Our thermal exchangers, pull power from soil, increasing net leisure, decreasing net toil. They work because temperatures deep underground, differ from those of the air all around, which causes trapped fluids to move out and in, which makes then a turbine built within to spin. This turbine's a motor, that rotates swiftly, it makes non-polluting electricity. We didn't invent it, but our type is grand – it powers communities across our land, it lights up our cities and hamlets and towns, its ease and efficiency are world-renown. Small ones are built into every new home, buried, forgotten, but never asleep, they recharge big batteries and mobile phones, they cool down our foodstuffs yet don't make a peep. To install them dig up a long and deep trench, then lay in some pipes of corrosion-less steel, adjust for the rate of drop, don't yet back-fill, go slowly and tighten each nut with a wrench. Now drop in a power-box to match your needs, and check every foot of pipe for cracks or bleeds, and check your connections – make sure they are sound – then bury the pipe six good feet underground. A portion stays outside, exposed to the air, built into a crawl-space or under the stairs, to feed precious energy into your wires, without fuel deliveries or noxious fires. Components are costly but tax-breaks abound, it's cheap now to make your own power from ground. So call up your regional government rep – to most this one seems to be the hardest step – then measure an area fifteen by three, an open space made clear of trees and debris, then sit back and watch as your system's installed, tasting of freedom and glad that you'd called.
© americanifesto / 場黑麥
americanifesto.com | updated Tuesday, Thursday, Sunday
Showing posts with label electricity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label electricity. Show all posts
21 February 2014
24 September 2012
boy invents everything
In preparation for creating a water-proof coverlet designed for tablet-computer-users who operate their devices while bathing or when trapped in flooded cars, 17 year-old big-thinking average citizen Brisdlom 'the Bri-Man' Torrandigan, of Fontaine du Lac, Minnesota (population: 335), first established a standardized system for measuring distances exactly, and then a portable measuring-stick he dubbed a ruler. After convincing half of mankind to adopt his system for measuring distances in something called inches and feet, he discovered electricity, then perfected the braided-copper electrical wire, then a method for extracting rubber from the South American rubber tree, then a method to vulcanize the rubber, then a method to manufacture large-diameter copper wires and a way to protect them from the elements using water-tight rubber sleeves, then long-distance electrical transmission wires as thick as a man's wrist, then electrical transformers for increasing voltage so as to allow current to be transported across long distances, then techniques for deep-seam coal mining, then a narrow-gauge railway system for hauling coal, then a chemical process for removing impurities from the coal, then an industrial-strength elevator system for lifting the coal, then the steel i-beam, and then the methods and materials needed to produce electricity using coal-burning steam generators the size of houses. Before getting started on the exact dimensions of his case, he invented the postage-stamp-sized computer chip, then random-access-memory, then the solid-state hard drive, then circuit-boards made of silicone, then the wireless-fidelity network (which he shortened to Wi-Fi), then the just-in-time manufacturing process, then the conveyor belt, then factory-based production, and then a touch-capable and screen-based interface.
After a noon-time snack, the Bri-Man invented the USB access port, then tiny but efficient speakers, then a way to allow users to pipe sounds into portable and head-mounted earphones, then a process for producing break-resistant but smooth sheets of glass, then a method for cutting said glass into small and perfectly rectangular shapes, then the slag-furnace, then the process for producing aluminum using bauxite, then gas-fired furnaces for heating aluminum to allow it to mix with bauxite, then wearable heat-shields for persons handling molten-hot metals, then efficient casting methods for making light but sturdy tablet-frames, then injection-molding processes for not just plastic but also steel and aluminum, and then a system for transporting large volumes of products over long distances using self-propelled and man-operated devices that roll over the ground or fly through the sky or sail upon the seas. He paused briefly to apply acne medication (he had a date later that night, with a girl named Francine) before putting the finishing touches on his case, which would allow users to interface with their devices through his coverlet's see-through plastic, but not before discovering crude-oil in the Middle East, inventing the processes and pumps and drill-bits and valves for removing that oil from the ground, then the process for refining it into plastics, then just the right balance of chemical additives to make the plastic translucent but not brittle, then a process for mixing and storing and transporting the chemicals and the crude oil across thousands of miles of open ocean, then a way to keep the plastic from deteriorating too quickly when it is exposed to sunlight, then a clam-shell design for computer cases, then a sturdy but unobtrusive hinge-mechanism, then a plant-based and odor-less lubricant to keep the hinge working smoothly, and then tiny bolts with nuts to screw onto them snugly and without loosening when jostled to hold the two parts of the hinge firmly together. Stepping back to view his handiwork, the teen inventor smiled a shy little smile before firing off a text-message to his father, who lives in Seattle, Washington. (Young Brisdlom had invented cellphones and the SMS system a day earlier.)
