appeared to have a weapon, which caused me to fear for my life,” Mr. Bleibfest said, wiping the sweat from his brow. “Therefore, her shooting was justified, as in a safe America police officers must be able to protect their own lives - at all cost and regardless of the health and safety of anyone who’s not a police officer. Let’s thank the brave, selfless men standing behind me today for protecting us from the type of dangerous and criminal elements that are threatening to tear this country apart.” Fifteen minutes later, an ambulance showed up to collect the dead body, and to treat the wounded hands of police officers who had spent the intervening minutes beating a few of the camera operators - for loitering.

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

in our stead

None watch as she stumbles her back brilliant red from all of the lashes she takes in our stead. Her torch lays extinguished her rays bend askew her sash is in tatters she’s lost both her shoes her crown is well tarnished and the spark is gone from where in her visage it lived for so long. Then hounded assaulted and met on all sides is how Lady Liberty in the end dies should those who’re now living in the U.S.A. not come to her side and defend her today.

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

a rowdy din

The human he loves him a good diversion, be it book sex running or television; that last one’s the worst for it pulls a soul in spellbinding with colors and a rowdy din. All plans and hopes crumble when its screen doth flash and hours are spent without bringing in cash and hours are spent with bum glued to the couch for lack of much movement one becomes a grouch. The cure is to jettison and throw away that T.V. set - not soon but now here today - and hone skills like just how to tell a story which must be done slowly not sped up or hurried. At least please don’t talk about shows that are good or how others simply must watch them and should get caught up on all of the action that blares between spots for companies selling their wares. The T.V. set cuts people off from their peers and keeps them divided for years upon years, and helps them think that talking heads tell the truth or that there were others besides John Wilkes Booth. So shut it off please at least but for a while and watch how your body responds with a smile and watch then your brain activate and reboot when vanished is that which is wasteful at root.

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

dark & discreet

To fascist drumbeaters like Trump and Le Pen: we’re not at all surprised to see you again. Not more than a century back in the past was when we encountered and beat you at last but you showed up here in our calm midst again with confidence saying who’s foe and who’s friend. The masses you fool with a message of hate and promises to make brown folks emigrate but once wed with power corrupted you’ll be will drench in blood these shores from sea back to sea. Now fear stokes a fire that only is fed by listening to voices up in the head that champion anger and champion spite corrupting the ego both morning and night. This will not end pretty this will not end well and soon we’ll be swept into a right-wing hell where anyone who dares to strike or speak up will quick taste the heel of a jack-booted thug. With basic rhetoric and too-simple terms these wax-paper leaders the principles spurn upon which their nations long functioned and turned aloof to the lessons that history learns. So up now in unison we can defeat most any opponent or foe we might meet with methods bold brash brazen dark & discreet be it through the wires or out in the street. All antifa red-shirts anarchists and such who value their freedoms and value them much: let’s shake off the shackles of madness and hate and that without dally lest we be too late.

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

Grigovia initiates union

On Tuesday, the Grigovian Council on Foreign Affairs and Interaction opened its application subcommittee to states, self-proclaimed territories, and separatist movements (from any region or people intent on gaining official sovereignty). To qualify, parties must prove their economy is fair-trade and that their foreign policy is attuned to peace rather than conflict, the principles of anarchic self-determinism rather than autocratic hegemony. Prospective candidates for inclusion are Indonesia, Iceland, Liechtenstein, and Andorra, among a few others, as they pretty much mind their own peace-loving business. Countries who must alter their ways before entry include the United Kingdom, the United States of America, and the Russian Federation, among others, as they tend to inflict their will upon peaceful peoples violently.

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

nary a rut

If not in the heights of the mountains he prowls up there with the bears and the squirrels and owls where thin winds blow strongly and fire’s a threat then down to the flatlands and cities he’ll get. A good steed beneath him and food in his gut leaving not a wrapper and nary a rut, the smog-sled gets whirring and miles fly by while above does turn that bright star in its sky. The tools for the camping lie hidden beyond the gate where jet flight its first real tests won down here in the city though La Cieg and 3rd there’s steel and stone plenty but not many birds.

