Republicans expand platform

Waiting for just the right mass-shooting or natural disaster to conceal its un-American and freedom-hating ways, the Republican Party in America (RePIA, pronounced “rape-ya”) plans to add to its presidential platform more sections based on the Christian bible. Said Paul Ryan, a religious extremist hoping to gain the vice presidency, at a press conference held at the Mexican border where a group of non-Christian Americans were being quietly banished from the land of their birth, “Once Mitt and I take the White House, you're gonna be seeing a lot fewer gays or women wearing pants around here, as we will be expelling or imprisoning anyone who does not adhere strictly to the old testament directives of YHWH, my personal, bloodthirsty god. Start reading Leviticus, today; if you find yourself violating any of its clearly-worded mandates – if you so much as look at another man's wife or think even the most tame of tainted thoughts – we'll dispatch the Faith Police to eradicate from the earth the last traces of your worldly passage.”

Abandoning Reason and ignoring fully our founding concepts of Liberty, Justice, and Equality, RePIA plans to revoke a woman's right to her body and to force girls – including victims of rape and incest – into risking their lives by carrying unwanted fetuses to term. Cowed into silence by a life-time of vituperative sermons and a religious text that demands they be treated in the manner of dumb and worthless beasts, upon hearing of RePIA's plans the women of America collectively left the room and found a nice quiet place to have a weep. “My youngest daughter slept with her boyfriend for the first time, last week,” said housewife Nancy Graise-Winstlomb, a meek woman from Yankton, South Dakota. “Now, with the Republicans banning marriage between persons of different faiths, I shall have to find a Christian man to marry her, but when he discovers that she has already lost her virginity, we'll have to stone her to death on our front porch, while the community watches. Good grief – we should have fled to Argentina when we had the chance.”

Interpreting into our founding documents mentions of the Christians' god, RePIA seems to have forgotten that there is no mention of Jesus, YHWH, Mary, Joseph, stray lambs, heaven, hell, Leviticus, or Deuteronomy in 99% the official correspondences of our founding persons, which include George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Abigail Adams, and Susan B. Anthony. “The opinions of Washington or Adams don't matter,” said Mitt Romney from atop a self-propelled, gilded, tax-payer-funded throne built on the ruins of the American companies that he has gutted and shipped off to distant free-economic-zones. “My advisers said that the Taliban's more dastardly and misogynistic tactics effectively controlled and subjugated the Afghani population, so Paul and I plan to put the worst parts of the Bible – the ones that were written for the Israelites, a desert-people who lived during the Bronze Age, five thousand years ago – we want to put those to work, right now, right here in America. Therefore, anyone who works on the Sabbath, who does not bathe correctly, who looks at or talks to a woman who is on her period, who eats impure meats such as pork, who curses his mother or father, or who dares to question the supremacy of the various church-fathers, those persons will be put to death by the explicit command of Jesus, YHWH, god – whatever you wanna call the Lord.” Pausing to glare at an area mother who was operating a passing motor-vehicle, the former Massachusetts governor wrote down the woman's license-plate number before continuing on, saying, “Shit, boys, I'm not even a Christian, but I'll pretend to be one in exchange for presidential power.”

場黑麥 mentiri factorem fecit

no American theocracy

THE United States of America were not built on a Christian tradition. Our country was not founded as a Christian nation.

For those who are still confused on this point, please refer to the Treaty of Tripoli from 1796. The Treaty, supported by founding father John Adams, was ratified by nearly every elected Senator.
Article 11 of the treaty states:
"... the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion..." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treaty_of_Tripoli#Article_11)
The entire treaty, including article 11, was distributed via newspaper to the American people.
There was no public dissent. No angry voices arose to challenge the statement of non-Christianity. The people at the time, active participants in the founding of our nation, in no way disagreed with the statement.

And yet, today, a movement is growing to declare America a Christian nation. The leaders of this movement claim that the founding fathers built our young nation on the notions of Christianity.
There is little if any evidence for this argument. Far more evidence exists that the men who crafted the constitution, most notably Thomas Jefferson and John Adams, had atheistic leanings and were well informed of the dangers of a state religion.
An official Christianization of America would be devastating to our way of life. Instead of officers of the law enforcing legal standards, we would have religious officers persecuting those they deem unholy or sacrilegious. Instead of freedom of thought and freedom of religion, our thoughts and beliefs would be restricted.

Little good comes from a state religion.
Theocratic government in America is not a valid option - look at the theocracies in the Middle East, and imagine the suffering it would cause in our country.
Under a Christian theocracy, a man in America would be obligated to murder his new wife if, on their wedding night, he discovered she wasn't a virgin (Deuteronomy 22:13-21). He would be obligated to kill his children if they were disobedient (Leviticus 20:9). It would be his Yaweh-mandated duty to kill homosexuals suspected of buggering each other (Leviticus 20:13).

Americans should be allowed to believe in whatever religion they choose. I, for example, believe in Allah, Odin, Athena, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Mercury, the Earth-Mother, and the pile of dog shit I saw on the street the other day.
Under a Christian theocracy, I would be killed if anyone even suspected my non-Christian beliefs.
If a Christian wants to believe that women are the servants of men, or that humans were made from clay, that is her preference.
It should not be the law of the land.

The American government cannot take sides in this issue; it must remain neutral and aloof.
Diversity is what makes America special. It keeps us alive, young, and vibrant. We cannot afford to close our minds to the bounty of human inventiveness and imagination.

Keep religion out of government, and keep America free.

Ultima Ratio Regum.

JP