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Showing posts with label sloth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sloth. Show all posts

22 December 2017

sweet-tooth actually diabetes

Contrary to popular belief, the delight with which local resident Horace J. Winston consumes sweets is not due to a sweet-tooth of yore. In fact, his endocrinological system - having been subjected to decades of frequent alcohol consumption combined with a sedentary lifestyle - is now struggling to adequately regulate Winston’s blood-glucose levels. Unless he makes drastic changes in his daily patterns and habits within the next couple of years, his condition will be exacerbated, and worsen.

On an average day, Horace consumes at least five beers in one sitting, two meals of primarily meats and cheeses; he drives nearly everywhere he must go, walking only a few miles cumulatively. (In secret, Winston knows something is amiss inside but chooses to blame it on the common cold or changes in the weather.)


No one in his circle of friends or relatives appears concerned about the Winston’s fate, however, since they are clueless to the signs of onsetting diabetes and themselves engaged heavily in both sloth and overindulgence. With health insurance priced out of his reach, Horace will also not be seeing a doctor, anytime soon.

americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan ] 

02 May 2012

on May-Day 2012

Awaken, slumbering masses of the world, and unite as one! Today is our day, and this year is our year. Let us read the Communist Manifesto, and the Declaration of Independence, gaining from their few pages such common purpose as to unite us all. Let us fight, side by side, to secure the rights that we liberated and emancipated persons deserve equally. Let us combat corruption, avarice, sloth, and pride – first in our own lives, then in our families, communities, societies, and nations. Let us foster a spirit of cooperation, a zeal for self-sacrifice, a yearning for self-sufficiency, and a love for all things living and inert – first in our own lives, then in our families, communities, societies, and nations.

Together, friends, together we can beat back the rising tide of hatred and discontent that still threatens to swamp our hearts with fear; together, we can rid the world of the pettiness of conspicuous consumption, of the cruelty of wage-slavery, and of the fallacy of unchecked environmental degradation; together, we can truly make of many, one, of all the different peoples of this earth One People sharing equally – with full stomachs, clothed backs, and bright and shining smiles – of her lush and abundant gifts. So, on this perfect, sunny Spring day, let us fill our hearts with joy, basking in the glow of our growing righteous fury.

Mahalo.

場黑麥 mentiri factorem fecit

26 March 2012

supplementary info from abcmouse.com!


Parents! Are your kids still sitting around in front of that other flat-screen monitor watching poisonous and boring programming? Is their health in decline, and do they show signs of extreme boredom? Are you looking for a way to keep them tethered to their tiny, imported, colorful plastic chairs, and glued to the Flickering Idiot Box of Self-Enslavement? We at abcmouse.com know that America's parents are looking for ways to further destroy their children's health and latent creativity; we also know just how counter fucking productive it is to encourage children to physically exit the home and to play outside in rapist-infested, germ-laden, terror-inspiring community parks.

To make sure your kid falls behind in school, that she develops early-on diseases such as diabetes, obesity, and social anxiety disorder, and that she leads a generally depressing and unsatisfying life, we at abcmouse.com have developed a suite of Internet-based games that will guide your child's bursting mind back into the browbeaten channels of rigid conformity so sought for by today's pre- and elementary school recruiters. You will marvel at your son's stunted and incomplete problem-solving skills, and his airy and dismissive manner will make you smile! You will cry out with joy upon seeing your daughter charge headlong into a storied career as the local checkout-girl (once, of course, she obtains her GED following the birth of her fourth child by three different men).

If you are so incompetent as to switch to using our service, if you have given up trying to teach things to your child or to mold her into a virtuous and self-sufficient individual to the extent that you cannot see through our crude lie, then you shall surely not understand that switching from one screen to the next makes no difference at all, and that diverting your kid's attention from the television to our website is lost and wasted effort. So come on by, parents of America, and rot your kids' brains at our site, not at the site of some “different” company.

場黑麥 ioanni elymucampus fecit