In the face of both non-existent demand for its product as well as a lack of nefarious dealings in-country about which to write, the Grigovian branch of the News of Today ceased operations. A British paper that specializes in hyping up scandal and reporting the world's celebrities, News of Today's owner, Randall Winsloam Cunningham III, conceded economic defeat. “The people of Grigovia mind their own business,” Cunningham said. “They care about things such as beauty and self-respect; they live according to rules of honesty and competence written in no book, codified in no proclamation, but stemming from good parenting and a dedication to be a sound-minded and proud people. We tried our best, but we just can't seem to sell them images of dolled-up celebrities or candy-floss reports of the latest trends in pop culture.” Upon hearing the news, ten score Grigovian teenage girls immediately signed up for wilderness survival training.
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