on belief

My beliefs, like the beliefs of any person, are complex.
  Foremost, I believe in the teachings of the Tao Te Ching, that simple and profound work that exalts humility, frugality, and mercy.
  I believe in the perpetual yet fragile nature of Liberty, that state of mind in which the pure deep essence of a person's innermost core bubbles out into the world unfettered and pure.
  I believe that goddess Athena visits me at times (when I am exhibiting qualities for which she is the patron goddess), instilling in me superhuman abilities and making me shine with a great, visible light.
  I believe that the birds are watching me, keeping an eye on me and reporting my actions to their respective gods, be those gods Wednesday or Athena or any of the other gods that use birds to spy on us.
  I apologize when I step on a young bamboo shoot, in the belief that my destructive action might turn the entire grove against me.
  When cutting the lawn here, I am in constant anguish, as I can see the tiny beasts, the insects and whatnot, scampering before the whirling blades of death, rushing to escape my descending foot; I weep for their mangled little bodies, for their lifeless husks, and ask for their forgiveness.
  I believe that each and every person in this world has the potential to do great things, to change mankind in fantastic and unprecedented ways, although most are too poor (in the developing world) or too lazy (in the developed world) to develop the method for unleashing this potential. (I also believe that capitalism stunts the flowing of true potential, forcing the individual to replace his search for Happiness with the scramble to merely survive.)
  I believe that a group of shape-shifting giant space aliens live in the dense foliage of the bamboo grove, that they flee at my approach, that they make a terrible rustling sound when I appear too suddenly and too close by.
  I believe that I am an embodiment of Loki, the Norse god of chaos, and that my purpose in life is to disrupt the standard methods and to bring change into the world, for good or ill.

  I believe all these things (and many others, such as the Pan-Human-Consciousness and the Ancient Alien Theory), and I believe none of them.
  Unlike a member of an established religion, my beliefs are fluid, ever-changing, never set in stone and never shoved in the face of the person I run into at the supermarket. At any moment I may believe in all of the above things or in none, in some part-way and in others fully (although I most always perform the whole practice of apologizing-to-living-things-I-accidentally-trample-or-kill).

  My beliefs are absurd, but I know they are absurd, and I cherish them for their absurdity. For the most part (except of course for this blogposting), I keep them to myself. I would never dare to berate another for his or her lack of belief in my beliefs. I would never approach another and ask if he has accepted the Flying Spaghetti Monster as his one and only living and ever-watchful Saviour, nor would I confront another and ask if he has accepted Allah as his one and only true god (mostly because I don't feel like talking to the FBI again and explaining to them, again, that I am not a terrorist).

  So, those are my beliefs, although they aren't, really, as I believe in that which cannot be named, that which is inexhaustible, that which has no form, that which has a name so powerful that to say it would be to rend the very fabric of the universe, that which has a form so subtle that it is the form of all things and no things.
  And yet, unlike a believer in an established religion, I will (and do) change my beliefs if presented with superior and logical evidence that they are wrong.
  My belief-systems are flexible, expanding and contracting with every stroke of the bellows.
  My beliefs will never convince me that the actions of another person merit persecution or death (unless said actions involve rape, theft, or murder). My beliefs will never convince me that they are superior to the beliefs of anyone else in the world.
  I yearn only to exhibit my beliefs through my actions, never by cornering of someone at the local home-improvement store or by yelling at strangers on a street-corner in Hollywood.
  My beliefs are my business; they belong to me alone. I will never kill for my beliefs, nor will I enslave another person, nor will I berate another person for not sharing my beliefs.

  So, for all those people who find it necessary to spread vocally the word of their god, stop. Keep it to yourselves, and let the rest of us rational, flexible folk get on with our lives. Your rigid adherence to religious doctrine is sad, at best. Keep your religious observances out of our legislatures, out of our court-rooms, out of our public places. Keep America tolerant; keep her free.

  Vote NO on American theocracy.

Ultima Ratio Regum
Juliet Papa Romeo

on the futility of firm beliefs

I believe in nothing, and everything. I believe in all gods and creeds and think they are all so much baloney. For many years, indeed for most of my life have I lived, although mostly secretly so as not to offend my late father the Lutheran pastor, outside of the umbrella of true and diehard belief.
For decades I have been confused and scared by this condition of non-belief, for with everyone around me praying to some unseen and unfelt god I was afraid that my lack of faith would somehow damn me to eternal hellfire and also send me down a spiraling hole of woe and discontentment. While the argument could be made that this has in fact happened, that I have descended into the rabbit hole of rationalistic pantheism and emerged a crippled and worthless soul, I argue that my path has left me with the ability to embrace and pursue avenues to Happiness that I might otherwise have missed (by ruling out avenues to Happiness that I have tried and abandoned). It allows me to question all aspects of my understanding of myself and the world and has kept me away from the shackles of belief when faced with trying times.
Were I a true believer in some sort of omnipotent god, I would not have been able to weather the Night at Elysium in which I suffered hallucinations from food poisoning that allowed me to change fundamental aspects of my personality (i.e. to ease the pain of losing my mother and thus bridle my need to wantonly abuse substances). Instead I would likely have quaked in fear and prayed for guidance for weeks thereafter and would not have had the self-control to wrest from the situation a positive ending.
One major downside to this lack of firm beliefs is the fact that, after every confidence-shattering event such as a major relationship breakup or death in the family, I must rebuild my self-esteem and work hard to right the balance of positive and negative thoughts in my head, without the help of a religious support group, without a shoulder to cry on, without assistance from the outside. (Believe me: no one really cares, and if they say they care, they are either flat out lying or otherwise trying to sell you something.)
You are born alone, you live beholden to none but those whom you choose, and you die alone. I understand that while my refusal to seek outside help retards the healing process to a large degree, each subsequent existential crisis, although unique and painful in its own fashion, becomes easier for me to recover from and the process of  restructuring my psyche happens more quickly and with fewer longterm errors.
I firmly believe that everyone I know and love will abandon and betray me at their earliest convenience. I also believe that those I know and love will support me fully until the end of my days, although I have withdrawn nearly all attempts to gain said support, which is an inhuman and unnatural state of being because people expect you to rely on them and if you don't they cut you out of their lives in subtle but profound ways.
To sum this up a bit, I have tried to stop complaining about my hardships, and try to deal with them quietly and privately, without a strict reliance on some form of scripture, with only the Tao Te Ching to get me through the hardest parts, the best book for those seeking to mold their psyche and quell internal unrest I have ever read. Most people, however, like it when people complain, because they then have an excuse to complain themselves and get all the pent up tension off their chest.
Well, this went from firm beliefs to interpersonal relationships, but as almost no one but I (and you X0) reads this blog, continuity is paramount to rambling expression.

"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something." W. Goldman, The Princess Bride

numquam ponenda est pluralitas sine necessitate.
JPR