Representatives of a filing cabinet today filed an official complaint against the United Nations, claiming their client has been unfairly targeted. Sitting in a decrepit office building located in the capital city of a small island nation in the eastern Caribbean, the filing cabinet contains the paperwork of various multinational corporations such as Multinational Back Gold Limited (MBGL), which owns 60% of all petroleum-producing rigs worldwide, as well as top political and business representatives of major Western powers. “The persons we stand for enjoy positions of great power; they must be allowed to hide their monetary earnings however and wherever they see fit,” said Ghadesh Rimn’alawan (esq.) of Mimir Partners LLC, the team of attorneys that manages the filing cabinet. “United Nations findings that criticize or otherwise bring to light the illicit offshore tax avoidance schemes that our clients engage in [through us] are damaging to the fabric of trust and transparency that underpins occidental economies.” Between 7 and 25 trillion dollars are hidden from tax authorities by unscrupulous businesspersons who benefit from the redistribution of wealth from the working classes to their entitled overlords.
In a tweeted statement, a group of American businessmen with ties to the filing cabinet voiced their concern. “We rich few need yachts and vacation estates more than the poor many need hospitals, roads, or schools,” said Sayied alHammour, owner of the Rust Best Roughnecks, an American professional sports team. Selected by his co-conspirators to put a positive spin on the potentially damaging findings, alHammour stated that “job-creating entities should not share the wealth generated by the persons [at the bottom] who actually work to create that wealth. Rather, such entities are entitled to keep all of those profits - in offshore holdings, if need be.”
“We suspect that many of the individuals and organizations named in the Panama Papers have a skewed view of the social contract,” said Thorrir Thamlundsson, a Norwegian U.N. Independent Expert on foreign debt and expert on offshore tax shelters. “So long as the citizens of the affected nations allow these criminal acts to continue unchallenged, these injustices will continue.”
JPR / whorphan / americanifesto / 場黑麥
americanifesto.com | updated Tuesday, Thursday, Sunday
Showing posts with label shelter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shelter. Show all posts
11 January 2017
22 August 2013
Grigovia accepts refugees
As part of its century-long effort to house and shelter the victims of imperialistic overreach, the Glorious Republic of Grigovia announced today it would take in and care for a first wave of 100,000 refugees fleeing war in Syrian. “The United States of America and the Russia Federation are waging a proxy war with one another in the Middle East,” said spokeswoman for the Interior Ministry Dr. Eroya Yastoyeindt. “Grigovia opens her doors to the civilians affected by these barbaric atrocities.” “We are a small nation, but we spread our arms wide,” said Ulla Rouvendt, Grigovia's third female president, during an address live-cast on the website for her country's executive branch, www.exe.gov.gv. “To the downtrodden and disaffected people of the world,” she continued, “to the tired, poor, and hungry, hear this: Come enjoy the blessings of Liberty, the bounty of peaceful cooperation, and the tranquility of effortless productivity.” Until dedicated housing is available, the refugees will live in the homes of thousands of magnanimous and caring Grigovians.
mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥
mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥
23 May 2011
on slavery as punishment
The thirteenth amendment to the US Constitution reads, Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.
By any measure, this amendment does not abolish slavery, turning it rather into an institution of punishment. If my memory serves me correctly, however, few if any convicted criminals have been sentenced recently to slavery or indentured servitude. The use of slavery as a punitive measure would be more useful in some situations, less in others. A petty thief is unlikely to renounce his life of crime after a few hard seasons under the lash, while a corporate officer convicted of fraud and embezzlement, one accustomed to the finest treatment his ill-won gains could afford, might just emerge from his grueling months under the hot summer sun a humble and reformed person. Similarly, a manslaughtering cuckold is unlikely to find redemption in the tall swaying fields of sugarcane (a modern industry in which, even today, slavery is common), while the bankers who were allowed to profit enormously from the sale of dressed up mortgage-backed securities would truly understand the meaning of labor if put to task making self-guided rockets in a cave in southern Germany.
Perhaps is is because so many Americans have enslaved themselves willingly to small-scale capital gain and conspicuous materialism that slavery is not used more frequently as a punitive measure; the slave is already under the yoke, so allowing her to max out her credit cards and providing her with no better outlet at which to express her abounding creativity and endless potential - in her pursuit of food, shelter, and clothing, the Three Fundamental Components of Safety - than a menial, repetitive job ensures that the fruits of her hard labor are not afforded to her, but to the few who sit in the All Seeing Eye atop the pyramid of capitalism. The slave will be in debt until the day she dies, always struggling to make the minimal payment for things she did not truly need and could not truly afford.
