haiku 17 May 2018

Seventy million
Born-again conservatives

Threaten liberty

[ americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan ]

ungovernable citizens coalesce

In response to the election of a billionaire fascist to the Presidency, a loose assemblage of persons calling themselves at times the Ungovernable Citizens Coalition (UCC) has begun to organize across the United States. Coming together with the apparent aim of causing such disruptions to the legislative, judicial, and commercial aspects of the American republic as to bring the entire system to a screeching halt, the UCC urges Americans to peacefully assemble and assert their Constitutional rights. There will be no requests made for permits to assemble, as they are not needed. There will be no muzzling of free speech by the U.S. police state’s violent thugs, as such action fly in the face of this nation’s basic and founding principles. (Here is an article that asks if the current U.S. federal government acts in a manner nearly identical to a past king of England, from whom we cut loose in a war for independence.)

Foremost among the goals of these #ungovernable people is to resist the Dakota Access Pipeline, a petroleum infrastructure project in which Trump is financially invested. When the supposed ‘leader of the free world’ pursues public ventures that benefit his personal portfolio; when these public ventures threaten the continued existence of the human race on planet Earth; when human-induced climate change is viewed by the various U.S. and international defense experts as a threat to national security: then it is the duty of all self-respecting and forward-thinking citizens to take action, to speak out, and to make it hard for their plutocratic overlords to get continue with business as usual; then it is the duty of the People to protect their water, their air, and their land from rock oil and its poisonous byproducts using all peaceful means at their disposal.

The UCC is urging all citizens to join in its efforts to safeguard the protections won by minority populations over many generations past, protections that under President Obama were seriously eroded, protections that will vanish further under President Trump. It is the duty of any person who honors and respects this American experiment to stand up, speak out, and become ungovernable. Why? Because such acts of peaceful civil disobedience are just about the only form of power the masses have left.

JPR / whorphan / americanifesto / 場黑麥

dedication to truthfulness

Having vowed whenever feasible to move in the opposite direction of the United States of America (USA), the government of Glorious Republic of Grigovia (GROG) strengthened its commitment to speak the unadulterated truth to its citizens and to not use propaganda against them. “We feel it is necessary to keep our people informed, educated, and alert,” said Dr. Frederikka Velldoyend, prime minster of GROG. “When the USA ended its ban on lying to its citizens in order to spread and maintain the stranglehold it keeps on their hearts and minds – partially through the use of fluoride in drinking water and a steady supply of willpower-sapping cheap sugars and fats – we and other nations in the Confederacy of Liberated and Free Nations immediately took steps to assure our respective citizenries that we shall do our utmost to protect their trust and uphold Virtue rather than attempt to mislead them and actively destroy everything we once proclaimed to hold dear.” By ceasing its fledgling attempts to enact Justice, the government of the USA has become just another petty tyranny, joining the ranks of Nazi Germany, Soviet Russia, and Pinochet's Chile.

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

Grigovia accepts refugees

As part of its century-long effort to house and shelter the victims of imperialistic overreach, the Glorious Republic of Grigovia announced today it would take in and care for a first wave of 100,000 refugees fleeing war in Syrian. “The United States of America and the Russia Federation are waging a proxy war with one another in the Middle East,” said spokeswoman for the Interior Ministry Dr. Eroya Yastoyeindt. “Grigovia opens her doors to the civilians affected by these barbaric atrocities.” “We are a small nation, but we spread our arms wide,” said Ulla Rouvendt, Grigovia's third female president, during an address live-cast on the website for her country's executive branch, www.exe.gov.gv. “To the downtrodden and disaffected people of the world,” she continued, “to the tired, poor, and hungry, hear this: Come enjoy the blessings of Liberty, the bounty of peaceful cooperation, and the tranquility of effortless productivity.” Until dedicated housing is available, the refugees will live in the homes of thousands of magnanimous and caring Grigovians.

mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥

shemales hacked

In a brazen violation of the sovereignty of longstanding allies, the cache of documents leaked by Mr. Edward Snowden revealed that the United States of America has been covertly monitoring shemales around the world. “We are outraged,” said Joseph 'The Dame Helene' Duix, leader of the Parisian Association of Upstanding LadyBoys. “Not only am I upset that I have been scrutinized by some cubicle-jockey wasting his life away in a subterranean vault in Langley, Virginia,” said Frim Thallu, a trans-gender Danish citizen living in Thailand, “I am angry because someone went through my dresser the other day, disturbing my underthings.” President Obama has not issued any statement regarding his government's hacktivities, saying only that America has every right to be curious about what goes on behind closed doors in other countries.

mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥

border location confirmed

Even as it is tussling with Pakistan on its southeastern border, Afghanistan is celebrating its ongoing friendship with a small neighbor to the northwest, the Glorious Republic of Grigovia. “We recognize the continuing validity and current location of our border with Grigovia, and rejoice in the many years of peaceful prosperity we have shared together,” said Hamid Karzai, prime minster of Afghanistan, at an early-morning press conference in Herat. “Unlike the borders drawn by the cowardly British during the 19th Century, the delineating line that separates the Grigovian from the Afghani people runs exactly where we both agreed it should run during 1952's Regional Conference for Peaceful Prosperity – Central Asia.” After his speech, Karzai warmly greeted his counterpart from Grigovia, the newly-elected prime minister Dr. Frederikka Velldoyend.

“Thank you, brother Hamid,” said prime minster Velldoyend after waiting for a round of raucous applause to die down. “As one of the first female prime minsters in the history of Central Asia, I am overjoyed to be able to recommit to a future replete with peaceful cooperation and prosperous dealings between our two peoples. Together – that is, without any more undue and illegal meddling by foreign powers, especially the United States of America – we might yet after so many decades of hateful warmongering experience peace in these lands. Begone, Ynki invaders, and may you darken our common soils no longer.” To commemorate the occasion, the prime ministers signed a mutual trade and travel pact designed to increase and promote interaction between the Afghani and Grigovian peoples.

mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥

private sector triumphs

Last Thursday evening, quietly, and with little fanfare, the private companies constituting America's military industrial complex declared success in their efforts to undermine and ultimately destroy liberty, democracy, and free speech at home and abroad. During a lavish ceremony held at an opulent dining room located in a convention center built using local taxes-dollars, these enemies of freedom toasted themselves, each other, and their cronies in Washington, cronies who used the federal 2012 defense bill to enrich these fools by nearly $400 billion. “NASA just spent $1.6 billion sending a miniature laboratory to Mars,” said the head of a powerful aeronautics contractor, to uproarious applause. “One point six billion? I can see from this here podium seventeen different fellow defense contractors who made that much in stock options in the ten minutes after the President signed the National Defense Authorization Act of 2012 (NDAA 2012). It warms my heart to know that those $400 billion were used to make the persons in this room rich instead of being wasted on launching more scientific labs into space, feeding malnourished children, or developing methods for raising crops in Earth's barren and waterless places. We have done it, gentlemen – hoodwinked hundreds of millions of clueless motherfuckers into making us wealthier and more powerful than they could possibly imagine.”

Called in 1961 by outgoing president Dwight D. Eisenhower the greatest threat to democracy that this country has ever known, a few tens of thousands of defense contractors routinely cheat over three hundred and ten millions of common American citizens out of roughly half the money we commoners give the government in the form of taxes, every year. “With four hundred billion dollars, we could refurbish a thousand schools, explore the seas and space, pay a hundred thousand school-teachers decently, rebuild a thousand bridges, cure a dozen diseases, and perfect renewable-energy-gathering-systems such as solar, tidal, wind, and thermal,” said Shurucq Tamzal, PhD, spokeswoman for the U.S. Government Accountability Office (GAO). “But no matter how many recommendations this office makes to leaders in the White House or Congress, they keep shoveling hundreds of billions of dollars into the pockets of private individuals who profit from constant and continuous conflict – war on a global scale. So, basically, when the U.S. makes war, defense contractors get rich. This is a disgrace, a farce, not at all how the persons who founded this nation intended us to be doing things. At least, that's my opinion; please don't quote me on it.”

