Like a mighty nation-state
americanifesto.com | updated Tuesday, Thursday, Sunday
Showing posts with label sovereign. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sovereign. Show all posts
25 January 2019
22 March 2013
on arming rebels
The Grigovian government today issued a sharp rebuke of U.S. American efforts to sell arms to bands of Islamic extremist operating on the fringes of its western province of Tera Pyltannia, which borders Iran. Independent reports verify that operatives of the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) have been working ceaselessly to provide weapons to a loose collection of tribesmen known as al Qusuf. Once allied with Grigovia's own indigenous Yaelong tribes, al Qusuf were expelled from the country after briefly instituting orthodox Sharia law back in the 1840s and subsequently abusing the rights of thousands of peaceful peasant women. “For nearly all of this region's recorded history, al Qusuf have been causing trouble,” said Dr. Ulantha Grossman, professor of Central Asian history at Queen Pylta the Terrible University, in Pyltagrad. “By all accounts, the members of al Qusuf are bad, dangerous people whose tools are repression, fear, and murder. The American government appears to be growing increasingly desperate in its attempts to destabilize the Iranian government prior to its impending violation of the latter nation's sovereignty. If this is how the Ynki spreads freedom and democracy, we want no part of it.“
Grigovian scouting parties recently captured dozens of rocket-propelled grenades as well as surface-to-air missiles capable of punching a modern fighter jet out of the sky, all of them stamped “Made In America.” Scores of individuals attempting to deliver these sophisticated weapons systems to contacts in the various al Qusuf militias were arrested, temporarily hobbled, and sent back to Washington with stern warnings against further unwarranted meddling. (In accordance with a longstanding national law, members of al Qusuf found within the borders of Grigovia are given the chance to flee; if they refuse, they are strangled to death.) “We have little control over how the American government treats the Iranians to our west or the Afghanis to our south,” said Pendogarst Ulyind, Lieutenant-Colonel of the Grigovian Border Defense Forces, from a network of well-provisioned caves somewhere in the mountains east of the Iranian-Grigovian border. “We as a people learned enough from being treated as a doormat for the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, however, to recognize clandestine foreign intervention for what it is – outright intrusion on our national sovereignty as well as a threat to regional stability.”
At least a dozen CIA operatives were carrying dossiers containing detailed information in languages familiar to al Qusuf about sites crucial to Grigovian infrastructure. “From the contents of these dossiers we conclude that U.S. American intelligence agencies are planning also to destabilize our own country's democratically elected government,” said Piendoyast Tormund, deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs for the state of Grigovia. “My office has already begun to draft a binding United Nations resolution that aims to curtail Ynki activities here in Central Asia, and we are working with Russia Today and al Jazeera to draw attention to the fact that the U.S. appears to be arming forces hostile to Liberty and the rule of law in places beyond its own borders, which violates numerous international statutes as well as its own legal code.” The Glorious Republic of Grigovia shares more than a hundred kilometers of mountainous, largely inaccessible border with Iran. In recent years, the nation has resisted nearly a dozen ham-fisted attempts by American consortia and corporations to gain control over its vast resources of rare-earth minerals.
mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥
Grigovian scouting parties recently captured dozens of rocket-propelled grenades as well as surface-to-air missiles capable of punching a modern fighter jet out of the sky, all of them stamped “Made In America.” Scores of individuals attempting to deliver these sophisticated weapons systems to contacts in the various al Qusuf militias were arrested, temporarily hobbled, and sent back to Washington with stern warnings against further unwarranted meddling. (In accordance with a longstanding national law, members of al Qusuf found within the borders of Grigovia are given the chance to flee; if they refuse, they are strangled to death.) “We have little control over how the American government treats the Iranians to our west or the Afghanis to our south,” said Pendogarst Ulyind, Lieutenant-Colonel of the Grigovian Border Defense Forces, from a network of well-provisioned caves somewhere in the mountains east of the Iranian-Grigovian border. “We as a people learned enough from being treated as a doormat for the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, however, to recognize clandestine foreign intervention for what it is – outright intrusion on our national sovereignty as well as a threat to regional stability.”
At least a dozen CIA operatives were carrying dossiers containing detailed information in languages familiar to al Qusuf about sites crucial to Grigovian infrastructure. “From the contents of these dossiers we conclude that U.S. American intelligence agencies are planning also to destabilize our own country's democratically elected government,” said Piendoyast Tormund, deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs for the state of Grigovia. “My office has already begun to draft a binding United Nations resolution that aims to curtail Ynki activities here in Central Asia, and we are working with Russia Today and al Jazeera to draw attention to the fact that the U.S. appears to be arming forces hostile to Liberty and the rule of law in places beyond its own borders, which violates numerous international statutes as well as its own legal code.” The Glorious Republic of Grigovia shares more than a hundred kilometers of mountainous, largely inaccessible border with Iran. In recent years, the nation has resisted nearly a dozen ham-fisted attempts by American consortia and corporations to gain control over its vast resources of rare-earth minerals.
mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥
20 July 2012
DOD now DOWOA
While preparations for the impeding military action against the Islamic Republic of Iran reach a fever pitch, spokespersons for what was formerly known as the Department of Defense (DOD) of the United States of America have traveled to nations across the globe to spread news of their employer's nominal re-branding. Now called the Department of Wars of Aggression, the government agency formerly known as the DOD decided to change its name to reflect America's new role in the world, that being no longer a nation that defends its own borders or those of its friends but one that frequently violates its own laws and the laws of various international charters by initiating military action against sovereign foreign nations.
“Ever since its police action in Viet-Nam, the American military has been continuously involved in hot conflicts in places such as Nicaragua, Iraq, and Afghanistan,” said Geraldine Fuchs-Kleimman, a former Navy pilot in her early 30s who spoke to us from Nigeria via satellite-phone. “Since our illegal invasion of Iraq in 2002 and the subsequent illegal invasion of Afghanistan not long thereafter, my fellow peons and I have been hearing rumors that this name-change would occur; we're just happy that the Secretary of (previously Defense, but, now) Aggression (SecAgg) finally got his shit together and filled out all that paperwork.” A nation once hailed as the savior of mankind for defeating the Nazi plaque threatening to grind all of Europe under its murderous jack-boot, America has plummeted recently in the estimation of her fellow nation-states. Having succumbed to the demands of a massive military-industrial complex and allowed nearly her entire society to be controlled by the narrow-minded policies of avaricious, for-profit corporations, however, once-fair Columbia has so drastically changed her tune that she barely resembles the nation she was just a few, short decades ago.
“I remember when we Americans minded our own business and let other peoples figure things out for themselves, enticing them perhaps with our goods and trying to get a toe-hold in their markets, but not actually killing them and stealing their oil,” said 75-year-old farmer Henry James Wainschott Jr., proud tiller of soil, from atop a museum-worthy John Deere tractor. “I was reading somewhere that nearly $400 billion dollars of the current military budget is used to pay private military contractors. These contractors are the self-same motherfuckers charging two hundred dollars for a single sheet of dry-wall and lobbying like lunatics to keep the wars going, bankrupting the American Dream for nine-tenths of Americans with their abject, damnable greed.”
“Truth is, we're running out of foreign nation-states upon whom to wage these wars of aggression,” said 47-year-old Maryland resident and senior analyst Vishay Utilanad, who works indirectly for the Secretary of Aggression. “Once we give Iran a good drubbing, North Korea will be the last thing standing in the way of us dealing death, destruction, woe, and torment against the American population itself, and, believe me, we've had a lot of practice subjugating unruly populations in the last decade. So dust off your slave-shoes, folks, pucker up those suck-holes, and prepare to have all of your remaining constitutional protections revoked, because, like fucking idiots, you gave up the last of your rights a long, long time ago.”
場黑麥 mentiri manufactorem fecit
“Ever since its police action in Viet-Nam, the American military has been continuously involved in hot conflicts in places such as Nicaragua, Iraq, and Afghanistan,” said Geraldine Fuchs-Kleimman, a former Navy pilot in her early 30s who spoke to us from Nigeria via satellite-phone. “Since our illegal invasion of Iraq in 2002 and the subsequent illegal invasion of Afghanistan not long thereafter, my fellow peons and I have been hearing rumors that this name-change would occur; we're just happy that the Secretary of (previously Defense, but, now) Aggression (SecAgg) finally got his shit together and filled out all that paperwork.” A nation once hailed as the savior of mankind for defeating the Nazi plaque threatening to grind all of Europe under its murderous jack-boot, America has plummeted recently in the estimation of her fellow nation-states. Having succumbed to the demands of a massive military-industrial complex and allowed nearly her entire society to be controlled by the narrow-minded policies of avaricious, for-profit corporations, however, once-fair Columbia has so drastically changed her tune that she barely resembles the nation she was just a few, short decades ago.
“I remember when we Americans minded our own business and let other peoples figure things out for themselves, enticing them perhaps with our goods and trying to get a toe-hold in their markets, but not actually killing them and stealing their oil,” said 75-year-old farmer Henry James Wainschott Jr., proud tiller of soil, from atop a museum-worthy John Deere tractor. “I was reading somewhere that nearly $400 billion dollars of the current military budget is used to pay private military contractors. These contractors are the self-same motherfuckers charging two hundred dollars for a single sheet of dry-wall and lobbying like lunatics to keep the wars going, bankrupting the American Dream for nine-tenths of Americans with their abject, damnable greed.”
“Truth is, we're running out of foreign nation-states upon whom to wage these wars of aggression,” said 47-year-old Maryland resident and senior analyst Vishay Utilanad, who works indirectly for the Secretary of Aggression. “Once we give Iran a good drubbing, North Korea will be the last thing standing in the way of us dealing death, destruction, woe, and torment against the American population itself, and, believe me, we've had a lot of practice subjugating unruly populations in the last decade. So dust off your slave-shoes, folks, pucker up those suck-holes, and prepare to have all of your remaining constitutional protections revoked, because, like fucking idiots, you gave up the last of your rights a long, long time ago.”
場黑麥 mentiri manufactorem fecit
04 April 2012
Santander announces new FEAR card
Santander
& Sovereign Banks announced today (from their subterranean
bunkers outside of Washington D.C.) the newest credit card to ensnare
unwary, consumption-crazy customers: Fear. Get afraid today with high
rates, hidden fees, inexplicable cancellations, and an ever-shrinking
credit ceiling. With Santander's new Fear card, never again must you
be afraid of past-due payments or of collections calls from angry,
third-party creditors: the only thing you must fear is us, your bank,
because we shall act swiftly and with righteous fury to repossess
anything you might own in order to recover your outstanding debts to
us. Sign up today at one of our inconvenient locations that are sure
to be staffed with disinterested customer service representatives who
shall be more likely to put up their feet on the employee room tables
than to get off their asses and attend to customers. Fear, today,
with Santander / Sovereign.
p.s.
The author would like to point out that the new credit card's name is
not Fear, as he initially suspected; rather, the card is called
Sphere, although he applauds the logic behind using a name that
sounds exactly like “fear” when referring to credit, a horrifying
state of self-imposed slavery to Big Bro Bank which is sure to
terrify any self-respecting, self-sufficient American.
場黑麥
ioanni
elymucampus fecit
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