sweet-tooth actually diabetes

Contrary to popular belief, the delight with which local resident Horace J. Winston consumes sweets is not due to a sweet-tooth of yore. In fact, his endocrinological system - having been subjected to decades of frequent alcohol consumption combined with a sedentary lifestyle - is now struggling to adequately regulate Winston’s blood-glucose levels. Unless he makes drastic changes in his daily patterns and habits within the next couple of years, his condition will be exacerbated, and worsen.

On an average day, Horace consumes at least five beers in one sitting, two meals of primarily meats and cheeses; he drives nearly everywhere he must go, walking only a few miles cumulatively. (In secret, Winston knows something is amiss inside but chooses to blame it on the common cold or changes in the weather.)

No one in his circle of friends or relatives appears concerned about the Winston’s fate, however, since they are clueless to the signs of onsetting diabetes and themselves engaged heavily in both sloth and overindulgence. With health insurance priced out of his reach, Horace will also not be seeing a doctor, anytime soon.

[ americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan ] ​

tardigrade cosmonaut honored

During a brief ceremony held in a former outdoor smoking shelter behind the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pastor Tina, CA, scientists preparing for an impending launch stood still during a moment of silence ahead of the upcoming launch of a hearty tardigrade. Selected from a group of other hypsibius gagarinorum, the tiny traveler, like intrepid Laika before it, was chosen due to a proven ability to survive in harsh conditions such as extreme cold and prolonged deprivation. Exploiting the animal’s natural cryptobiosis, or suspended metabolism, gives NASA scientists hope that at least one hypsibius gagarinorum tun will reach another star system, most likely the cluster humans call Alpha Centauri.

[ americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan ]