Hot rays of the sun
Heated rock warming water
Vast sources of force
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Showing posts with label heat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label heat. Show all posts
11 March 2018
22 August 2012
rain goes away
Suffering greatly at the hands of a group of children that would simply not stop chanting, “Rain, rain, go away – come again another day,” a cluster of cumulonimbus clouds that was just about to drop some precious moisture on the region's parched fields up and left. “At some point, even I can't stomach the constant and continuous demands for us to leave,” said Sir Dumps-A-Lot, a budding strato-cumulonimbus who was on the verge of tears. “We're only here to make sure everything stays nice and moist, but those damn kids just kept singing, and singing, and singing, and singing.”
The clouds, which were scheduled to stick around all weekend and maybe cause a stream or two to flood, vanished quickly, leaving no buffer between the thirsty soil and two whole days' worth of hot, direct sunshine. When asked where they might be headed next, a big-bellied cloud with a dark and swollen center said, “The wakinyan – the thunder beings that make the flash and the boom – they told us to avoid this area for a while, since they too had had curses and hatred flung at them for knocking out a few transformer boxes and setting a patch of forest on fire. I'm not calling the shots around here, but Senior Soak-Em-Good and Miss Daisy-Drizzle-Bottoms thought it would be fun to go rain over the ocean for a while, just to show the humans that we are not to be trifled with.” Rumor has it that the clouds and their ilk have been avoiding the central and western portions of the North American continent because of a series of nasty news reports blaming them – and not the propensity of humans to cover the Earth in layer upon layer of impenetrable asphalt and to move around in gasoline-burning, self-propelled steel chariots – for the area's lack of rainfall.
As a parting insult, the wakinyan spent ninety minutes lighting up the heavens with what is commonly known as heat lightning, more than likely to strike fear in the hearts of any persons sitting in darkened houses trying to keep the fridge doors closed. When last seen, the cluster of clouds was loitering over a major national airport, flooding pipes and causing delays, as usual.
場黑麥 mentiri factorem fecit
The clouds, which were scheduled to stick around all weekend and maybe cause a stream or two to flood, vanished quickly, leaving no buffer between the thirsty soil and two whole days' worth of hot, direct sunshine. When asked where they might be headed next, a big-bellied cloud with a dark and swollen center said, “The wakinyan – the thunder beings that make the flash and the boom – they told us to avoid this area for a while, since they too had had curses and hatred flung at them for knocking out a few transformer boxes and setting a patch of forest on fire. I'm not calling the shots around here, but Senior Soak-Em-Good and Miss Daisy-Drizzle-Bottoms thought it would be fun to go rain over the ocean for a while, just to show the humans that we are not to be trifled with.” Rumor has it that the clouds and their ilk have been avoiding the central and western portions of the North American continent because of a series of nasty news reports blaming them – and not the propensity of humans to cover the Earth in layer upon layer of impenetrable asphalt and to move around in gasoline-burning, self-propelled steel chariots – for the area's lack of rainfall.
As a parting insult, the wakinyan spent ninety minutes lighting up the heavens with what is commonly known as heat lightning, more than likely to strike fear in the hearts of any persons sitting in darkened houses trying to keep the fridge doors closed. When last seen, the cluster of clouds was loitering over a major national airport, flooding pipes and causing delays, as usual.
場黑麥 mentiri factorem fecit
22 June 2012
beat the heat with meat
Is your health suffering from the high humidity and scorching heat of this most recent heat-wave? Do you find yourself sweating profusely, your clothes soaked and sopping, your body limp and wilted like the flowers dying in your window-box? Are you sick and tired of feeding quarters into the air-conditioner that some fool screwed haphazardly into the window-frame of your cheap, sleazy motel room? If you have nodded in affirmation or responded with a verbal “Yes” to any of these questions, don't go draping a wet towel over your head, and have the good sense not to run that electricity-guzzling oscillating fan – this summer, beat the heat with meat. Drape some thinly-cut beef across your glistening brow! Cram some ham into your smoldering armpits! Cover yourself in layer upon layer of cool, refreshing cold-cuts, looking no further than your own refrigerator for cool, blessed relief.
Yes, dear reader, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has finally allowed America's producers of meats and meat-based products to sell and promote their juicy, tender morsels as they should have been selling and promoting them all along – as Nature's original – and best – provider of long-term, safe, and environmentally-friendly cooling. No longer shall the people of this land be compelled to stuff their faces with those baby-back ribs they purchased at an insane, post-Labor-Day discount: now, they can use that meat the way it was intended to be used, namely, as a backrest for their backyard meat-seats! It sure beats the heat to sit in a chair made of meat, of succulent chop and flavorful hock, of freshly-cut slice and finely-minced dice. If your head is heating up just thinking about all the wonderful, new ways to use highly-processed slabs of animal flesh, just grab a few bulging handfuls of ground beef chuck and fashion yourself a refreshing, sanitary meat helmet. And best of all, once you are done with the meat, simply discard it onto the side of the road, or cram it into your neighbor's mailbox. Believe me, your neighbor, and those cuddly racoons, will thank you for it. So, this summer, when the non-human-activity-related global climate irregularities have you huffing and puffing and casting about for a spot of quick relief, slap on that beef undershirt or slip into an pork-and-veal summer dress. All the smart people are doing it – why not you, too?!
場黑麥 mentiri manufactorem fecit
Yes, dear reader, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has finally allowed America's producers of meats and meat-based products to sell and promote their juicy, tender morsels as they should have been selling and promoting them all along – as Nature's original – and best – provider of long-term, safe, and environmentally-friendly cooling. No longer shall the people of this land be compelled to stuff their faces with those baby-back ribs they purchased at an insane, post-Labor-Day discount: now, they can use that meat the way it was intended to be used, namely, as a backrest for their backyard meat-seats! It sure beats the heat to sit in a chair made of meat, of succulent chop and flavorful hock, of freshly-cut slice and finely-minced dice. If your head is heating up just thinking about all the wonderful, new ways to use highly-processed slabs of animal flesh, just grab a few bulging handfuls of ground beef chuck and fashion yourself a refreshing, sanitary meat helmet. And best of all, once you are done with the meat, simply discard it onto the side of the road, or cram it into your neighbor's mailbox. Believe me, your neighbor, and those cuddly racoons, will thank you for it. So, this summer, when the non-human-activity-related global climate irregularities have you huffing and puffing and casting about for a spot of quick relief, slap on that beef undershirt or slip into an pork-and-veal summer dress. All the smart people are doing it – why not you, too?!
場黑麥 mentiri manufactorem fecit
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