haiku 25 Oct 2018

Knowing whom to trust

And whom not to trust, of course,

Lessens confusion

[ americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan ]

explore your ancestry!

Outrage swept the internet today when tens of thousands of Americans went online to complain about the results sent to them by for-profit labs performing genetic sequencing to determine ancestry. “Africa. Every drop of blood in you comes from Africa. Duh. Read a fucking book,” all of the returned forms read, shocking some and non-plussing others. Instead of one or many pie-graphs, the forms merely featured a circle of light blue that said: Africa (100%). “Well, there goes a hundred bucks,” said Blane D. Whittlesrad, 34, while smearing sunscreen onto his pasty face for the short walk to the store and back. Industry representatives hope it will take at least a few more weeks until people catch onto the scam and stop sending in swabs for testing.

[ americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan ]

supplementary info from abcmouse.com!

Parents! Are your kids still sitting around in front of that other flat-screen monitor watching poisonous and boring programming? Is their health in decline, and do they show signs of extreme boredom? Are you looking for a way to keep them tethered to their tiny, imported, colorful plastic chairs, and glued to the Flickering Idiot Box of Self-Enslavement? We at abcmouse.com know that America's parents are looking for ways to further destroy their children's health and latent creativity; we also know just how counter fucking productive it is to encourage children to physically exit the home and to play outside in rapist-infested, germ-laden, terror-inspiring community parks.

To make sure your kid falls behind in school, that she develops early-on diseases such as diabetes, obesity, and social anxiety disorder, and that she leads a generally depressing and unsatisfying life, we at abcmouse.com have developed a suite of Internet-based games that will guide your child's bursting mind back into the browbeaten channels of rigid conformity so sought for by today's pre- and elementary school recruiters. You will marvel at your son's stunted and incomplete problem-solving skills, and his airy and dismissive manner will make you smile! You will cry out with joy upon seeing your daughter charge headlong into a storied career as the local checkout-girl (once, of course, she obtains her GED following the birth of her fourth child by three different men).

If you are so incompetent as to switch to using our service, if you have given up trying to teach things to your child or to mold her into a virtuous and self-sufficient individual to the extent that you cannot see through our crude lie, then you shall surely not understand that switching from one screen to the next makes no difference at all, and that diverting your kid's attention from the television to our website is lost and wasted effort. So come on by, parents of America, and rot your kids' brains at our site, not at the site of some “different” company.

場黑麥 ioanni elymucampus fecit

on slavery by capitalism

  We, the people of America who are not enslaved to watching television or participating in fabricated national shopping rituals, we must somehow help the 152 million people who went out to shop on the fake ritual of "Black Friday," a non-holiday that was created to rob the People of their hard-earned greenbacks.

  How do we help these people, and free them from their self-imposed, self-bought slavery?

Ultima Ratio Regum - 場黑麥 John Paul Roggenkamp