drones over America

As a sign of mutual respect amongst nations and an attempt by the U.S.A. to prove her dedication to multilateral cooperation with her foreign allies, the Obama administration granted the armed forces of Yemen, Pakistan, and Afghanistan the right to assassinate suspected enemies living or residing in America. “It was not enough for us to provide financial and material support to these, our allied nations,” said president Barack Obama at a press conference held in unseasonably warm weather out in the Rose Garden. “Therefore, we will reciprocate our ability to kill persons we merely suspect of wishing to do us harm who are living in the rugged hills of Kundus or the jumbled suburbs of Aden by giving our allies the ability to rain death from the skies anywhere from Spokane to Bangor, from the Twin Cities to Corpus Christi – basically from sea to shining sea. Our allies now share with us the right bring their foes to justice, wantonly and without oversight, in blatant violation of international law and a half dozen different treaties, just as we continue to do, today.”

In preparation for this significant policy shift, foreign soldiers by the thousands have been arriving quietly on Ynki shores through various ports of entry. Traveling exclusively by night in blacked-out military convoys, the newcomers only got a glimpse of non-military American culture before they arrived at far-flung, mostly secluded Air Force bases, to begin training. “Through a loose flap at the back of this truck, I saw a woman driving a car with her shoulders exposed,” said Garnush Muhammed, a lieutenant in the People's Army of Afghanistan (Air Division), who comes from Herat. “The sight of her has offended my religious sensibilities; I shall talk to my superior about annihilating her, and her family,” he said, smiling kindly. Many of the other soldiers we interviewed expressed excitement about their new role, but also trepidation. “My brother and his children were killed by a terrorist group funded in part by hard-line Islamic extremists living in the western region of an area known as Oklahoma,” said flight group leader Esto Buiyeh of the Yemeni National Air Defense Wing. “I hope I will be stationed within range of their meeting hall; I hope to pilot the done that bombs it into ruin, killing everyone inside. With god's blessing, it will be so.”

President Obama and a slight majority of Congressional Democrats approved the measures, citing in part the fact that America has already violated every virtuous ideal it might have once stood for. “Look,” said Harry Reid, (D) Nevada. “We have stood by these past few years as the president approved the killing of foreigners and Americans not convicted in any court, not condemned by any judge. Is it so much of a stretch that we are now allowing foreigners – good foreigners, mind you, ones with whom we have friendly relations, ones trained by our allies – to operate a few drones over a couple of cities here in the homeland? Relax, people – if you've done nothing wrong, you have nothing to worry about.” The first missiles fired from drones by foreigners operating on American soil have already begun to fall, mostly as part of military training exercises. “Would you look at that,” said major-general Rick P. Snolpe, of the United States Air Force, as a he watched a missile fired by a Pakistani pilot destroy a remote-controlled school bus. “These little brown fuckers can shoot.” Washington has mailed out fliers to Americans who may be targeted by state-sanctioned foreign aggression; the pamphlets read, simply: “Run, but don't expect to hide.”

mentiri factorem fecit © 場黑麥