Explaining at a brief press conference its decision to shutter its operation and to elect Brisdlom to Supreme Master Of The Human Race For All Eternity, a spokeswoman for the U.S. Patent Office stated: “We are so happy that Mr. Torrandigan has pioneered such a wide range of technologies that will allow the inventors of tomorrow to come up with new ways to make our lives more efficient. All future inventions will rely upon the efforts of this young man, he who came before them, just as all supposedly new thoughts or discoveries are only possible because of the thoughts and discoveries that occurred before them in time. Naturally, the profits from the sale of Brisdlom's newest device, the water-proof tablet coverlet, as well as all profits from the use and further development of his neat-o and whiz-bang processes and materials – pretty much every last nickel in the world – will go to the rightful inventor of the modern age, teenage Bri-Man, he who crafted such wonders from thin air. From behind our padlocked doors, we shall watch patiently but with abiding joy as subsequent inventors build upon the miraculous achievements that this young man made in such a short amount time, perhaps at some point in the distant future accepting new requests for patents, once Master Of The Human Race Brisdlom Torrandigan's wonders age a bit.”
(p.s. This article is a hoax; any and all inventions rely upon all of the inventions made before them, including the inventions of our commonly-owned languages and societies. Our current practice of heaping piles of money upon individuals who supposedly invent new things is a farcical and broken system that is unlikely to stand the test of time. Mahalo.)
場黑麥 mentiri factorem fecit
After a noon-time snack, the Bri-Man invented the USB access port, then tiny but efficient speakers, then a way to allow users to pipe sounds into portable and head-mounted earphones, then a process for producing break-resistant but smooth sheets of glass, then a method for cutting said glass into small and perfectly rectangular shapes, then the slag-furnace, then the process for producing aluminum using bauxite, then gas-fired furnaces for heating aluminum to allow it to mix with bauxite, then wearable heat-shields for persons handling molten-hot metals, then efficient casting methods for making light but sturdy tablet-frames, then injection-molding processes for not just plastic but also steel and aluminum, and then a system for transporting large volumes of products over long distances using self-propelled and man-operated devices that roll over the ground or fly through the sky or sail upon the seas. He paused briefly to apply acne medication (he had a date later that night, with a girl named Francine) before putting the finishing touches on his case, which would allow users to interface with their devices through his coverlet's see-through plastic, but not before discovering crude-oil in the Middle East, inventing the processes and pumps and drill-bits and valves for removing that oil from the ground, then the process for refining it into plastics, then just the right balance of chemical additives to make the plastic translucent but not brittle, then a process for mixing and storing and transporting the chemicals and the crude oil across thousands of miles of open ocean, then a way to keep the plastic from deteriorating too quickly when it is exposed to sunlight, then a clam-shell design for computer cases, then a sturdy but unobtrusive hinge-mechanism, then a plant-based and odor-less lubricant to keep the hinge working smoothly, and then tiny bolts with nuts to screw onto them snugly and without loosening when jostled to hold the two parts of the hinge firmly together. Stepping back to view his handiwork, the teen inventor smiled a shy little smile before firing off a text-message to his father, who lives in Seattle, Washington. (Young Brisdlom had invented cellphones and the SMS system a day earlier.)
Explaining at a brief press conference its decision to shutter its operation and to elect Brisdlom to Supreme Master Of The Human Race For All Eternity, a spokeswoman for the U.S. Patent Office stated: “We are so happy that Mr. Torrandigan has pioneered such a wide range of technologies that will allow the inventors of tomorrow to come up with new ways to make our lives more efficient. All future inventions will rely upon the efforts of this young man, he who came before them, just as all supposedly new thoughts or discoveries are only possible because of the thoughts and discoveries that occurred before them in time. Naturally, the profits from the sale of Brisdlom's newest device, the water-proof tablet coverlet, as well as all profits from the use and further development of his neat-o and whiz-bang processes and materials – pretty much every last nickel in the world – will go to the rightful inventor of the modern age, teenage Bri-Man, he who crafted such wonders from thin air. From behind our padlocked doors, we shall watch patiently but with abiding joy as subsequent inventors build upon the miraculous achievements that this young man made in such a short amount time, perhaps at some point in the distant future accepting new requests for patents, once Master Of The Human Race Brisdlom Torrandigan's wonders age a bit.”
(p.s. This article is a hoax; any and all inventions rely upon all of the inventions made before them, including the inventions of our commonly-owned languages and societies. Our current practice of heaping piles of money upon individuals who supposedly invent new things is a farcical and broken system that is unlikely to stand the test of time. Mahalo.)
