on punishing Nazis

A group of four American tourists (of mostly European descent) found taunting and attempting to urinate on a monument to Grigovia’s resistance to Nazism during the 1940s has been apprehended by elderly bystanders. The four had attempted to desecrate the ‘Heroes of Anti-Fascism’ stela in downtown Pryaghdoyest after consuming many liters of local beer at a nearby publick house. According to eyewitnesses they then stumbled out into the streets chanting ‘USA’ and uttering scatological utterances and derogatory terms for African-Americans. While singing a poor rendition of the Horst-Wessel song, half of the men raised their hands in a fascist salute while the others prepared to void their bowels.

A pair of former librarians came across the group as it was trying to mount the monument. Two of the men had dropped their pants, crudely exposing their genitals, at which point the retired women overwhelmed them physically then kept them subdued until police arrived. The men have been charged with attempted desecration of a nationally recognized memorial as well as Nazi sympathizing, the latter being a serious crime that carries the death sentence.

The men’s trial by jury has been set for two weeks hence.
“Given recent events in America’s southern state of Virginia, we believe that these men should not be sent home but punished to the full extend of our laws,” said Dr. Tharr Hannesst, state’s attorney for the southern district of Grigovia. “Given their violent public behavior as well as the files and reading materials we found in their hotel rooms and laptops, these men appear to be neo-Nazis. We learned in the past that Nazis, be they old or new, cannot be reasoned with - they must be destroyed.” Similar cases indicate that the Americans’ execution will commence by drowning.

americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan