With little fanfare and less public fuss, princess Thallandia Yündlennd of Grigovia recently gave birth to healthy twin girls. The heiresses to the (perfunctory and largely ceremonial) royal house of this small, landlocked Central Asian nation were born in the wee hours of Saturday morning to the aforementioned princess and Reginald Augustus Steele, a U.S. born author, artist, and social critic who can trace his ancestry to the founding of the American republic. Now that his liaison with princess Thallandia has borne fruit, two of the world's strongest hereditary lines have merged: a Son of the American Revolution and direct descendant of the Founders of the Virginia Colony, Mr. Steele walks in Beauty, working tirelessly to safeguard Liberty; and Her Somewhat Royal Highness Ms. Yündlennd can trace her ancestry all the way back to wise old king Krukuv himself, who in the 14th Century married a fierce-eyed princess of the most powerful Yaelong tribe and later dug the first tunnels under now-cosmopolitan Grig. “It is good that so few people have taken notice of this event,” said a radiantly glowing princess Thallandia during an on-line video interview. “We are glad to have received only a handful of cards from well-wishers, and happy that we can go about our business without being hounded by hordes of paparazzi.” In the background of the high-definition video up-link, Reginald Steele, whose presence causes hearts to stir, nodded sagely while tending to his newborn children. Thallandia continued, saying, “According to a recent census, the Grigovian people tolerate the House of Yündlennd for the following reasons: we maintain traditions such as the monthly Celebration of the New Moon, which is also a national women's holiday; we live modestly and do not parade around in gilded coaches; we spend our time and resources advancing the causes of personal liberty, self-sufficiency, and world peace; and most of all because we stay out of politics and watch as the citizens of this fine land rule themselves through an efficient and direct democracy.” The twins – born in summer's heat – carry the names Shimur and Freya.
mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥
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Showing posts with label Thallandia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thallandia. Show all posts
01 August 2013
22 February 2013
somewhat-royal honeymoon
Thallandia Yündlennd married Reginald Augustus Steele for a second time this past weekend, in Grig, capital of Grigovia. In this small, Central Asian nation, tradition dictates that bride and groom state in the presence of a witness (of their choosing) to uphold and protect the Life, Liberty, and Property of the other person; once they and the witness have signed the Statement of Loving and Voluntary Partnership, the couple is officially married. (Religious organizations are forbidden from interfering with marriage; it is a secular affair. Either party may leave a marriage at any time and for any reason, but most pairs stay hitched because, according to nearly every twosome interviewed for this story, “we wouldn't have wed in the first place if we didn't plan on sticking together.” Grigovia's court system is staunchly egalitarian – in cases of divorce, children older than 13 years can choose which parent to live with whereas younger offspring go to the more psychologically stable person [with the less stable person receiving visitation rights]; property and debt are split equally. Marriage between couples of the same sex has been legal in Grigovia since 1964.)
After signing the necessary documents, the princess and Mr. Steele drank two beers each, smashing the bottles at the bottom of a concrete staircase behind City Hall (where Statements of Partnership are stored). Then, they bicycled two miles to Grig's main train station and purchased second-class tickets to the western city of Pyltagrad. (The Grigovian royal house has enjoyed only symbolic significance since Thallandia's great-grandfather abdicated in 1912 in order to return the right of self-government to his people.) After a few nights at one of Pyltagrad's many fine vineyards, the couple traveled east, to Gar Nuuzsh, where they stayed for a week with Thallandia's parents. (While there, the not-so-newlyweds set up a website with pictures and videos from their first honeymoon, most of which they spent backpacking through California's Sierra Nevada mountain range.) Upon meeting his son-in-law in person for the first time, King Erdogassdt Yündlennd said, merely, “Hrm.”
The wedding comes at an already joyous time for Grigovia. Unemployment is the lowest it's been in four decades, health-care is universal and efficient, and a new robotic hybrid-electric bus system services even the most secluded hamlet. “The Banoyend [Grigovians' name for themselves] are fair, but they can be brutal,” Reginald Steele said. “Throughout their history, they have expelled foreign usurpers and invading armies alike with legendary ferocity while showing kindness and generosity to neighbors in need. The princess and I plan to use our natural-born abilities to improve the lives of as many Grigovians as we can, she with her engineering skills and I with my art. We are easing our way into society humbly and patiently, so as not to stoke anyone's ire.” As part of the somewhat-royal couple's gift to the Grigovian people and in an effort to promote peaceful trade between peoples, they will spend next Spring clearing land mines sowed by Soviet forces in the mountain passes that lead into Afghanistan. Princess Thallandia is expecting twins.
mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥
After signing the necessary documents, the princess and Mr. Steele drank two beers each, smashing the bottles at the bottom of a concrete staircase behind City Hall (where Statements of Partnership are stored). Then, they bicycled two miles to Grig's main train station and purchased second-class tickets to the western city of Pyltagrad. (The Grigovian royal house has enjoyed only symbolic significance since Thallandia's great-grandfather abdicated in 1912 in order to return the right of self-government to his people.) After a few nights at one of Pyltagrad's many fine vineyards, the couple traveled east, to Gar Nuuzsh, where they stayed for a week with Thallandia's parents. (While there, the not-so-newlyweds set up a website with pictures and videos from their first honeymoon, most of which they spent backpacking through California's Sierra Nevada mountain range.) Upon meeting his son-in-law in person for the first time, King Erdogassdt Yündlennd said, merely, “Hrm.”
