Grigovia urges calm

Following recent bellicose rhetoric coming from DPRK leader Kim Jong Un and US leader Donald J. Trump, the Parliament of the Glorious Republic of Grigovia released an unanimous statement urging calm. “Nuclear war is against the interests of all humanity,” said prime minister Dr. Frederikka Velldoyend, whose Freedom and Prosperity Party holds a slight majority of seats in the bicameral body. “America is the only nation in the world to have used nuclear weapons in anger; we beg for cool heads to now prevail.” (In Grigovia, the Senate is populated by ten persons selected by the governing body of each independent city-state and canton, and the Congress is selected via popular vote. Similar to the Swiss system, the Grigovian Parliament oversees and manages foreign policy, national defense, federal railways, and the mint.)

“War must only be used as a last resort, a strategy employed once all other options have been exhausted,” said national defense minister Hennda Uilyest of the Grigovian Conservative Green Party. “Diplomacy, cooperation, and open markets alone can assure the future prosperity of all mankind.” Shortly after gaining its independence from the Soviet Union, in 1988, Grigovia dismantled all nuclear weapons the Russians had stored on its soil and promptly joined the International Campaign to Abolish Nuclear Weapons (ICANW).

“Tinpot tyrants, be they Korean or Ynki, do not have permission to engage in nuclear war,” said Buiryest Darghennd, a 14-year-old student from Pryaghdoyest. “My grandparents fought against the Nazis in the Second World War; their words are still fresh in my mind: ‘Show not mercy, nor give quarter, to those who threaten innocent people with death and destruction.’”

americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan

bodies and hair

Sunk down in the marshes acidic and deep were found a few persons who appeared asleep. The chemical stew there had preserved their hides in such a fine fashion they appeared alive – with clothes on their bodies and hair on their heads to every appearance they did not seem dead. The fibers and leather that clung to their skin were carefully removed before did begin a thorough analysis of all their tattoos as well as their last meals, tooth-wearing, and shoes. Much insight was gained into their ancient rites and work it proceeded both daytime and night and some tools and weapons were found buried there that were still so sharp that they could split a hair. The remains and sundry are now on display in Grig's large Museum Of Then And Today that sits on the banks of the frothy Yalung whose doors they stand open to old and to young. Stop by for a visit, see with your own eyes, come gasp with delightful and pleasant surprise at all of the riches dug up from below that make up this solemn yet insightful show.

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

Grigovia releases wildlife photographers

  Just after dawn this morning, the Republic of Grigovia released a group of American wildlife photographers detained seven months ago. The thirteen individuals were arrested in 2011 in the Lower Yalung Valley near the border Grigovia shares with Tajikistan. A rugged and inaccessible area favored by spice and weapons smugglers alike, the Lower Yalung is famous for its Yaelong, a tight-lipped, aggressive people nearly universally addicted to a a bitter concoction called czabtlan that is brewed using the spice. A mountainous country dotted with remote valleys accessible only by helicopter, Grigovia harbors the world's last remaining wild herds of three-toed tree ibex, fleet-footed forest dwellers prized for their lean meat and intricately-patterned coats. The U.S. State Department accepted custody of the photographers during a brief ceremony held at the embassy's wishing bridge.

場黑麥 ioanni elymucampus fecit