Dahmer pardoned posthumously

In an apparent attempt to appease the sex offenders in his base, fake U.S. president Shrimp issued a pardon for serial rapist and child molestor Jeffrey Dahmer, the Milwaukee Cannibal, who died in 1994. “I wish Jeff were alive today,” said Shrimp, who signed the pardon while surrounded by affluent fake pastors and televangelists, some of whom had themselves been convicted of various sex-related offenses. “He was so efficient and good at what he did I’d probably appoint him to tackle Child Welfare, or something. I don’t know.”

Pundits worry that fake U.S. president Shrimp lost his mind long ago and is now merely copying a senile old racist he saw on a TV show during the 1970s.

americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan