strong traditions hold

​Sticking firmly to habits developed over many years of haphazardly studying the human condition, local know-nothing Amanda E. Brycewith made sure to negate any statement made by another person - regardless of propriety or pretense. “You can’t say that,” would leap from her lips as soon as a counterpart would finish a sentence (with her forgetting, of course, that the word ‘can’ references a person’s ability to do something, not whether they have the permission or the right to do so). “I don’t think that’s correct,” would be her immediate response to pretty much anything anyone else said - even personal or professional opinions on topics she’d never really heard of, let alone studied. Sometimes, she’d say this in response to someone complaining about not being able to charge a mobile device due to faulty wiring: “All of the USB charging ports of my various phones have worked just fine, and I treat them like shit.”

Experts studying the aforementioned trend of instantly trying to negate the opinions of others blame it on not only bad habits picked up watching reality television but also the incessant and purposeful erosion of (human) self-worth by marketers and advertisers in their drive to sell bullshit to the self-loathing masses.

[ americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan ]

haiku 24 Nov 2017

Routines are vital
To one’s own mythology
From cradle to grave

[ americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan ] ​

Grigovia buys Liberty

In an effort to celebrate the ideals inherent to this awesome goddess – she who has favored the nation throughout its tumultuous history – the Glorious Republic of Grigovia purchased the Statue of Liberty. “In America, it's sad to say, we don't really follow her lead anymore,” said Frank O'Shea-DiTomasso, a longshoreman from Staten Island, New York, who was in the hold of an ocean-going vessel securing a copper-clad arm for transport. “Most people I know are slaves to their jobs, to the things they own, to televised programming, and to little pieces of papery cotton that have dead guys' faces printed on them. It's a shame to see her go, but, at day's end, few around here will miss the old dame.”

As a nod to the tremendous power of freedom, Grigovia now requires all citizens older than 18 years to pass a course designed to teach them how to make the best and fullest use of their Liberty. Individuals are given two options upon completion: they can either have their identification cards embossed with Liberty's crown-and-rays or the symbol tattooed onto a prominent part of their bodies (using a specially-formulated, non-toxic ink that glows in ultra-violet lighting). The most popular area is the top of a hand; some go for the forehead; and a few get inked on neck, throat, and cheekbone. (The tattoo's prominent placement serves as a constant reminder of the person's oath – sworn before a magistrate and sealed with freshly-spilled blood – to protect Liberty from anyone who might do her harm.) People who attend the course learn the importance of both communal cooperation and individual sacrifice, and that one is expected to do as one pleases so long as one's actions do not infringe upon the life, Liberty, or property of any other person. The course is designed to fill the citizen with a strong sense of both personal responsibility and quiet humility so that he or she does to body, mind, and property as he or she decides will best effect Happiness. (Liberated individuals may consume any drug they wish, cut their hair as they wish, and speak freely without fear of repercussion so long as they are not inciting violence.) Plans are in place to drastically reduce police forces once enough civilians understand the power of deliberate action and embrace the joyously peaceful task of mutual prosperity.

“This is to be Lady Liberty's new home,” said Uwelda Iyetast, acting curator of the new Museum of National Liberty, while standing on the masonry pad upon which the goddess shall soon rest. After six months of restorations, the statue will be reassembled on an island in the Yalung River located in the heart of Grig, the nation's capital. (A lunatic asylum from the 19th Century that had previously occupied the island burned down during post-Soviet upheavals; it was fully demolished last year to prepare for the iconic statue, although most of the building's iron superstructure was used to build pedestrian bridges that lead to the Museum.) With tears of joy in her eyes, Mrs. Iyetast explained the history of the statue from its inception to the present day, ending her speech with a standard Grigovian ritual, tossing flowers and libations into the shifting winds of Fortune so as to guarantee Liberty's safe arrival. “Unlike the people in her former home, we Grigovians are well aware of the dangers of allowing people to just do whatever they want and calling it freedom,” the curator said. “Liberty works best when individuals let every action, thought, and word resound with joyous Happiness.”

mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