another bad witch

A bad witch named Baya lived on the edges of the Web, near its darker fringes. In her yard were cute things, puppies and goslings that, seeming innocent, attracted youngsters.

She quickly infected the minds of children who strayed inside her home, however. On her outspread apron were embroidered images that young people weren’t supposed see, moving pictures of people doing naughty things to each other. The pictures got stuck in the kids’ minds, making them callous and adult at an early age - too early, many argued. Baya changed her address frequently, for she lived in a moving house. On taloned feet it picked its way carefully through the tangled mazes of web domains, always one step ahead of the angry parents following it.

One child, a precocious and prepared young lady, saw what was going on and, as she fled from the bothersome images, dropped behind her a few bits of rotten code. The discarded virus soon took over Baya’s home and brought it crashing to its knobby knees. But much damage had been done to others, many young minds ruined.

And, soon enough, another bad witch took Baya’s place.

americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan

Grigovia fights nutritionism

For the health and safety of current citizen and growing fetus alike, the Glorious Republic of Grigovia launched Operation Real Food Now (ORFN). A nationwide program aimed at gathering and disseminating traditional recipes and empirically-based eating advice passed down through the ages from grandmother to son and grandfather to daughter, ORFN emphasizes the consumption these items: fresh fruits and vegetables grown without pesticides; chemical-free oats, millet, and barley; dairy products fermented from cows living organically; eggs from chickens that eat bugs in the grass and live in the sun; and a minimal amount of meat. Questioning the merits of nutritionism (which is the idea that food can be broken down into its component parts, bombarded with trace minerals and vitamins, and processed back into food-like substances without harming the being consuming it or depriving him of what his body needs to live a disease-free life), Minister of Health Dr. Hheiryest Ondiest, said, “How our grandmothers taught us to eat is how it is healthiest to eat – a variety of unprocessed but cooked vegetables, yellow butter from roaming bovines, as little wheat as possible, lots of teas, an egg or two now and again, and meat only on the sacred days.” ORFN began in the Spring of 2013 with a country-wide ban on fast food. At the end of five years, the Ministry of Health will thoroughly measure the overall health of the Grigovian citizenry, its reaction to ORFN, and whether it has been eating its peas and carrots.

mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