Aftermath

He finds himself, now one week after being dumped by the closest he's ever found to a perfect match, coming to terms with the whole rotten situation. he's been destructive since then, what with getting piss-drunk the night before and forgetting to brush his teeth. every thing else aside, this was by far the worst. go to the fucking dentist, he told himself. it's not hard, call the fuckers, set up an appointment, and go. you could die tomorrow, but at least have nice teeth. they could fuck you later on, disease and cancer raining down on the body. go fix them. now. or at least one Monday. Why did she do it? i think i know. i tell myself i understand the reason, but trying to explain it to people just makes me feel stupid, and I start questioning myself. I don't want to just be a friend, so i won't call or write as one. I want to be lover, fuckbuddy, partner, maybe husband. but not just friend. i won' fuck myself out of any of the other labels. i guess it's a pride thing.
SO why did she? she says that she never took the time to confront the post-marriage stress, never let herself grieve over the lost time, sacrificed feelings, the emotionless cunt of a man whom she married. Why can i not just bounce back? I know I love her, loved her, otherwise this hurt would not exist. It is good thatI am letting it hurt, not burying it under layers of rationale and denial, not boxing it up to fester in my subconscious.

It sucks that he got so wasted the night before, and coudn't work that young thing at the bar. nice hair, great ass, genuinly interested, even listened when he told her about getting dumped. But then, running scared for a split second focing him to the door, it all falls apart. but fuck it, thousands more out there, and she was from Phoenix. heard it's a nice town. maybe go get her number, slip her the sausage, fly out and visit her or something. but then again, maybe lay off the women for a little bit, just until the worst hurt is over. who knows. X