ꜛƸ⬍ᛦ\_₳˙☐˙☐˙₳_/ᛦ⬍Ʒꜛ

shining Sol his face a gleaming burning disc bore mighty witness to our wobbly plastic flight-paths

this soon lessen

Far the rhythm of her gaze that pierces through the gathered haze
Of gross injustice done to they who have no place to rest or play
Bright her torch of golden light that shreds such gloom as harshly bites
Upon the heels of Liberty as she protects her huddled seas of
Lowly and downtrodden wenches lost in economic trenches
Whose short lives made shorter still by rich men taking mighty swills
From wealth that’s made by each and all men and women bending tall
Against the weight of harsh oppression
Liberty please this soon lessen.

JPR / whorphan / americanifesto / 場黑麥

Grigovian vagabond song

Oh for the high banks of the Yalung river
That place for which I yearn with a small part of my heart
Where the soils are host and giver to the teeming multitudes
Such a song my heart exudes in honor of the deep and fertile
Plains of our flash founder Old man Grig who settled valleys
Where bright blooms and soft winds mix
Forming for each weary passer tiny bosoms where to rest
From the sight of beast and stranger
There on the high banks of the Yalung river
A small glen with mountain view will for tonight surely do

JPR / whorphan / americanifesto / 場黑麥

on privatized police

In his book Snow Crash, Neal Stephenson writes about a world in which the territory of the former United States of America is run by [!!!spoiler alert!!!] multinational corporations that have their own armies and police forces. The federal government owns only a few parcels of land, their main hub being a property near the 405 freeway in Westwood, California.

Are we as a nation heading in that very direction? Does the rise of private contractor armies in the wake of America’s (illegal and disastrous) misadventures in Iraq and Afghanistan bode well for the Ynki experiment? With plans to federalize the current police forces already nearing completion, is it a far grasp to imagine that after federalization these pillars of putatively civilized society might be privatized? Other elements of the once publically-owned criminal injustice system such as prisons, bail bonding, and parole services are already in private hands. Why not privatize those bodies that are currently doing a piss-poor job of protecting and upholding the parameters of the U.S. Constitution? American police today are not beholden to the opinions or rights of the citizens they were designed to protect; they work by rules of their own design, granting themselves the power to kill and imprison without fear of retribution or, failing that, even hints of criticism.

Perhaps if the police forces were privatized, their shareholders would be able to force them into abiding by the guidelines of due process, restraint, and respect for life that were long ago codified in the U.S. Constitution. Should a citizen be treated unfairly by a privatized police force, he could convince his neighbors to divest from that force’s stock portfolio or attend a shareholder meeting to voice his concerns. Today, however, anyone who dares to speak out against police brutality and intimidation - in a borough or community meeting, for example - will be ostracized and labelled as a pariah. Likely, his efforts will be met with further retribution, additional intimidation, stalking, veiled threats, loss of liberty, targeted ticketing, and more. The privatization of America’s police forces is all but inevitable; if done correctly, it might just serve the People well; if done incorrectly, however, it will bring this nation’s already wobbly house of cards crashing down. Sic semper tyrannis.

JPR / whorphan / americanifesto / 場黑麥

Caribbean cabinet complains

Representatives of a filing cabinet today filed an official complaint against the United Nations, claiming their client has been unfairly targeted. Sitting in a decrepit office building located in the capital city of a small island nation in the eastern Caribbean, the filing cabinet contains the paperwork of various multinational corporations such as Multinational Back Gold Limited (MBGL), which owns 60% of all petroleum-producing rigs worldwide, as well as top political and business representatives of major Western powers. “The persons we stand for enjoy positions of great power; they must be allowed to hide their monetary earnings however and wherever they see fit,” said Ghadesh Rimn’alawan (esq.) of Mimir Partners LLC, the team of attorneys that manages the filing cabinet. “United Nations findings that criticize or otherwise bring to light the illicit offshore tax avoidance schemes that our clients engage in [through us] are damaging to the fabric of trust and transparency that underpins occidental economies.” Between 7 and 25 trillion dollars are hidden from tax authorities by unscrupulous businesspersons who benefit from the redistribution of wealth from the working classes to their entitled overlords.

In a tweeted statement, a group of American businessmen with ties to the filing cabinet voiced their concern. “We rich few need yachts and vacation estates more than the poor many need hospitals, roads, or schools,” said Sayied alHammour, owner of the Rust Best Roughnecks, an American professional sports team. Selected by his co-conspirators to put a positive spin on the potentially damaging findings, alHammour stated that “job-creating entities should not share the wealth generated by the persons [at the bottom] who actually work to create that wealth. Rather, such entities are entitled to keep all of those profits - in offshore holdings, if need be.”

“We suspect that many of the individuals and organizations named in the Panama Papers have a skewed view of the social contract,” said Thorrir Thamlundsson, a Norwegian U.N. Independent Expert on foreign debt and expert on offshore tax shelters. “So long as the citizens of the affected nations allow these criminal acts to continue unchallenged, these injustices will continue.”