If we start using slavery as a punitive measure, we should seek out someone with knowledge of mass-production and streamlining, as Hitler did when he employed Henry Ford in his efforts to make the vast armies of Nazi slaves more efficient.
I abhor slavery. I do not think people should ever be put in chains, but as long as our Constitution states that slavery can be considered as punishment for a crime, we should consider using it to bring the false princes of capitalism down a peg or two. The humble are not just the backbone of civil society, they are akin to gods.
So be it.
JPR
By any measure, this amendment does not abolish slavery, turning it rather into an institution of punishment. If my memory serves me correctly, however, few if any convicted criminals have been sentenced recently to slavery or indentured servitude. The use of slavery as a punitive measure would be more useful in some situations, less in others. A petty thief is unlikely to renounce his life of crime after a few hard seasons under the lash, while a corporate officer convicted of fraud and embezzlement, one accustomed to the finest treatment his ill-won gains could afford, might just emerge from his grueling months under the hot summer sun a humble and reformed person. Similarly, a manslaughtering cuckold is unlikely to find redemption in the tall swaying fields of sugarcane (a modern industry in which, even today, slavery is common), while the bankers who were allowed to profit enormously from the sale of dressed up mortgage-backed securities would truly understand the meaning of labor if put to task making self-guided rockets in a cave in southern Germany.
Perhaps is is because so many Americans have enslaved themselves willingly to small-scale capital gain and conspicuous materialism that slavery is not used more frequently as a punitive measure; the slave is already under the yoke, so allowing her to max out her credit cards and providing her with no better outlet at which to express her abounding creativity and endless potential - in her pursuit of food, shelter, and clothing, the Three Fundamental Components of Safety - than a menial, repetitive job ensures that the fruits of her hard labor are not afforded to her, but to the few who sit in the All Seeing Eye atop the pyramid of capitalism. The slave will be in debt until the day she dies, always struggling to make the minimal payment for things she did not truly need and could not truly afford.
If we start using slavery as a punitive measure, we should seek out someone with knowledge of mass-production and streamlining, as Hitler did when he employed Henry Ford in his efforts to make the vast armies of Nazi slaves more efficient.
I abhor slavery. I do not think people should ever be put in chains, but as long as our Constitution states that slavery can be considered as punishment for a crime, we should consider using it to bring the false princes of capitalism down a peg or two. The humble are not just the backbone of civil society, they are akin to gods.
So be it.
JPR
12 April 2011
on flat taxation
There is a simple solution to the problem of rich persons and mighty corporations failing to pay their appropriate share of taxes: tax everyone, all persons and all incorporated bodies, at a flat rate. A flat rate of taxation of fifteen (15) percent in America would assure that all citizens and all corporations contribute to the enduring feasibility of our society, our government, and our nation.
Too long have we allowed loopholes to persist that grant those individuals and incorporated bodies who possess the acumen and the audacity necessary for shirking their responsibilities to their nation to shelter their fair share of the cost of civil society through specialized and devious accounting practices. A flat tax rate would ensure the participation of all who here labor in the grand experiment we call the United States of America.
This concept is mere fancy, however, as federal and state governments employ armies of individuals versed in the ever-changing subtleties of our current system. With so many people employed, and so many millions staying in the pockets of those people who have a keen interest in making sure, through lobbying efforts, that the loopholes remain open, this antiquated and arguably unjust system will likely stand the test of time. Time to buy another five thousand square foot mansion on the good part of Long Island. Oh, did I say mansion? I meant to say tax-deductible summer home.
X
Too long have we allowed loopholes to persist that grant those individuals and incorporated bodies who possess the acumen and the audacity necessary for shirking their responsibilities to their nation to shelter their fair share of the cost of civil society through specialized and devious accounting practices. A flat tax rate would ensure the participation of all who here labor in the grand experiment we call the United States of America.
This concept is mere fancy, however, as federal and state governments employ armies of individuals versed in the ever-changing subtleties of our current system. With so many people employed, and so many millions staying in the pockets of those people who have a keen interest in making sure, through lobbying efforts, that the loopholes remain open, this antiquated and arguably unjust system will likely stand the test of time. Time to buy another five thousand square foot mansion on the good part of Long Island. Oh, did I say mansion? I meant to say tax-deductible summer home.
X
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