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

some a too

Just what did she want to get into in life except being free of want hatred and strife? Was hers a wrong pathway or was it all right to spend her time wondering morning to night that she wasn't living up to her true worth to all the conditions set out at her birth? Questions may have answers but these won't be met at least not today or not soon and not yet for this path is crooked this white is tarnished – to some a too bitter and not tasteful dish.

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

short teaching rhyme

When off on adventure when on walk-about it's wise to be vigilant inside and out. Do copy the customs of people that pass do bow to the statues and stay off the grass do help out the needy and wait for one's turn but do not give in when the ego's a-churn. By acting unlike a lame boorish tourist one might just gain access to what others miss and speak with a local or share a brief smile out here on these lovely and sun-dappled miles. By saying but little and letting things pass one might just gain memories, ones that will last, instead of just barging and barreling past all of the beauty and grace of this plane that never no never will occur again. So sit still be silent and cat-like just lounge while all of the others do hurry and scrounge for pixels and snapshots for souvenirs base while bustling quickly from this to that place. Right here is the moment right now is the time and so comes to end this here short teaching rhyme – huzzah for the warm bloods that course through my veins and for what by silence the open heart gains.

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

her untarnished sword

Straight back to her warrens straight back to the source was where she would flee as a matter of course. With passions inflamed and a fire within she'd ratchet back fury and then soon begin to douse soothe and quiet with white stillness pure while hoping thus peacefulness long to ensure. Now out of this practice did emerge a path to lessen the sting and the bite of her wrath and usher in peacefulness there at her very core returning to silent compassion once more. When seeing the nothingness shine from her face her enemies quick for their redoubts would race abandoning their plans to upset her seat concerned but for themselves and their living meat. She rose from the ashes of unconquered Grig where little was moving chicken nor pig and pulled from the rubble her untarnished sword and uttered these hallowed legendary words: 'Good riddance invaders who now scamper forth we've proved to them today our true stalwart worth and saved our city and our precious lands from those foul rapacious those far-roving bands. Now pick up a shovel and help mend these walls and help now rebuild these vaulted meeting-halls and look not to vengeance but always to peace – there's no point in us too becoming such beasts. We praise Nuuzstathena and thank her anon for helping to ensure this battle was won and ask for her blessing upon those to come we humble Grigovians standing as one.' With that rose a cry from the gathering crowd of men dressed in rags and of women in shrouds who turned to their labors with much studied grace – huzzah for this high-mountain and hardy race!

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

answer the beck

The sun in his glory the moon with her pull the heart cleared and empty the tight belly full the watchers in place and the mouth good and shut is what for believers a good life's about. It's not about piling up riches and gems or dividing people twixt the us and thems – it's about compassion and surrendering to the forces and powers unseen around you. The gods they are watching and we are the gods and nothing can even the weight of the odds and no single action can bring about peace for it must be practiced each day month and week. There's no grand finale no sudden insight that can bring us seekers back into the light for we must be prudent and set aside space to witness the absolute at its own pace. With mouths shut and silent and egos in check and evil within us reduced to a speck we enter that moment where death cannot reach the void from which nothingness might teach might preach. So off to the su'uvyiet Grigovians all to answer the beck and to answer the call of Wu and its power to Wu and its light that drives out mind-demons that ushers in light. A great stillness mounting will settle the score with all of the sadness that we've known before and bring back the balance that we tend to lose when strong and incessant is ego's abuse.

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

writing and riding

We are at the start of another new year – it's one of the monkey and one of good cheer. The last one is over we sit here silent and pray that the demons' foul energies went up over this island and missed us again we Balinese women and stout Western men. The yoga is over, meditation soon – for dealing with structures that threaten to ruin the course of this whorphan the course of E'e E'e this one who loves writing and riding the sea. Next to him are Frenchmen their chatter is daft before him's a future both tranquil and vast for he's on the cusp of a big changing time and all of his chips pile up on the line. With daily traditions he can alter course and make some things better hopefully none worse and rise from the ashes of all of the fears that have plagued and battered him lo' these long years. By keeping a witness in the seven nodes he plans to uproot and throw out many loads of energies stagnant and energies foul and mirror the wisdom of Athena's owl. The sun it has set now the land it is dark he can but hear scattered mechanical barks above him is bat stork and a night-hawk too – huzzah for this starting afresh and anew!

© americanifesto / 場黑麥