Unknown assailants breached the firewall of SolDelicious Grapefruit Growers Ltd. (SDGG) this morning, installing ransomware to hold the company’s data hostage. Covering most of northern Florida and southern Georgia, SDGG produces more than sixty percent of the world’s grapefruit. Popular on all continents, the company’s sun-dappled grounds regularly produce delicious and juicy produce - until today, that is. “Nothing’s working,” said SDGG chief technical officer Dr. Gharnn Y. Badel. Laboring to get a cavernous packing and shipping warehouse back up and running, Dr. Badel expressed hope that the board of directors would pay the sum demanded. “We need to get this equipment working. The world needs our juicy fruits.” On the New York Stock Exchange, SDGG stock skyrocketed upon word of the breach. Rumors are spreading that the attack was a false flag operation initiated by majority-shareholding shadow corporations.
© JPR / whorphan / americanifesto / 場黑麥
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