The wedding comes at an already joyous time for Grigovia. Unemployment is the lowest it's been in four decades, health-care is universal and efficient, and a new robotic hybrid-electric bus system services even the most secluded hamlet. “The Banoyend [Grigovians' name for themselves] are fair, but they can be brutal,” Reginald Steele said. “Throughout their history, they have expelled foreign usurpers and invading armies alike with legendary ferocity while showing kindness and generosity to neighbors in need. The princess and I plan to use our natural-born abilities to improve the lives of as many Grigovians as we can, she with her engineering skills and I with my art. We are easing our way into society humbly and patiently, so as not to stoke anyone's ire.” As part of the somewhat-royal couple's gift to the Grigovian people and in an effort to promote peaceful trade between peoples, they will spend next Spring clearing land mines sowed by Soviet forces in the mountain passes that lead into Afghanistan. Princess Thallandia is expecting twins.
mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥
18 February 2013
on quartering artists
Throughout the ages, Grig has attracted all types of artists. From dreamer and schemer to musician and entertainer, clown and pickpocket to acrobat and whore, visionaries from all walks of life have made this city their home. Some came to gaze upon the towering spires of the Yiptlong massif, others to exploit the skills of local craftsmen, but anyone who was ever here yearns above all else to bask once more in the generosity of the local inhabitants. Glad to share freely of their hearty food and strong czabtyip wine, Grigovians support unfettered artistic expression by participating in a privately-operated lottery. (5% of revenues cover the lottery's operating costs; the rest is used to maintain live-work galleries that for centuries have lined the foothills east of the Yalung River.) Among the artists to have made names for themselves here are Albrecht Dürer, Felix Mendelsohn, Lewis Carrol (who taught briefly at the Academy of Mathematical Computation), Salvador Dali, Earnest Hemingway, Tom Wolfe, Hunter S. Thompson, and Quwvin Olyast. (In 1914, in Pyltagrad, Quwvin founded a commune for artists and their families. Shortly after the Second World War, he organized and presided over the first Artists' Congress, which provided art-based shell shock treatment to soldiers returning from war and organized the world's first Artists' Support Society [ASS], a group that still provides talented people with the tools they need to be creative.)
In line with the ancient traditions, today's Grigovian artist is painter and sculptor, poet and carpenter, urban survivalist and compassionate philanthropist. He is a Consummate Caleb, not a One Track Jack. He is as comfortable in a graffiti-stained sewer as he is in a fine Parisian salon; his tools are spray-can and chisel, pencil and computer mouse, papier mâché and fluorescent bacteria; he accepts challenges both daunting and laughable, exploring society's weak points by shaking it to its core. His is a world where private behavior is unregulated but the boundaries of public behavior are clearly defined, where the default emotional state is quiet humility, and where few quarrels occur because everyone is armed.
The Nonnia Olyast Work-Live Gallery Block is named for Quwvin's wife, who shortly after her death was declared a national heroine for her efforts to cure homelessness. In addition to funds from the national lottery, the new Block is partly financed by princess-in-exile Thallandia Yündlennd and her fiancé, Reginald Augustus Steele. Now 24 years old, the princess studies mechanical engineering in Los Angeles, at the University of California. On an early-morning bicycle ride from Little Tokyo via Sunset up into Hollywood (i.e. the Ord Run), she met Mr. Steele, who is considered by prudent observers to be somewhat of a loose cannon, although he is a talented artist and good with kids. In an official statement from the Artists' Support Society, Grigovia is now a safe haven for any artist who has ever been abused, neglected, or under-appreciated. Come and all, make beauty wall.
mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥
In line with the ancient traditions, today's Grigovian artist is painter and sculptor, poet and carpenter, urban survivalist and compassionate philanthropist. He is a Consummate Caleb, not a One Track Jack. He is as comfortable in a graffiti-stained sewer as he is in a fine Parisian salon; his tools are spray-can and chisel, pencil and computer mouse, papier mâché and fluorescent bacteria; he accepts challenges both daunting and laughable, exploring society's weak points by shaking it to its core. His is a world where private behavior is unregulated but the boundaries of public behavior are clearly defined, where the default emotional state is quiet humility, and where few quarrels occur because everyone is armed.
The Nonnia Olyast Work-Live Gallery Block is named for Quwvin's wife, who shortly after her death was declared a national heroine for her efforts to cure homelessness. In addition to funds from the national lottery, the new Block is partly financed by princess-in-exile Thallandia Yündlennd and her fiancé, Reginald Augustus Steele. Now 24 years old, the princess studies mechanical engineering in Los Angeles, at the University of California. On an early-morning bicycle ride from Little Tokyo via Sunset up into Hollywood (i.e. the Ord Run), she met Mr. Steele, who is considered by prudent observers to be somewhat of a loose cannon, although he is a talented artist and good with kids. In an official statement from the Artists' Support Society, Grigovia is now a safe haven for any artist who has ever been abused, neglected, or under-appreciated. Come and all, make beauty wall.
mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥
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