Accustomed to believing everything told to him by the one television channel he thinks tells the truth, local resident Chester T. Whipplebutton suffered a severe reaction to unexpectedly hearing two conflicting points of view. Symptoms of his reaction to the apparent contradiction included a dramatic spike in blood pressure followed by a skin rash similar to hives and a mild stroke.
The incident occurred early last evening during a scheduled commercial break interrupting his favorite news-entertainment show. During the break, the television showed one advertisement for a new menu item at a fast-food chain that claimed it had the tastiest and most juicy burgers. Immediately afterward, however, aired an advertisement for a different fast-food chain in which it, too, claimed to have the tastiest and juiciest burgers. A firm believer in the rule of mutual exclusivity and having trained himself to only believe one idea, notion, or concept at a time, Mr. Whipplebutton entered a state of catatonic shock that has left him in critical condition.
Recent emergency-room statistics indicate a rise in cases similar to the one detailed above. Experts suggest that filter bubbles and saliency biases are partly to blame for Americans’ inability to hold two or more conflicting thoughts in their minds simultaneously.
americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan
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