haiku 1 Nov 2018

Are there team players

Who play for the other team
Without knowing it?

americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan ]

Grigovian team deployed

At the behest of the Arab League and with the intention of helping end the civil war in Syria, the Glorious Republic of Grigovia sent a highly decorated team of veteran negotiators to bring both sides of the conflict to the table. “In addition to the team of negotiators, other Grigovian teams will be helping to patrol Syria's borders in order to prevent more Saudi Arabian black operations teams from launching any more gas attacks against innocent civilians,” said Heirdoyesst Ont, head of Grigovia's Foreign Assistance Board. Experts expect the war in Syria to end only when American, British, and Israeli intervention in the internal conflict also ends.

© americanifesto / 場黑麥

on UNUBG

Have you seen on television United Nations soldiers standing around in hot, impoverished places with blue helmets on their heads? Have you ever wished you could shake the hands of these bored-looking people and thank them for their service? If so, keep an eye out in your own neighborhood for a member of the United Nation's Urban Beautification Group (UNUBG), which is a loose affiliation of self-directed urban beautification specialists (SDUBS) licensed under a mandate from the U.N. Special Assembly for the Perpetration and Preservation of Street Art (SAPPSA) to apply their graffiti on any otherwise unadorned and drab-looking public surface.

You will identify these SDUBS by their patented blue UN windbreakers and by a rambunctious spirit common among today's young people. But act quickly, because the SDUBS who are executing Operation Coverall (OPCOV) in cities and towns across the globe are wily and suspicious individuals who strike hard and fade away into the night. This is the first graffiti campaign to be waged by an international body; it is the most aggressive and best-financed street art campaign ever launched, to date. Authorized last year by an executive mandate signed by Ban Ki Moon himself, OPCOV has been criticized by civic leaders and property-owners alike, who claim that the action infringes upon their right to own and to erect structures of boring and repetitive design.

Supreme Leader Moon says that he mistakenly authorized Operation Coverall when he signed a document that he thought was a birthday card for a niece. He claims to have never before heard of SDUBS, or of graffiti.

mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥

anti-graffitos punished

In Los Angeles (LA) county court today, seventeen members of a graffiti removal team were charged with destroying and defacing public property. Armed with metal-scraper-tipped poles, the individuals had been seen poking at and otherwise leaving large and prominent scratches upon mile upon mile of utility- and traffic-signal poles throughout the greater LA area. In their defense, the accused stated that they had been hired by the city to remove stickers, wheat-paste posters, and any other adhesive street-art, and that the scratches were merely a byproduct of their lawful efforts. Judge K. D. Geisternand, presiding, allowed as evidence video footage from cameras operated by the city's Department of Transportation (LADoT), red-light-camera footage that showed eight of the seventeen accused individuals using paint-brush-tipped broom-sticks to apply to dozens of poles layer upon layer of a light-gray paint so thoroughly underwhelming as to cause passing drivers to fall asleep at the wheels of their cars. Pictures of the damage perpetrated by these Artwork Desecration Teams can be found at the LADoT's own website, under subsection Lunacy, by clicking the tab entitled Oh, My Word, What Have We Done.

When asked about the reasons why LA chooses to defile indiscriminately its very own precious and irretrievable graffiti, the honorable judge Geisternand stated from among the dark, shadowy recesses of her chambers: “How these people are allowed to deface and destroy this city's street art; how we pay them to thoroughly damage the structural integrity of pristine metal lamp poles; how they are sent out, in broad fucking daylight, to unceremoniously paint over some of the finest art the world has ever seen; these things I do not understand.” The seventeen counter-vandals were released with a severe warning, but Judge Geisternand docked the graffiti removal teams' organizer – a company owned by the company formerly known as Halliburton – a surliberty of ten whorphans, and sentenced its executive officers to life without joy.

場黑麥 ioanni elymucampus fecit