dreamstate writing 15 May 2018

During one of this morning’s dreams, I and a handful of other entities were on our way to the airport to board a flight. On the way, we stopped to go hiking on a path that ran alongside a tall, vaguely circular, wooded mountain that looked strongly familiar. In order to reach the lot where we’d parked our car, we had to pass through a long tunnel, which featured a roofed bulletin board  from which paper message and bags that people had forgotten were hanging.

Recognizing a white canvas bag as one my father used to own, I lifted it off of the wooden peg from which it had hung and opened it up, rifling through the contents. Out came reams of loose papers as well as a few old-fashioned photographs. The latter I kept turning over in my hands until I could see the images they bore, mostly poor-quality pictures of my siblings and me in our youth sitting amongst our parents in darkened rooms.

Suddenly, I became aware of a large and threatening shadow-shape lurking under the steel walkway that lead through the tunnel. My initial attempts to flee were thwarted by my companions, who soothed my fears. Then, during the same or a subsequent dream, I heard with my waking ears someone that sounded just like my deceased mother say my first and middle names, to which I responded, aloud, with, “Hi, mom.”

[ americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan ]

funeral dirigible for rent

Inappropriate Customs Ltd. (ICL) is now accepting rental applications for its line of funeral dirigibles. These light-weight airships are capable of hovering over any space – be it the parking-lot of a church, a funeral home, or a cemetery – blotting out the sun and casting such gloom as is necessary to maintain a proper level of despondent sadness at depressing events such as these. For an additional fee, ICL will have tarps printed depicting the likeness of the deceased person, draping them over the sides of their semi-rigid airships so that the dead might, just one last time, be able to cast an admonishing, spiteful gaze over friends and family. At additional cost, loudspeakers hanging from the operator's gondola can be made to play a selection of funeral dirges, slow funeral marches, or any music the surviving persons might want to listen to as they walk with halting, deliberate steps back to their individual automobiles before speeding off to the four points of the compass without ever needing to really speaking to each other, ever again. To offset the cost of rental, ICL suggests charging funeral attendees to take guided tours of the airship as it rises and descends above the assembled masses. Tours include a walk around the superstructure, a lesson in small engine repair, and a complimentary sick-bag for any person needing to vomit. Individuals interested in touring the dirigible should be prepared to climb rickety ladders, they should not be afraid of tight, enclosed spaces, and they should be non-smokers, since the helium that keeps these suckers air-buoyant is really, really flammable.

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