Having vowed whenever feasible to move in the opposite direction of the United States of America (USA), the government of Glorious Republic of Grigovia (GROG) strengthened its commitment to speak the unadulterated truth to its citizens and to not use propaganda against them. “We feel it is necessary to keep our people informed, educated, and alert,” said Dr. Frederikka Velldoyend, prime minster of GROG. “When the USA ended its ban on lying to its citizens in order to spread and maintain the stranglehold it keeps on their hearts and minds – partially through the use of fluoride in drinking water and a steady supply of willpower-sapping cheap sugars and fats – we and other nations in the Confederacy of Liberated and Free Nations immediately took steps to assure our respective citizenries that we shall do our utmost to protect their trust and uphold Virtue rather than attempt to mislead them and actively destroy everything we once proclaimed to hold dear.” By ceasing its fledgling attempts to enact Justice, the government of the USA has become just another petty tyranny, joining the ranks of Nazi Germany, Soviet Russia, and Pinochet's Chile.
© americanifesto / 場黑麥
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Showing posts with label tyranny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tyranny. Show all posts
27 September 2013
15 April 2013
CDC - DEA joint venture
Working closely with specialists in Atlanta, Georgia, the Drug Enforcement Agency's (DEA) top brass has expanded its rules and guidelines for regulating nearly every aspect of the lives of average Americans. In addition to persecuting individuals who affect the body with drugs, the tyranny-minded DEA is adding a suite of new parameters for regulating and punishing persons who have excess or insufficient body weight, strange or unconventional haircuts (such as the mullet, Iroquois, or tonsure), tattoos and other bodily modifications such as facial piercings, poor dental health, or an overall lack of proper hygiene. While it already has the power to force the People to take any pills they may not have been taking, to force them to eat their recommended daily allowance of fiber, and to make sure they do not exceed their weekly ration of hard spirits, this most recent expansion of the DEA's power surprises no one – not anarchists, not neo-anarchists, not even communists, socialists, republicans, neo-republicans, libertarians, nihilists, or vegans.
Said DEA junior press agent Yhett Redunindab, ”It has long been legal for the individual to cut off his nipples, to seal those nipples in airtight containers, and to insert and display the severed discs of flesh in translucent plugs that fill his stretched-out earlobes – but no more. Upon consideration, we, and our infallible colleagues at the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), concluded that such external disfigurement is no different than the internal disfigurement caused by smoking dope or snorting crank, and that, therefore, we can punish anyone who should remove and display his man-teats in such fashion.” An information packet handed out after the briefing outlined additional regulations, such as a prohibition on tattooing designs other than those approved by one's state legislature, the outlawing of religious attire (bonnet, habit, or hijab) by women, the forced consumption of one's recommended daily allotment of pork, and bans on bulimia, obesity, sloth, jaundice, and the wearing of baggy or sagging pants, shirts that bunch up in the back, popped collars, magenta-colored silk blouses, and socks that are visible above the shoe-rim.
“If a person should think she can just go out and get a unicorn design cut with ink into her left forearm, that person would be thinking wrong,” said Mr. Redunindab while being escorted by heavily-armed civilian contractors to a row of idling black vehicles. “The body is not the individual's property to do with as she pleases, nor do the parameters of Liberty cover activities such as mainlining horse or not eating healthily while within the privacy of one's home. We are watching, we are listening, we do not need warrants, and we shall be making sure that everyone plays to whichever tune we decide, arbitrarily, is best.” When asked how he thought the public would respond once they found out the extent to which the federal and state governments were violating the Constitutional directive to secure the Blessings of Liberty equally to each and every citizen, the agent simply pointed to the individual who had asked the question and laughed as two unsmiling, teeth-grinding contractors dragged her by the hair and threw her in a nearby river.
場黑麥 mentiri factorem fecit
Said DEA junior press agent Yhett Redunindab, ”It has long been legal for the individual to cut off his nipples, to seal those nipples in airtight containers, and to insert and display the severed discs of flesh in translucent plugs that fill his stretched-out earlobes – but no more. Upon consideration, we, and our infallible colleagues at the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), concluded that such external disfigurement is no different than the internal disfigurement caused by smoking dope or snorting crank, and that, therefore, we can punish anyone who should remove and display his man-teats in such fashion.” An information packet handed out after the briefing outlined additional regulations, such as a prohibition on tattooing designs other than those approved by one's state legislature, the outlawing of religious attire (bonnet, habit, or hijab) by women, the forced consumption of one's recommended daily allotment of pork, and bans on bulimia, obesity, sloth, jaundice, and the wearing of baggy or sagging pants, shirts that bunch up in the back, popped collars, magenta-colored silk blouses, and socks that are visible above the shoe-rim.
