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Showing posts with label only. Show all posts
Showing posts with label only. Show all posts

04 August 2017

merry sticky Xmas

A troupe calling itself the Washington D.C. Icebound Extreme Dancers (IED) is looking for a venue to house its production of the wintertime tale of Ebenezer Scrooge, from Charles Dickens’s ‘A Christmas Carol’. An adult-only, x-rated take on the classic childhood favorite, the IED production is being shopped around under the working title of The Explosive Redemption of Ebenezer Splooge.

Marketing the production has proven difficult, given Americans’ dislike for public mentions of sexuality and a nearly universal lack of interest in watching ice-skating people have sex. IED is open to the community’s suggestions, and concerns.

Despite a handful of lawsuits, the troupe insists that the production is not porography but high art.

americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan

14 November 2016

whites only oenotheque


Tired of dark-hued, reddish wines? Looking for a place where only whites are served - the finest, most pure whites around? If so, come on down to Whites Only Oenotheque on Jackson Avenue and Union Street for a fine selection of Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio, Riesling, and Sauvignon Blanc wines. Rest assured - no coloreds dare darken our reclaimed barn-wood countertop, threatening to besmudge the white leather seats of our hand-made, wrought-iron barstools. It’s whites only all day from the first drop poured to the last sip taken. Most of our wines are grown, fermented, and bottled right here in the United States of America. Each of our wonderful domestic whites comes with a certified paper of origin, and all imported whites undergo thorough vetting and approval procedures at the hands of trained technicians before departure and upon arrival. Don’t bring anything into your home even a shade darker than the best, finest, provenly superior white! Travel-proof and inconspicuous ‘Bagged & Boxed’ white wines now available for discerning but economically disadvantaged customers who insist upon quality whites at a fair price. There’s something for every checkbook at Whites Only Oenotheque in downtown Durham, North Carolina - stop in today!

© JPR / whorphan / americanifesto / 場黑麥