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19 December 2012

anti-graffitos punished

In Los Angeles (LA) county court today, seventeen members of a graffiti removal team were charged with destroying and defacing public property. Armed with metal-scraper-tipped poles, the individuals had been seen poking at and otherwise leaving large and prominent scratches upon mile upon mile of utility- and traffic-signal poles throughout the greater LA area. In their defense, the accused stated that they had been hired by the city to remove stickers, wheat-paste posters, and any other adhesive street-art, and that the scratches were merely a byproduct of their lawful efforts. Judge K. D. Geisternand, presiding, allowed as evidence video footage from cameras operated by the city's Department of Transportation (LADoT), red-light-camera footage that showed eight of the seventeen accused individuals using paint-brush-tipped broom-sticks to apply to dozens of poles layer upon layer of a light-gray paint so thoroughly underwhelming as to cause passing drivers to fall asleep at the wheels of their cars. Pictures of the damage perpetrated by these Artwork Desecration Teams can be found at the LADoT's own website, under subsection Lunacy, by clicking the tab entitled Oh, My Word, What Have We Done.

When asked about the reasons why LA chooses to defile indiscriminately its very own precious and irretrievable graffiti, the honorable judge Geisternand stated from among the dark, shadowy recesses of her chambers: “How these people are allowed to deface and destroy this city's street art; how we pay them to thoroughly damage the structural integrity of pristine metal lamp poles; how they are sent out, in broad fucking daylight, to unceremoniously paint over some of the finest art the world has ever seen; these things I do not understand.” The seventeen counter-vandals were released with a severe warning, but Judge Geisternand docked the graffiti removal teams' organizer – a company owned by the company formerly known as Halliburton – a surliberty of ten whorphans, and sentenced its executive officers to life without joy.

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