on belief

My beliefs, like the beliefs of any person, are complex.
  Foremost, I believe in the teachings of the Tao Te Ching, that simple and profound work that exalts humility, frugality, and mercy.
  I believe in the perpetual yet fragile nature of Liberty, that state of mind in which the pure deep essence of a person's innermost core bubbles out into the world unfettered and pure.
  I believe that goddess Athena visits me at times (when I am exhibiting qualities for which she is the patron goddess), instilling in me superhuman abilities and making me shine with a great, visible light.
  I believe that the birds are watching me, keeping an eye on me and reporting my actions to their respective gods, be those gods Wednesday or Athena or any of the other gods that use birds to spy on us.
  I apologize when I step on a young bamboo shoot, in the belief that my destructive action might turn the entire grove against me.
  When cutting the lawn here, I am in constant anguish, as I can see the tiny beasts, the insects and whatnot, scampering before the whirling blades of death, rushing to escape my descending foot; I weep for their mangled little bodies, for their lifeless husks, and ask for their forgiveness.
  I believe that each and every person in this world has the potential to do great things, to change mankind in fantastic and unprecedented ways, although most are too poor (in the developing world) or too lazy (in the developed world) to develop the method for unleashing this potential. (I also believe that capitalism stunts the flowing of true potential, forcing the individual to replace his search for Happiness with the scramble to merely survive.)
  I believe that a group of shape-shifting giant space aliens live in the dense foliage of the bamboo grove, that they flee at my approach, that they make a terrible rustling sound when I appear too suddenly and too close by.
  I believe that I am an embodiment of Loki, the Norse god of chaos, and that my purpose in life is to disrupt the standard methods and to bring change into the world, for good or ill.

  I believe all these things (and many others, such as the Pan-Human-Consciousness and the Ancient Alien Theory), and I believe none of them.
  Unlike a member of an established religion, my beliefs are fluid, ever-changing, never set in stone and never shoved in the face of the person I run into at the supermarket. At any moment I may believe in all of the above things or in none, in some part-way and in others fully (although I most always perform the whole practice of apologizing-to-living-things-I-accidentally-trample-or-kill).

  My beliefs are absurd, but I know they are absurd, and I cherish them for their absurdity. For the most part (except of course for this blogposting), I keep them to myself. I would never dare to berate another for his or her lack of belief in my beliefs. I would never approach another and ask if he has accepted the Flying Spaghetti Monster as his one and only living and ever-watchful Saviour, nor would I confront another and ask if he has accepted Allah as his one and only true god (mostly because I don't feel like talking to the FBI again and explaining to them, again, that I am not a terrorist).

  So, those are my beliefs, although they aren't, really, as I believe in that which cannot be named, that which is inexhaustible, that which has no form, that which has a name so powerful that to say it would be to rend the very fabric of the universe, that which has a form so subtle that it is the form of all things and no things.
  And yet, unlike a believer in an established religion, I will (and do) change my beliefs if presented with superior and logical evidence that they are wrong.
  My belief-systems are flexible, expanding and contracting with every stroke of the bellows.
  My beliefs will never convince me that the actions of another person merit persecution or death (unless said actions involve rape, theft, or murder). My beliefs will never convince me that they are superior to the beliefs of anyone else in the world.
  I yearn only to exhibit my beliefs through my actions, never by cornering of someone at the local home-improvement store or by yelling at strangers on a street-corner in Hollywood.
  My beliefs are my business; they belong to me alone. I will never kill for my beliefs, nor will I enslave another person, nor will I berate another person for not sharing my beliefs.

  So, for all those people who find it necessary to spread vocally the word of their god, stop. Keep it to yourselves, and let the rest of us rational, flexible folk get on with our lives. Your rigid adherence to religious doctrine is sad, at best. Keep your religious observances out of our legislatures, out of our court-rooms, out of our public places. Keep America tolerant; keep her free.

  Vote NO on American theocracy.

Ultima Ratio Regum
Juliet Papa Romeo

name your god

I was very pleased recently to read about Mr. Newt Gingrich's efforts to protect the role of god in society. I am also very much looking forward to viewing this man's films about Rediscovering God in America. It is truly refreshing for a worshiper of Allah, especially one so prominent as a former speaker of the legislative house of the American republic, to boldly call for the protection of Allah's role in American life. Praise be to Allah. Please hold on, for since beginning to write again, I have received increased attention by the centralized state surveillance programs, and I want to be sure they do not find me typing and sell me to the Americans.

I just received a call from my brother-in-law, who lives in South Dakota, saying that I must stop writing about Mr. Gingrich and his love for Allah. My brother-in-law claims that, when the former legislative speaker mentions god, he is not talking about the one and only true God, Allah, rather the strange deity of a small and shrinking group of Americans known as Pastafarians, who worship their own god, the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Pardon. my battery died and I had to go get more diesel to run the generator. Once my computer booted back up, I found I had received an email from an angry man in South Carolina claiming that Mr. Gingrich's references to god were in reference to the Christian god, who has a name, and whose name is Yahweh, or Jehova, depending on how closely you adhere to the Christian biblical teachings that forbid you from using the name of your god in passing (see here) and that mandate that anyone who works on the seventh day of the week must be killed outright (see here). What strange and terrible ideas these people have.

I have tried to contact my brother-in-law, to clarify whether I should praise the former legislative speaker for his courage in openly championing the place of Allah in society, or whether I should write a letter to him condemning him for his poor choice in gods, as every intelligent person knows that there is only one god, Allah, and that Yahweh and the Flying Spaghetti Monster are false idols.

Ultimately, I think I will just ask Mr. Gingrich, and any other public figure in America, to name the god to which he is referring, because it is confusing for outsiders and foreigners who understand that the United States of America was not founded as a Christian nation (see here), who know that there is folly in strictly adhering to laws mangled and adjusted as they were passed down from the Iron Age, who hear some man praising a god, and, not knowing to which god he is referring, assume that his god is my god, when his god, and I am presuming by god he means Jesus, is, from one perspective, a cannibalistic suicidal zombie who impregnated his own mother.

What strange and confusing customs these Americans have. I hope they do not find oil here, for they would surely topple our democratically elected government and install straw men and dictators who would rob us of our natural resources and subjugate us in the name of regional stability.

Please stay at home, Americans. You have enough problems of your own.

Signed,
A. Randomarab