場黑麥 mentiri factorem fecit
27 August 2012
man rations watts
Stretching his personal daily allotment of watts to the limit, 52 year-old unemployed former systems administrator Rhieyan Humplesdorf avoided excessive toilet-flushing and unnecessary illumination in order to have enough electricity left over to watch his favorite television show. “It's really important to me to be able to catch Blazing and Crashing, a reality show, every other Thursday night, and, so, I spend time in the dark and only cook during off-peak hours, such as before dawn.” Mr. Humplesdorf is not alone in his quest to save wattage: reports indicate that millions of everyday Americans save their daily, weekly, and even monthly rations of electrical power (referred to here, and measured in, watts), using the precious commodity on special activities such as watching a movie at home, cooking during the breakfast hour, or powering a wireless router in order to access the world-wide-web.
America's capacity to provide a constant, seemingly-limitless stream of watts to its inhabitants waned shortly after the turn of the 2nd Millennium (Common Error), when several major dams were drained after having been declared structurally unsound and its supplies of coal and natural gas dried up or became too environmentally costly to tap. Since then, persons such as Rhieyan have tried to take matters into their own hands, setting up man-portable banks of solar panels and installing small battery farms in large, weather-proof plastic containers. “It's hard, sometimes, to recharge everyone's batteries,” said mother-of-four Vickie Hu-Eignot, former vice president for marketing at a communications firm. “What with our second oldest entering school and needing to charge his netbook battery competing for watts with our oldest, who has a bigger laptop, and then the two twins – our youngest – wanting to recharge everything from flashlights to portable gaming systems, and of course everyone needing to charge their cellphone batteries on a nearly daily basis, well, we quickly run out of watts, even with the bonus my husband receives for working twice a month on Community Labor Days.”
Similar to ration cards used in America while it was fighting both the Third Reich and the Japanese Empire, today's watt ration cards are a stark reminder that nothing is free in life, that few things come easily, and that TANSTAAFL (there ain't no such thing as a free lunch). “We thank the fine citizens of this land for being patient while we install more large-scale wind and solar farms, and for queuing patiently at their local power stations, waiting in both rain and shine with drained deep-cycle marine batteries balancing on skateboards or loaded into shopping carts,” said Thurmond P. Ristlethrace, spokesman for the federal Department of Energy. “It is true that the previous administration should have been focusing more on sustainable energy systems and less on waging war in order to gain access to fossil fuels such as crude oil, but, I am confident that the current administration is on the right track toward making this nation totally and 100% energy independent.” Reports of wide-spread looting of hardware previously used to transmit electricity from coal-fired power plants could not be officially confirmed, but sources did indicate that many communities had been erecting Wardenclyffe Towers to harvest the electricity that water creates naturally when it flows through subterranean limestone aquifers.
場黑麥 mentiri factorem fecit
America's capacity to provide a constant, seemingly-limitless stream of watts to its inhabitants waned shortly after the turn of the 2nd Millennium (Common Error), when several major dams were drained after having been declared structurally unsound and its supplies of coal and natural gas dried up or became too environmentally costly to tap. Since then, persons such as Rhieyan have tried to take matters into their own hands, setting up man-portable banks of solar panels and installing small battery farms in large, weather-proof plastic containers. “It's hard, sometimes, to recharge everyone's batteries,” said mother-of-four Vickie Hu-Eignot, former vice president for marketing at a communications firm. “What with our second oldest entering school and needing to charge his netbook battery competing for watts with our oldest, who has a bigger laptop, and then the two twins – our youngest – wanting to recharge everything from flashlights to portable gaming systems, and of course everyone needing to charge their cellphone batteries on a nearly daily basis, well, we quickly run out of watts, even with the bonus my husband receives for working twice a month on Community Labor Days.”
Similar to ration cards used in America while it was fighting both the Third Reich and the Japanese Empire, today's watt ration cards are a stark reminder that nothing is free in life, that few things come easily, and that TANSTAAFL (there ain't no such thing as a free lunch). “We thank the fine citizens of this land for being patient while we install more large-scale wind and solar farms, and for queuing patiently at their local power stations, waiting in both rain and shine with drained deep-cycle marine batteries balancing on skateboards or loaded into shopping carts,” said Thurmond P. Ristlethrace, spokesman for the federal Department of Energy. “It is true that the previous administration should have been focusing more on sustainable energy systems and less on waging war in order to gain access to fossil fuels such as crude oil, but, I am confident that the current administration is on the right track toward making this nation totally and 100% energy independent.” Reports of wide-spread looting of hardware previously used to transmit electricity from coal-fired power plants could not be officially confirmed, but sources did indicate that many communities had been erecting Wardenclyffe Towers to harvest the electricity that water creates naturally when it flows through subterranean limestone aquifers.
場黑麥 mentiri factorem fecit
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