JPR / whorphan / americanifesto / 場黑麥

⌒*.☐ЇⰔ⏣🝱⏣ⰔЇ☐.*⌒

after a cold walk we did sit down to rest enjoying a rowdy Pineapple Express

freeloaders face music

Following a failed attempt to gut the Office of Congressional Ethics, Senate Republicans shifted their attentions elsewhere. Next up are the bloated salaries and outsized benefits packages enjoyed by all members of America’s legislative bodies. “We entered civil service not for riches but for power,” said a Republican senator leading the charge whose name was withheld upon his request. “Therefore, my colleagues and I will take the steps necessary to pay all legislators the minimum wage of their respective state. In addition, we will get rid of wasteful taxpayer spending on generous benefits packages, transferring legislators to the MedicAid system.”

The proposed move caused consternation among members of both the House and Senate, with a number of Republican Congressmen offering clandestine challenges. “How are we supposed to live on the minimum wage?” said an elected official from America’s South who also asked us to withhold his name. “I’ve got a mansion to keep up and a couple of luxury cars to look after. How am I supposed to do this on $7.25 an hour?” The proposed changes will require legislators to clock in and out using an electronic punch-card system and wait their turn in line to see a doctor - just like a majority of Americans must do. Citizen watchdog groups have applauded the move, among them American Civil Liberties Union, Institute for Justice, and Taxpayers of Common Sense. “We view this as a necessary first step in reining in Washingtonian greed and forcing our elected officials to witness firsthand the harsh realities most underprivileged Ynki face,” said Rheinhold D. Julout-Graham, head of Project on Government Oversight. “It has long been our opinion that once members of the House and Senate understand the inadequacies of our current minimum wage standards, they will take the steps necessary to raise or abolish them.”

Although no timetable has been set for banishing the practice of moving from the public directly into the private sector commonly referred to as the revolving door system, watchdog groups remain hopeful that Americans will soon rest assured that their elected officials are actually working in the best interest of the People instead of just a corporate bottom line.

JPR / whorphan / americanifesto / 場黑麥

storm clouds gather

Over the past weekend, an ungodly mass of black cumulonimbus started gathering above Washington, D.C. Arriving primarily from the South and Midwest, the floating harbingers of portend rumbled and shook, threatening to shatter the last vestiges of Ynki democracy. Their first casualty was the formerly independent Office of Congressional Ethics, a body that once served to reduce corruption in the Senate but that now lies stricken, and dying. Next, the ill winds aim to destroy the protections put in place by the Constitutional Emoluments Clause, allowing a narcissistic kleptocrat to assume the country’s highest post. After these crimes are committed, the swirling heaps of rotten air will ramp up their assault on America’s minority groups - among them persons homosexual, sick, and poor. Scientists studying the clouds indicate that only the dazzling of light of unbridled Truth might scare off these thunderheads, allowing Liberty and Justice to once again shine down on the struggling masses yearning here to be free.

© JPR / whorphan / americanifesto / 場黑

NM legalizes drugs

Citing the successful test of drug legalization in Portugal as its guiding influence, the American state of New Mexico decriminalized all drug use and possession within its border. The Return to Freedom Act, or RFA (SB-04472.7.65), has been approved by both houses of the state’s legislature and should arrive on the governor’s desk shortly. “Our residents and visitors are sick of being harassed and imprisoned for exercising their Constitutional right to get blasted on any substance they choose so long as they are not infringing upon the Life, Liberty, or Property of another person,” said Hailyie Darmstadder, 49, deputy New Mexico governor and mother of two state police sergeants; “and our police forces desire to spend their time keeping their communities safe from violent crime rather than working as strongmen who exist primarily to enforce blanket prohibitions enacted by a tyrannical federal government.” Critics have condemned the passage of RFA, saying that the potential risks to children outweigh the benefits arising from the normalization of drug-using behavior. Margit Lopez-Westinghaus, head of the New Mexico chapter of Catholic Mothers for Safe Streets, was concern that “it will become easy for a child to walk into a pharmacy and buy a marijuana cigarette.” Thomaz H.N.E. Gutierrez Jr., a Republican legislator who helped write the bill’s final draft, confirmed that the new legislation will make recreational drugs available to legal adults only, much as are cigarettes or alcohol. “For many generations now, Americans have been able to walk into any of a thousand convenience stores across the Land of Enchantment and pick up as much booze and as many smokes as they could carry, and look at the damage that has wrought,” state congressman Gutierrez said. “My ancestors used marijuana in ceremonies as a method for becoming one with the Great Unknowable, whereas alcohol does little more than pollute the mind, and nicotine does little more than make people sick.” Police unions across the state are wary about RFA, with most of them saying they’ll miss the millions of dollars they receive from Washington for putting non-violent drug users behind bars. “The gravy train is over, I guess,” said Captain Youlisees Sharlto-Macks of the West Mesa City Police department. “On the other hand, prohibition of alcohol didn’t work in the 1920s - why the hell did we think it would work with other drugs?”

© JPR / whorphan / americanifesto / 場黑麥