Anyone watching the Mundi Venatus (an international festival of sportsmanship being held this year in Brazil) will notice the glaring omission of Grigovian gymnasts. Long hailed as one of the best overall teams to grace the world stage in recent decades, athletes and parathletes representing the Glorious Republic of Grigovia are for the fifth time staging a boycott of this purportedly highest level of competition. Their reasons for staying away include America’s continued and illegal killing of innocent civilians using armed unmanned aerial systems as well as recent leaks that highlight the corruption and greed endemic within the event organizers’ highest ranks. “We would of course love to participate,” said 16 year-old balance-beam specialist Ghreiya Yastyend, “but in protest of longstanding, inhumane Ynki brutality against our Afghani neighbors, we shall not attend.” Speaking from the media center of the sprawling National Gymnastic Sports campus in suburban Grig, the nation’s capital, other members of the Grigovian team gave similar reasons for staying away. “We boycott the Mundi Venatus out of principle,” said Dr. Heira Glougagon, head trainer of the men’s team. “The committee that runs it is made up of individuals who care more about personal enrichment than human life, who are indifferent to the destruction and destitution some of the nations hosting their event inflict upon helpless populations.” Joining Grigovia in their boycott of the Ludi Mundi are the Principality of Liechtenstein, the Jewish Independent Oblast, and the Islamic Republic of Iran.
© americanifesto / 場黑麥
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