relinerize today

Do you grow a new stomach lining every week? Are you tired of your body constantly having to coat the inside of your guts with a new layer of cells? If so, Bioregenetics International Inc. (BII) announced last week from its headquarters in Maine a revolutionary new way to ensure that the human stomach stays properly lined. "People are fed up with the inconvenience of natural stomach lining regeneration," said Dr. Thornton Barleywaithe, director of product development at Bioregenetics. "Our product provides a feasible alternative to the constant hassle of standard regeneration."

The new product, named Relinerize, is a half-pound of stomach lining starter cells that, once swallowed whole, lines the stomach with a more robust covering than usual, reducing wasteful energy consumption. Clinical trials on Rhesus primates have shown a remarkable reduction in energy usage due to constant regeneration as well as a reduced dependency on shellfish as a major dietary supplement. Relinerize, which is taken only once every three months, completely eliminates the natural process of stomach lining rejuvenation, one that occurs regularly in most healthy people. Due to the constant presence of acidic digestive fluids crucial to the digestive process, the stomach is in a perpetual death spiral of destruction and rejuvenation. Studies have shown that the body takes longer than most people wish it would to remove and regrow the damaged cells. Relinerize adheres to the stomach wall and expands to cover the entire organ with a thick coat of cells twenty times that of the average stomach wall. "The thickness of a Relinerized stomach wall is the key to the product's success," said Mary Yardmoth, lead researcher on the Relinerize developmental team. "With our new product, the speed of degradation to the stomach wall is slowed dramatically. An additional benefit of the Relinerized stomach's reduced capacity is marked but healthy weight loss similar but far superior to the invasive practice of stomach stapling."

While Bioregenetics says that the ingestible version of Relinerize is easy to swallow, they have hinted at the development of a new, implantable, capsule-sized microfactory that functions much like an implantable birth control device. "We understand that most consumers are willing and able to dry-swallow a half pound of gelatinous membrane," Barleywaithe noted, "but there is a small segment of the population that would rather have a miniature cellular production factory sewn onto the outside of their digestive pouch." (From the proposed device, an uninterrupted flow of robust cells would spew forth into the digestive cavity.) Relinerize is shipped via special overnight delivery in a sleek foam container marked BIO-HAZARD in bold red lettering, making it easy to spot. The product must be ingested immediately to guarantee the highest rate of success. "We want to stress the importance of immediate consumption," Yardmoth said. "Please don't just leave a shipment of Relinerize out in a sun-baked mailbox."

(Relinerize® is a registered trademark of MFF Holdings Group. For further information, and to order your free sample of Relinerize, e-mail relinerizeinfo@bioregenetics.net)

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