WTFWJD - driving

  I was behind a driver recently who was weaving all over the road, crossing over the double yellow line into oncoming traffic to avoid parked cars he was no way threatening to hit, with his entire arm out the window and generally not paying attention. When I snugged up behind him at a stoplight, I noticed he had a medallion of a Christian fish wherein was written the acronym, WWJD.

To answer this sage and perpetual question, I said to myself, what Jesus would do would be to: retain all limbs within the vehicle (as any limb located outside the vehicle is a limb that is likely to be ripped violently off the body); follow the rules of the road; drive like a gentleman; stay within the lines; wash his windows to maintain visibility; and generally respect the great responsibility and always-present dangers inherent to operating a motor vehicle.

Instead of gluing a piece of plastic to the back of your car and expecting it to eliminate the need to be kind, courteous, and self-respecting, I call upon the WWJD set to apply the guidelines set forth in their holiest of books to their everyday lives. It is not enough to browbeat or otherwise fear-monger people into worshiping the gods you worship; acting like good and upstanding citizens and operating according to the highest principles of your religion is far more likely to spread the word about your chosen god and to display the honor, self-respect, and virtuousness you can glean from your chosen teachings.

Remember: America was not founded as a Christian nation (see article 11 of the Treaty of Tripoli, drafted by George Washington and released under John Adams), and its recognition as such would invalidate the essence of liberty by forcing her citizens to worship a god not necessarily of their choosing. Worship your gods as you see fit, but don't be too hard on those who don't share your sentiments, and don't try to tell them they are wrong in their beliefs. This is a nation of a million religions and a million points of view, where the liberty to decide for oneself how to live one's own life and what thoughts to entertain is a constitutionally-protected right.

So, what would Jesus do? For one, he probably wouldn't drive like a complete moron.  

Ultima Ratio Regum - 場黑麥 John Paul Roggenkamp