“If a person should think she can just go out and get a unicorn design cut with ink into her left forearm, that person would be thinking wrong,” said Mr. Redunindab while being escorted by heavily-armed civilian contractors to a row of idling black vehicles. “The body is not the individual's property to do with as she pleases, nor do the parameters of Liberty cover activities such as mainlining horse or not eating healthily while within the privacy of one's home. We are watching, we are listening, we do not need warrants, and we shall be making sure that everyone plays to whichever tune we decide, arbitrarily, is best.” When asked how he thought the public would respond once they found out the extent to which the federal and state governments were violating the Constitutional directive to secure the Blessings of Liberty equally to each and every citizen, the agent simply pointed to the individual who had asked the question and laughed as two unsmiling, teeth-grinding contractors dragged her by the hair and threw her in a nearby river.
場黑麥 mentiri factorem fecit
03 December 2012
child sues president
Upon reading the Constitution to the United States of America for the first time in her second-period civics class, 11 year old doll enthusiast and life-long Illinois resident Georgette Jeane Yarbroshnikov filed suit against president Barack Hussein Obama. Citing in her case the commander in chief's wanton disregard for the role clearly spelled out for him in the Constitution, our nation's second-most important document after the Declaration of Independence, Ms. Yarbroshnikov also referenced Common Law, the law of the forest, and the law of the preservation of energy to dismiss the president's more heavy-handed actions, among them the signing of the National Defense Authorization Act of 2012 and his continuing insistence on killing Americans and foreign citizens alike via drone-strike.
“There is an old saying that goes something like this,” Georgette said during a press conference held in her older brother's ramshackle tree-fort out by Mr. Eth's pond. “Before I forget, though, please don't tell my brother we were in here, because he'd get pissed at me and torch my doll's clothes again. Anyway, the saying is: 'It is so obvious even a kid could see it,' or similar. What it means is that our sitting president's actions constitute continuing, glaring, and brazen assaults on the fabric of this nation's democracy; his persecution of non-violent marijuana users alone is a crude erosion of the Constitution's very preamble, in which it states that the role of government is to secure for us all – commonly and individually – the Blessings of Liberty. Do no-knock raids and the levying of prison sentences and fines against peaceful drug consumers sound like the Blessings of Liberty to you? No, not to me, either. In fact, they sound like full-blown tyranny.”
To the surprise of prominent law professors, activist judges, and officials at the falsely-named Department of Justice, Ms. Yarbroshnikov's suit has proceeded past the lower court of Illinois, its progression to the Supreme Court all but assured. “Not only are the young lady's arguments slick, concise, and well-written, she makes a compelling case against many of Mr. Obama's actions as president,” said Dr. Theobald D. Kluff, former dean of the Southern Poverty Law Center. “It is not for a lack of trying that we have not been able to check and balance the various branches of government according to the Constitution. Believe me, we have been concerned with presidential power-grabbing since Mr. George W. Bush started going overboard in the aftermath of the 11 September 2001 attacks on New York, Washington D.C., and Pennsylvania, but we have not been willing to spell things out so clearly. My hat goes off to this young lady.” Although Georgette's lawsuit does not specify punishment beyond a harsh, public scolding and increased scrutiny of the president's future behavior, rulings from previous cases – among them Winnifeld v. Stone and Hsu v. Gonzales – show that such cases can have teeth, and are nothing to be scoffed at.
mentiri factorem fecit © 場黑麥
“There is an old saying that goes something like this,” Georgette said during a press conference held in her older brother's ramshackle tree-fort out by Mr. Eth's pond. “Before I forget, though, please don't tell my brother we were in here, because he'd get pissed at me and torch my doll's clothes again. Anyway, the saying is: 'It is so obvious even a kid could see it,' or similar. What it means is that our sitting president's actions constitute continuing, glaring, and brazen assaults on the fabric of this nation's democracy; his persecution of non-violent marijuana users alone is a crude erosion of the Constitution's very preamble, in which it states that the role of government is to secure for us all – commonly and individually – the Blessings of Liberty. Do no-knock raids and the levying of prison sentences and fines against peaceful drug consumers sound like the Blessings of Liberty to you? No, not to me, either. In fact, they sound like full-blown tyranny.”
To the surprise of prominent law professors, activist judges, and officials at the falsely-named Department of Justice, Ms. Yarbroshnikov's suit has proceeded past the lower court of Illinois, its progression to the Supreme Court all but assured. “Not only are the young lady's arguments slick, concise, and well-written, she makes a compelling case against many of Mr. Obama's actions as president,” said Dr. Theobald D. Kluff, former dean of the Southern Poverty Law Center. “It is not for a lack of trying that we have not been able to check and balance the various branches of government according to the Constitution. Believe me, we have been concerned with presidential power-grabbing since Mr. George W. Bush started going overboard in the aftermath of the 11 September 2001 attacks on New York, Washington D.C., and Pennsylvania, but we have not been willing to spell things out so clearly. My hat goes off to this young lady.” Although Georgette's lawsuit does not specify punishment beyond a harsh, public scolding and increased scrutiny of the president's future behavior, rulings from previous cases – among them Winnifeld v. Stone and Hsu v. Gonzales – show that such cases can have teeth, and are nothing to be scoffed at.
