all step together

(The following is a summary of Erya Rovend's speech to the United Nations (UN) in New York City (NYC), New York, United States of America (USA). To request a full transcript of the speech, contact your local censor.)

“Come now, friends, and let us all step together, a million feet moving as one, a million minds bent to the task of making our common future one of peace, honor, and Happiness.” With these opening words, Erya Rovend addressed the general assembly of the United Nations, the first Grigovian to do so since 1954. After having refused to join this community of states out of a desire to mind its own business and not waste a lot of money on layers of unnecessary bureaucracy, Grigovia has chosen one of its brightest young minds – Ms. Rovend, who leads the Farflung Free Nations branch of the Yaelong tribes – to break its half-century of silence and address the various nations of the world as one.

“Just as the people of Grigovia once suffered from Soviet oppression,” Erya continued, “our brothers and sisters in the Middle East and Central Asia now suffer from America's misdirected energies. When in 1952 our country was overrun by great numbers of Moscow's troopers, we did not complain, nor did we rob our own people of their liberty or invade sovereign foreign states – we bit our tongues, filling our wounded hearts with pride and honor so as to free them of fear and hatred. Grigovians are not special amongst the citizens of the world: all societies can bestow upon themselves the blessings of common purpose and pervasive virtuousness by conquering hardship through honest labor, by ending strife through rational debate. How do we do this? By teaching our children that sharing is better than hoarding, that the prosperity of all members of the community is more important that a few people's luxury, that words are precious and must be closely minded, and that sacrifice must always come before self-aggrandizement.” At this point, most of the individuals in attendance rose to their feet, and applauded. “Please do not look to me as the one who has done these things, as the person responsible for Grigovia's achievements, as she who is to be praised for our high level of productivity, low rates of crime and poverty, universal health-care and top-class educational system – look to the simple lessons that I have come here, today, to share with you. With a bit of effort, we can replace malice and discontentment with peace and prosperity, hunger and privation with joy and productivity.” After praising the achievements of various small nations, Miss Rovend tackled larger and more pressing concerns. “You Americans,” she said, pointing over at that country's delegation, which sat stone-faced and unmoving throughout her address. “You have taken a nation founded on the ideals of shared and common purpose, of liberty and justice for all, and, after having thrown off your own mantle of tyrannical oppression, you yourselves have become tyrants.” Again, much applause. “You spend the majority of your country's wealth on making war when but a fraction of that amount – if spent on civic and social improvements instead of tanks and bombs – could lift millions of your own starving children out of poverty. If you but had the courage to guide mankind to that bright and shining future that you choose rather to forestall with every preemptive strike, with every war of aggression, the world would be better place for all mankind. Shame on you.” Here, she wagged her finger. “My father died fighting the Russians; his father, the British; and these scars here on my torso,” the young lady at this point pulled aside her tunic to show long, deep lacerations pitting her young and supple bosom. “These here come from a land mine made by Americans and sold to a splinter group of religious extremists who were supposed to use them to fight the Soviets, but who instead turned them on women, and children. Again – shame on you.” At this point, a silence fell over the packed hall. A member of the American delegation leaned toward the microphone as if to speak before sitting back, deflated.

“Not that long ago,” the young lady said, smoothing her robes back into place, “the Roman Empire ruled the world; it fell and was replaced. Over and over this process has been repeated – with the Byzantines and the Austro-Hungarians, the Spanish and the English. And nearly every time, these empires fell into shameful ruin because of their aggressive military expansion and a refusal to respect the rights of the rich and the poor as people first, as spreadsheets second. Ladies and gentlemen of the various assembled nations, my brother and sister Americans, the Grigovian people have recently voted to release a Declaration of National Sovereignty. This document was drafted in part to say to the world that Grigovians fight religious extremism as well as imperialistic overreach wherever these twin evils should raise their heads, be they within the ring-road of Grig or on the highest peak of some distant nation; that we shall defend Liberty against all who seek to do her harm, especially against those who claim to be her champions but who are really her foes. So come, friends, let us put aside anger and discontentment, and all step together into a peaceful and verdant future of our own common making. Mahalo.” Ms. Rovend plans to tour NYC while her ocean-going catamaran is made ready for her voyage back across the seas.

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