Defense contracting is as old as war itself, a business which in the age of modern warfare and endless armed struggle has no time for or interest in maintaining freedom and democracy for an uneducated, disinterested, television-addled population. In his closing remarks before ceding the stage to Creed – a religiously-conservative music group – the aforementioned aeronautics contractor said, “Frankly, we need the general American public to stay stupid and glued to the idiot-box for five hours every day, because, otherwise, it would ask too many questions, wanting to know who keeps giving us hundreds of billions of its tax-dollars. I thank my lucky stars for the wizards who make compelling, high-drama, high-quality TV programming.”

場黑麥 mentiri factorem fecit

Grigovia boycotts Olympics

This year, in London, the long jump will be a little less joyous, and the newest sport – bouldering – will be a little more bleak. As usual, America will win the most medals overall, with Russia and China taking second and third, or vice-versa. But, this time around, there will be no fights at the horse track and no shoving amongst the women's cross-country runners, no hostels set on fire and no main subway lines shut down due to rioting on the tracks. Yes, dear friends, the 2012 Olympics, being held in Great Britain's capital, are progressing in predictably subdued fashion, with just enough controversy to hold the fickle interest of the general public and just enough flash to keep the masses from asking why their governments are spending billions on shot-put and synchronized swimming when millions of people are poor, tired, hungry, and out of work. Regular spectators of the Games have already begun to lament the omission of one shining star from the usual roster of nations – the Glorious Republic of Grigovia (GROG). A country that in the past has made strong showings in militaristic events such as track-and-field, target-shooting, archery, long-distance running, judo, karate, and break-dancing, Grigovia announced it would boycott this year's celebration of peaceful competition through sport due to the participation of the United States of America, a country which invaded the sovereign nation of Afghanistan a decade ago and which continues to occupy that mountainous, arid, and landlocked Central Asian nation.

Said Baiyal Yennd, spokesperson for the Grigovian Ministry for Athletics and Sport, Interior (MASI), in an official press release at the start of the Games, “Beyond the fact that we as nations are both mountainous, arid, and landlocked, we Grigovians condemn any fascist state that perpetrates illegal and inhumane acts of war-like aggression against sovereign peoples – especially against peoples such as the Afghanis, who live nearby. Grigovia has rich deposits of rare-earth-metals, which Western companies found in Afghanistan last year and which they have already begun to exploit. Are the Yankees coming for us next? Will they bomb us next, and maim our children next, and kill our women next, in the name of their rapacious and capitalistic world-order? Until we know that America plans to abide by resolutions passed by the United Nations and by laws passed by its own government, and that it has removed itself from any sovereign nations where it has no business being, only then will the citizens of Grigovia even consider engaging the various peoples of the world in fair and honest athletic competition.”

When the USA invaded Iraq and Afghanistan in the years following the September 11, 2001 attacks, it violated international agreements signed in the wake of victory over the Nazi Third Reich and its ally, the Japanese Empire, which had invaded sovereign nations illegally, subjugating their populations and forcing them to dance to a tune not of their choosing. By following in the footsteps of Hitler and Hirohito and committing illegal acts of aggression (which are crimes against humanity), the president of the American Union at the time, a Mr. George Walker Bush, along with complicit Houses of Congress and Senate, mislead fair Lady Liberty by spreading among peaceful peoples not goodwill and freedom but avarice and death. “We have no interest in talking to or dealing with or buying things from greedy cowards,” said Uliyana Utlennd, head of GROG's Ministry for Athletics and Sport. “Just as we boycott murderous Soviets back in 1980, and I had to wait until '84 Games to win gold in both biathlon and women's cycling, now we boycott murderous Americans in 2012. A pox be upon the enemies of freedom, democracy, and free speech.” Grigovia has made just one bid to host the Olympic Games, in 1922, backing out only after the economic crisis known as the Great Depression – which was brought about by American and European avarice that persists to this day – ruined not only the country's nascent national athletics program but also a perfectly good pair of khakis.

場黑麥 mentiri factorem fecit