mentiri factorem fecit © 場黑麥
15 April 2012
CDC & DEA announce joint venture
Working closely with specialists in Atlanta, Georgia, the Drug Enforcement Agency's (DEA) top brass has expanded its rules and guidelines for regulating nearly every aspect of Americans' lives. In addition to persecuting individuals who affect the body with drugs, the tyranny-minded DEA is adding a suite of new parameters for regulating and punishing persons with excess or insufficient body weight, strange or unconventional haircuts (think mullet, Iroquois, and tonsure), tattoos and other bodily modifications, poor dental health, and an overall lack of proper hygiene. While it already has the power to force the People to take any pills they may not have been taking, and to make sure that they are eating their recommended daily allowance of fiber and grains, and to make sure they do not exceed their weekly ration of hard spirits, this most recent expansion of the DEA's power surprises no one – not anarchists, not neo-anarchists, not even communists, socialists, republicans, neo-republicans, libertarians, nihilists, or vegans.
Said DEA junior press agent Yhett Redunindab, ”It has long been legal for the individual to cut off his nipples, to seal those nipples in airtight containers, and to insert and display the severed discs of flesh in translucent plugs that fill his stretched-out earlobes – but no more. Upon consideration, we, and our fabulous colleagues at the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), concluded that such external disfigurement is no different than the internal disfigurement caused by smoking dope or snorting crank, and that, therefore, we can punish anyone who should remove and display his man-teats in such fashion, and anyone doing anything of which we do not personally approve.” An information packet handed out after the briefing outlined additional regulations, such as a prohibition on tattooing designs other than those approved by one's state legislature, an outlawing of the wearing of religious attire (such as the bonnet, the habit, or the hijab) by women, the forced consumption of one's recommended daily allotment of pork, and bans on bulimia, obesity, sloth, jaundice, and the wearing of baggy or sagging pants, shirts that bunch up in the back, popped collars, magenta-colored silk blouses, and socks that are visible above the shoe-rim.
“If a person should think she can just go out and get a unicorn design cut with ink into her left forearm, that person would be thinking wrong,” Mr. Redunindab said while being escorted by heavily-armed civilian contractors to a row of idling black vehicles. “The body is not the individual's property to do with as she pleases, nor do the parameters of Liberty cover activities such as mainlining horse or not eating healthily while within the privacy of one's home. We are watching, we are listening, we do not need warrants, and we shall be making sure that everyone plays to whichever tune we decide, arbitrarily, is best.” When asked how he thought the public would respond once they found out the extent to which the federal and state governments were violating the Constitutional directive to secure the Blessings of Liberty equally to each and every citizen, the agent simply pointed to the individual who had asked the question and laughed as two unsmiling, teeth-grinding contractors dragged her by the hair and threw her in a nearby river.
場黑麥 mentiri factorem fecit
Said DEA junior press agent Yhett Redunindab, ”It has long been legal for the individual to cut off his nipples, to seal those nipples in airtight containers, and to insert and display the severed discs of flesh in translucent plugs that fill his stretched-out earlobes – but no more. Upon consideration, we, and our fabulous colleagues at the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), concluded that such external disfigurement is no different than the internal disfigurement caused by smoking dope or snorting crank, and that, therefore, we can punish anyone who should remove and display his man-teats in such fashion, and anyone doing anything of which we do not personally approve.” An information packet handed out after the briefing outlined additional regulations, such as a prohibition on tattooing designs other than those approved by one's state legislature, an outlawing of the wearing of religious attire (such as the bonnet, the habit, or the hijab) by women, the forced consumption of one's recommended daily allotment of pork, and bans on bulimia, obesity, sloth, jaundice, and the wearing of baggy or sagging pants, shirts that bunch up in the back, popped collars, magenta-colored silk blouses, and socks that are visible above the shoe-rim.
“If a person should think she can just go out and get a unicorn design cut with ink into her left forearm, that person would be thinking wrong,” Mr. Redunindab said while being escorted by heavily-armed civilian contractors to a row of idling black vehicles. “The body is not the individual's property to do with as she pleases, nor do the parameters of Liberty cover activities such as mainlining horse or not eating healthily while within the privacy of one's home. We are watching, we are listening, we do not need warrants, and we shall be making sure that everyone plays to whichever tune we decide, arbitrarily, is best.” When asked how he thought the public would respond once they found out the extent to which the federal and state governments were violating the Constitutional directive to secure the Blessings of Liberty equally to each and every citizen, the agent simply pointed to the individual who had asked the question and laughed as two unsmiling, teeth-grinding contractors dragged her by the hair and threw her in a nearby river.
場黑麥 mentiri factorem fecit
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