on changing tastes

In a stunning reversal of gastronomic preference, the American people started to demand high-fat, high-salt foods, refusing to eat anything that claimed to be low in fat or devoid of added salt. “We have not seen a shift in public sentiment – especially when it comes to the sodium and transfat content of food – occur so quickly, almost overnight, in a long time,” said chairwoman of the United Heartland Food Councils, Darlene T. Wikkelbak. “Not since Wafflegate, when the Pastrymakers of America publicly announced that although waffles were utterly delicious they were essentially sugar-packed, dimpled pancakes made up of massive amounts of gluten, not since that tragic day have the American people changed their minds so quickly.” Preliminary reports indicate that a single, 42-second-long, shoddily-produced parody of a fast-food commercial playing on the YouTubes has shaped Ynki opinion more effectively than all federally-funded public service campaigns of the last two decades, combined.

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