second amendment suspended

In response to scores of mass shootings in recent months, the legislative bodies of the United States suspended the inalienable right of people to arm themselves. Taking precedent from the Sedition Acts of 1798 and 1918, which did away with the freedom of speech in America, both houses of Congress passed laws forbidding the possession or use of a firearm by anyone other than active-duty military personnel (while they are on a military base and in uniform).

In response to widespread criticisms, chairperson of the Republican party Ronna McDaniel said in a telephone interview, “Y’all got used to us taking away your natural right to speak freely. You’ll get used to us having taken away your god-given right to arm yourselves, too.” Groups across the United States initiated lawsuits to challenge the Specifical Unilateral Firearm Suppression Act (i.e. SpUFS, Pub.L. 98-102, 20 Stat. 228), many of them representing hunters and the makers of weapons. “This poppycock won’t stand the test of time,” said Rufus T. Glanstone III, a lobbyist for the National Rifle Association (NRA), which represents firearm manufacturers.

In a statement, president Trump (who signed the bill into law) initially criticized SpUFS, then seemed to support it, then changed his mind and called it “garbage,” then said it would help “assure law and order,” then said he’d have to talk to his advisors before ultimately making up his mind about the whole thing. For the most part, however, life continued unchanged across America, as only a quarter of citizens own firearms and even fewer understand that the federal government already violated their sacred, inalienable right to free speech 230 years ago.

[This is a work of satire. No part of this work is to be taken as a factual representation of the opinions of the persons quoted or of conditions within the American republic. No persons were interviewed and all quotes are purely fictional. For more information on the rights inherent to all humans - rights which no government can either grant nor rescind - peruse the links provided, see here, or do your own research.]

[ americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan ]

on Our forsaken Rights

  Citizens of America: We, the People of this land are at a crossroads, pausing now to decide whether to abandon our constitutional protections or to speak out against their destruction. Not long ago, an American named Anwar al-Awlaki was killed by his government without being first sentenced in a court of the United States. This latest action should not take us by surprise - the federal government (fed) has taken away our liberty by passing the Controlled Substances Act, legislation that robs us of the inalienable Right to live however we might decide to live; it has already violated our privacy and our properties via the Patriot Act, legislation that allows for unwarranted intrusions into previously protected domains.
  Now the fed has proven willing to take also our lives without so much as a by your leave. Life, liberty, and property are supposedly immutable rights supposedly protected under the 14th Amendment to the Constitution; they cannot be taken from the person individually, let alone from the People as a whole, without each individual facing the due and deliberate process of law, so that her liberty might be taken from her. (It can take years to revoke a man's right to life, with that man fighting every step to retain his sacred prize; the same process must take place, on an individual level, to revoke a person's liberty or property.) Now that the fed has proven a willingness to take freely our lives, let us honestly acknowledge that we no longer live in the country designed by the Constitution, that we can no longer expect reason from our overlords, that we sat back in quiet resignation and watched as our country was gutted from within.
  In truth, however, the American People have no protection from the overreaches of their federal government: while the 14th Amendment protects us from violations performed by the States, the Constitution does not protect our lives, our liberty, or our property, from violations done by federal hand.

  We witness with the death of al-Awlaki the unwarranted termination of American life. We witness with the Controlled Substances Act the unwarranted termination of American liberty. We witness with the Patriot Act the unwarranted termination of American privacy, and the unwarranted invasion of American property. Our inalienable Rights are being casually tossed out the window, and we sit here, helpless, smiling to hide the despair.
  Look not to Hope, for she has left these lands - with her she took Happiness, both laughing at our plans.

Ultima Ratio Regum - 場黑麥 John Paul Roggenkamp