on MOHD

Have you ever had to choose between a great job and a great apartment? Have you ever wanted to just uproot your crib and truck it to a different city? Have you ever clawed your way out of a mobile home while it was being sucked under by a raging, swollen river?

The new MOHD series from Maison Modular & Mobil lets you watch without trepidation from your living-room window as the tsunami rips your neighboring structures to pieces. Replace your home's entire roof in a single afternoon! Move to any city that has parking spaces, and bring your entire household with you as you go! The Mobility-Oriented Housing Design (MOHD) unit fits in any standard parking space, yet, inside, it is big enough for eight people to sit, or for two to live, comfortably. Once in place, the unit is bolted to the ground via three thick steel cables that are accessible only to the inhabitant via a floor hatch (this makes it difficult to move the MOHD unnoticed). The unit fits onto any but the smallest flat-bed trailer, and its underside-mounted wheels, which were originally designed to aid in positioning it in a parking space, allow it to be towed, albeit slowly. The MOHD's exterior and interior panels can be customized in most any way imaginable and are prefabricated in an ecologically-friendly certified process. The core of each panel contains a sandwich of interwoven, enmeshed circuitry designed to block electronic surveillance. (The circuitry does not interfere with the unit's built-in Wi-Fi router or its send-and-receive capabilities.) The panels, doors, and windows are designed in such a way as to form an airtight seal that, in conjunction with built-in reservoirs, can keep two grown adults alive for at least 48 hours, providing them with fresh air, clean water, and a steady supply of electricity. (The actual length of life-support depends on fuel-cell charge levels, stockpiles of food, and the ability of the semi-rigid, roof-mounted floating snorkel to extend above the surface of the rising floodwaters).

MOHDs are conceived for the urban working individual who wants to save time looking for apartments and spend less money on home repairs. The staff at most home improvement centers is trained to replace or repair MOHD panels quickly and inexpensively, and the panels are easy to replace using a few, simple tools (provided one watches the appropriate training video on YouTube). The septic system of the MOHD includes the recapture-and-reuse of wastewater and methane. (The recaptured methane then recharges the fuel-cells.) Furniture in a variety of styles and shades is available for purchase from third party vendors. MOHD units are designed to connect to one another, so one can create a maze-like warren all one's own in the overflow parking area of an local strip-mall. (The standard MOHD design resembles in appearance a loaf of bread with square sides, a rounded top, and a blunt snorkel.) Inconspicuous (most designs) and intrusion-resistant (all designs), each unit has mount-ready external hard-points for attaching a number of remotely operated items, among them cameras and mini-guns. The MOHD is the complete package: compared to an immobile house, it is low in price; it floats; it is partially self-sustaining (with necessary roof-garden and solar panel / wind turbine upgrades); it is simple to relocate; it is easy to repair and upgrade; and it looks way cool sitting out behind those abandoned stores down the street. Buy a MOHD today, and never hunt for an apartment, die in a tsunami, fall victim to prowling vagrants, or watch your house get towed, ever again. At select retailers.

mentiri factorem fecit © 場黑麥