Gran clicks link

After hours of careful deliberation, Des Moines, Iowa resident and septuagenarian Alice Hasenloch moved the cursor of her mouse over a bank of advertisements flashing brightly on the trailing edge of her cathode-ray-tube computer monitor. Whipping the mouse up and down so as to straighten out its cord, Alice took a deep breath, peered at the target advert one more time, took a moment to ponder whether or not she really wanted to receive a pamphlet containing information about the platforms and policies of one Bernard Sanders, depressed the left button on the mouse using her right index finger, and sat back to wait. As the election had already passed, however, and a fear-mongering nincompoop had been elected to the presidency, the link took her to a page that looked like but wasn’t the page she was trying to reach. Deeper and deeper she went into the dark core of the Internet until she started seeing pictures of people who weren’t wearing clothes, whereupon she pressed CTRL+F4 enough times to cause her left hand to cramp up. Once her computer displayed nothing but the desktop screen (a picture of her neighbor’s grandchildren), she initiated its shutdown procedures, got up, stretched, said, “Ah well, fuck it,” and took a walk that happened to take her past the corner package store.

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