Grigovia buys Liberty

In an effort to celebrate the ideals inherent to this awesome goddess – she who has favored the nation throughout its tumultuous history – the Glorious Republic of Grigovia purchased the Statue of Liberty. “In America, it's sad to say, we don't really follow her lead anymore,” said Frank O'Shea-DiTomasso, a longshoreman from Staten Island, New York, who was in the hold of an ocean-going vessel securing a copper-clad arm for transport. “Most people I know are slaves to their jobs, to the things they own, to televised programming, and to little pieces of papery cotton that have dead guys' faces printed on them. It's a shame to see her go, but, at day's end, few around here will miss the old dame.”

As a nod to the tremendous power of freedom, Grigovia now requires all citizens older than 18 years to pass a course designed to teach them how to make the best and fullest use of their Liberty. Individuals are given two options upon completion: they can either have their identification cards embossed with Liberty's crown-and-rays or the symbol tattooed onto a prominent part of their bodies (using a specially-formulated, non-toxic ink that glows in ultra-violet lighting). The most popular area is the top of a hand; some go for the forehead; and a few get inked on neck, throat, and cheekbone. (The tattoo's prominent placement serves as a constant reminder of the person's oath – sworn before a magistrate and sealed with freshly-spilled blood – to protect Liberty from anyone who might do her harm.) People who attend the course learn the importance of both communal cooperation and individual sacrifice, and that one is expected to do as one pleases so long as one's actions do not infringe upon the life, Liberty, or property of any other person. The course is designed to fill the citizen with a strong sense of both personal responsibility and quiet humility so that he or she does to body, mind, and property as he or she decides will best effect Happiness. (Liberated individuals may consume any drug they wish, cut their hair as they wish, and speak freely without fear of repercussion so long as they are not inciting violence.) Plans are in place to drastically reduce police forces once enough civilians understand the power of deliberate action and embrace the joyously peaceful task of mutual prosperity.

“This is to be Lady Liberty's new home,” said Uwelda Iyetast, acting curator of the new Museum of National Liberty, while standing on the masonry pad upon which the goddess shall soon rest. After six months of restorations, the statue will be reassembled on an island in the Yalung River located in the heart of Grig, the nation's capital. (A lunatic asylum from the 19th Century that had previously occupied the island burned down during post-Soviet upheavals; it was fully demolished last year to prepare for the iconic statue, although most of the building's iron superstructure was used to build pedestrian bridges that lead to the Museum.) With tears of joy in her eyes, Mrs. Iyetast explained the history of the statue from its inception to the present day, ending her speech with a standard Grigovian ritual, tossing flowers and libations into the shifting winds of Fortune so as to guarantee Liberty's safe arrival. “Unlike the people in her former home, we Grigovians are well aware of the dangers of allowing people to just do whatever they want and calling it freedom,” the curator said. “Liberty works best when individuals let every action, thought, and word resound with joyous Happiness.”

mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥

terrorism? not in America

  Over the past decade, the military forces of the United States of America have persecuted a series of wars started by President George Bush and Dick Cheney. These politicians and their ilk sold the wars in Iraq and in Afghanistan to the people of America on the notion that this country would be attacked by waves of by crazed, turban-wearing foreigners with bombs strapped to their chests who had infiltrated American society so fully as to be able to strike any target anywhere, anytime. Convinced of the risk and cowed into submission by a fear-mongering and alarmist news media, the citizenry stood idly by as its president entered the Stronghold of Liberty into a two front war.

  (As the orphaned son of an officer of the United States Navy, and as one who has had the honor of being befriended by United States Marines, I respect unequivocally any person who has served in America's armed forces, or in the armed forces of any other nation founded upon principles similar to our own.)

  So much war and so much blood spilled, good thick blood oozing from Columbia's valiant sons and daughters, precious fluid escaping the bodies of good honest people from Indiana or California or New York who fly to foreign lands and give their lives in answer to their president's call. And as our troopers fight with honor in the air and on the land and upon/below the seas, has our nation faced this dreaded wave of suicidal attacks? It has not. Has our civilian infrastructure been compromised extensively, and have (innocent) bystanders been slaughtered by the thousands in lightning daytime raids against our airport or ground-vehicle terminals? They have not. And since they have not, we ask ourselves if it is time for the federal government to stop expend the lives and the resources of the American people on killing foreign religious terrorists, and that it should instead form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity.

  場黑麥 ioanni elymucampus fecit

  p.s. devices for societal control such as the Controlled Substances Act, as well as SOPA and PIPA, destroy the Blessings of Liberty – they have no place in America's enlightened and modern society; they are formidable to tyrants only